JIMIN’S POV

“You’re really leaving?” My wife asked me, batting sad little eyelashes up at me.

“Yup.” I kissed her. “I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. You won’t even miss me.”

“Sun Jae will. And Haru!”

“You guys will be fine. Excellent, even.” I pulled her into a hug. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

She rested her forehead on my shoulder and heaved a deep sigh. “Do you have to go?”

“Yeah. I do.” I sprinkled kisses in her hair. “I love you.”

“It’s mean, leaving at night. Haru doesn’t get to torture you with her clinging sobs. It’s not fair.”

I broke away and bent over Sun Jae. He lay on the carpet, staring up at the ceiling and blinking every so often. A riveting existence.

“Bye, booger. Daddy loves you!” I kissed his forehead and his chin, then down his belly to his toes. He smiled at me and I melted inside. My little guy was two weeks old already.

My wife threw her arms around my back. “Don’t go.” She pleaded into my shirt. “Jimin, stop being an idol.”

I laughed. “Babe, don’t you wanna see me in my stage clothes?”

“I like you in sweatpants best.” She insisted.

I turned around in her embrace and cupped her face in my hands. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be, okay? I love you. I don’t want to go. But I’ll bring you back some nice German chocolate and we’ll FaceTime tonight, okay?”

“Every night.” She blinked up at me with her sad doe eyes. God, those thick curly eyelashes were going to be the death of me.

“Every night.” I promised. “Now, I have to go.”

“Bye.” She whispered, holding me tightly.

By the time I finally extricated myself from my wife, I was running behind by fifteen minutes. Namjoon picked me up outside of my building and we drove to the airport together.

He looked good. Instead of his usual baggy culottes, he wore tight black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a loose white tee. I recognized his sunglasses from our last tour in Japan; he and I had gone shopping together. I had a similar pair at home that my wife liked to wear.

“Nice outfit.” Namjoon commented, staring pointedly at my exposed thighs. My tight lightwash denim jeans were very heavily torn and showed off my thighs. My wife loved my thighs and I wanted her to remember that. I wouldn’t be home for two weeks and even though we hadn’t had a very serious fight in a couple of weeks, things weren’t stellar.

I wanted her to see what she would miss out on.

“I never thought I’d dress to please a woman.” Namjoon sighed heavily.

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it.” I replied mildly. “There are a lot of perks to dressing for your lover.”

“You sound like a Cosmo article.” He snorted.

“How’s your girl?” I stared out the window at the passing scenery.

“You know what, I think we’re doing good.” He turned the car around a rather tight corner.

“Yeah? Not sure?”

“Nope. Definitely not sure, but she laughs a lot when she’s with me. She sleeps over a lot, and we don’t fight as much as we used to.”

“Those things all sound good. What’s making you unsure?”

“I don’t know, exactly. I think a lot of it is I’m still away a lot. I’m thinking of inviting her to the studio sometimes. She could edit while I write and record, you know? Instead of just waiting for me to come home.”

I hummed in agreement.

“And…I’m thinking of asking her to move in with me.”

“Like with you and Tae? Or you guys would find your own place?”

“We would find our own place.” Namjoon said quietly. “And leave Tae out of it.”

I nodded. I knew it would be hard for Taehyung to relinquish this last little hold he had on Ji Eun, but it was for the best. She didn’t love him and Tae and Namjoon basically hated each other at this point.

“Jungkook was looking to move out, anyway. Said it’s too crowded with Hoseok and Yoongi.”

I snorted. “He just wants to be able to bring girls home without getting teased.”

“It makes you sad, though, right? We’ve spent all this time together and now things are slowly falling apart.”

“Joon, I’ve got two kids and a wife. I haven’t lived with you guys in five years. I’m definitely the wrong person to get sentimental with.”

“I just…I’m gonna miss Tae. I wish he hadn’t dated Ji Eun. Wished he still kept dating those nannies.”

“Hmm.” I agreed. “Yeah…Ji Eun wasn’t good for him.”

“She’s like the least loyal person I know.” Namjoon said. “And she’s rude and frankly, kind of ty.”

“Nice things to say about your girlfriend.” I commented.

“Well…they’re true.”

“You’re a , though, so I guess you guys make a good couple.”

“I just think she was a better person when she was with Taehyung.”

“She was hella mean to you when she dated TaeTae. And she cheated on him with you. She’s not a good girlfriend, Joon. She’s selfish and inconsiderate. Sure, she’s gorgeous, but is that really what matters to you?”

“I love her.” Namjoon said simply. “And I made her that way. She wanted to love me, commit to me for real, but I kept rejecting her.”

“She strung you along for like, three years! What part of that was her being rejected?”

“Jimin. You know as well as I do that there’s a lot that goes on in a relationship that people don’t know about.” He paused for a moment. “We all love your wife, but watching you go through with her doesn’t really endear her to us. It’s the same thing with Ji Eun. You don’t know all of our good moments, when we’re happy. When we’re doing good. You guys see all of our problems and not the good .”

“Well, there’s a lot of bad . Like, really serious bad , Namjoon. She dated your best friend! And now you guys don’t even talk!”

He cleared his throat. “You’re really one to talk, Jimin. You and Jin, you think you’re any better?”

I scoffed. “My wife never encouraged him.”

Namjoon let oout a hollow, disbelieving laugh. “You really think that? You think that your wife didn’t know? Didn’t string Jin along like a sad, lovesick little puppet?”

I growled, deep in the back of my throat. “Don’t ing talk about my wife that way.”

“I’m just saying, Jimin. She knew.”

“She didn’t!” I cried out angrily. “Shut your damn mouth.”

“You really think Jin could have loved her for six years with no encouragement? You think all they did was kiss after she spent all those nights at his place when you guys were fighting?”

“How do you even know about that?”

Namjoon laughed. “Jin and I are close friends. He’s tight-lipped and respectful, but who can love like that with nothing to go on?”

I swallowed, trying to bite back my rage. And doubt. Why was he voicing all of my doubts now, after my wife told me she didn’t want to be separated anymore?

“Did Jin ever say anything to you?” I asked.

Namjoon glanced at me. “Didn’t you and your wife talk about this?”

“She told me she kind of had a feeling that he loved her, but she wasn’t sure.” I paused. “They just kissed. He just kissed her that one time.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “If that’s what you want to believe.”

“I wanna punch you in your smug ing mouth.”

“I’m just saying! You think they never hooked up?”

“No! I don’t think my wife cheated on me, god.” I smacked him on the back of his head.

“Listen…don’t be naïve. She probably thought about it.”

“Yeah, she probably did.” I admitted. “And that’s what freaks me out. She probably thought about it and I’m still kind of convinced that’s what made her ask me for a separation.”

“Probably.” Namjoon agreed. “Listen, if you guys get divorced, your wife can’t get with Jin. It would be terrible for our image.”

“Honestly, you. I’m gonna leak to all the papers that you and Taehyung both had serious relationships with the same girl.”

“Don’t be medieval. Girls are allowed to date whomever they please.”

“So, you’re not weirded out by that at all? You guys both had with her, and that’s not even a little off-putting to you?”

“You’re disgusting.” He tsked. “I love Ji Eun.”

“And I love my wife, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to sully her reputation.”

“Not my fault your wife is a player.”

“Seriously, you.”

I kind of wanted to punch Jin in his stupidly pretty face when we all met up at the airport. Unfortunately, he ended up being my seat partner.

“Hey, Jimin.” He smiled kindly at me.

“Go a .” I pulled my headphones over my ears and ignored Jin’s offended look. Really, though, you can’t tell a guy his wife knows how to use her tongue and not expect some retaliation.

My phone died an hour into the plane ride. I debated pretending to listen to music, but my headphones were heavy and irritating without music playing through them. As soon as I pulled them off, Jin began to talk to me.

“Jimin, listen. I just said that so you’d realize your wife could leave you over your petty jealousy.”

“Seokjin, just stop.” I held up my hand. “I don’t want to hear your lame- excuses. I know you’re like, desperately in love with my wife or whatever, but it’s not gonna happen. She’d probably leave me for Won Bin or someone, but not for you.”

Jin stared quietly at his hands.

“I know she will never love me.” He said in a small, hurt voice. “I know, Jimin. I gave her that letter to try and get over her. I kissed her because…well, I wanted to. And I’m not sorry for that. But I am sorry that you’re having marriage problems.”

“Just be honest with me. Did you ever sleep with her?” I stared him levelly in the eyes.

He met my gaze. “No, Jimin. We never slept together.”

“Did you ever fool around? Have you seen her ?”

“Jimin, come on.”

“I just want to cover all my bases here.”

I waited stubbornly for an answer.

“No, I’ve never seen her . Okay? Do you feel better now?”

“No, I don’t.” I picked at a nail. “You guys ever kiss before that time?”

“Nope.” Jin assured me. “Jimin, my feelings are one-sided. Believe me.”

“See, that’s the thing. I don’t believe you.” I looked up at him. “Jin, we’ve been through a lot together. I know that in reality, we’re only bandmates, but I thought we were closer than that. I never thought you’d really try to take my wife from me.”

Neither of us spoke for a long while. I shifted in my seat and tried to get some sleep.

“You have to understand.” Jin said finally, his voice cracked and strained. “She’s always loved you. And I have always loved her. You have no idea what that’s like, to watch the person you love be constantly in love with someone else. Do you know, I would love for her to look at me the way she looks at you? And you just…you ask me if I’ve ever seen her . Do I wanna have with your wife? Yeah, I ing do.”

“Jin!”

“But you know what? I’d rather get to curl up in bed with her every night. I would so much rather get to wake up to her sleepy face, with those adorable little dimples.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Jimin, I’m in love with her. I wanna be you. And you’re jealous of me? I just don’t get that.”

I tugged on the hem of my shirt.

“You just had a baby. Why are you asking me if I’ve seen your wife ?” Jin sighed.

“I’m afraid I’m going to lose all that, Jin.” I said softly. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My family, my kids. I love her sleepy little dimples. I love Sun Jae and Haru and like all the little family we do together. I’m so jealous of you because you guys have this emotional connection. She talks to you about stuff. She loves you, you’re like one of her favorite people.”

“You’re her favorite person.” Jin said, his cheeks slightly pink.

I cleared my throat. “Do you think she…knew about…about you being in love with her?”

Jin paused. “If she did, she was very quiet about it. I never got the idea that she knew. Even though I dropped so many hints.”

“You did, right? You wanted her to know.”

“Yeah.” Jin tapped his fingers against his thigh. “Yeah, cause I love her. And I just wanted to be able to tell her. You, like, don’t realize how lucky you are. You get to tell her every day. I kinda hate you sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, kinda hate you sometimes too.” I laughed quietly.

“Just…I wouldn’t take your wife away from you.” He patted my shoulder. “As much as I might want to.”

“Thought you were gonna propose to Anjali.”

“Yeah…well, we’ll see. She’s in India for the next couple of months, so, there’s that.”

“She’s gorgeous.” I commented. “Really y.”

“Uh, okay. Thanks.”

“Just, well, you should keep her around.”

“Alright. Thanks for the advice.”

I fiddled with my wedding ring, a small smile on my face. Of course they hadn’t slept together.

She loved me.

And Namjoon? Well, he could a .