The continuation of Believe.

Hero

She once, always questioned everything around her.

From mindless thoughts like why she couldn’t eat food in that good restaurant where she always passed by any chance. Of why she couldn’t even eat as frequently as people who would at least eat three times a day. She wasn’t the one to complaint, as she had seen with her own eyes many people out there who couldn’t be able to eat at all, so she was more than content to have something eaten at least for a day.

However, what weighed her inner self was the way of her to get food that she had to steal them or some bucks from passerby to be able to eat in general although she did not even like doing any of it.

…

She always questioned about why she had to live this life.

From mindless thoughts to the simplest yet hard, to be explained by herself, which was her basic existence—her reason of living in this world.

She never got any answer that satisfied her enough to why these things had to be happened in the end of each day.

When those times coming, she felt like her entire life was futile. She didn’t know whether she should be thankful for being able to breathe, because honestly, she felt no thrill in living anymore.

As if, she had no direction, no goal to reach—to look forward in her life.

Just simply wasted her time then she would die in the end of day without people realizing it.

There wasn’t any specific reason of why would she have to continue this ongoing hell called life.

Her life was basically empty.

Of what she had been doing was hollow, pointless, just—a plain nothing. She knew her real family did not want her, thus she came to realize when they had pretty much abandoned her that day. She humbly knew that she didn’t deserve their love at all, but was it necessary to make her suffer this as well—she once questioned it after tiredly running away from that shopkeeper. Wiping her drenched forehead while sighing for the countless time, she took a long deep breath to calm herself. However, she found her voice crack when she only managed to say, “W-why?”

Without her realizing it, she had clenched what seemed to be her dinner that day in tight fists, holding back her -ready to burst out- emotions.

The feelings of not knowing yourself had been bugging Taeyeon for almost her entire life.

She had endured enough of pain, but she did not really know how to vein it out before those burned feelings decided to explode and break her completely one day.

But when out of nowhere, KangIn, her friend that she had treated like her own brother, gave her a pocket knife, saying that she could use it to defend herself, Taeyeon just knew how to less her agony feelings. By hurting herself with it.

Several cuts on her body would not affect her in any way though. Besides, those pains would go away and heal by itself—she was fascinated with that little fact, hoping that all her misery would vanish magically, although leaving some trances behind because she had gone tired of telling people about it. Each of her questions would leave her with so many thoughts when people in her circle only laughed at her innocent queries.

***

It was funny, when she could perfectly feel lonesome boarded in such crowded place. 

She had tried to live her life, as much as she hated doing what they did, she couldn’t object and eventually do it as well because she wanted to live—although she had no reason yet. 

It was ridiculous when she could still feel lost, when people called themselves as family surrounded her. Not an actual family, but family in her eyes nevertheless. At the very least, they did not leave her to bear with the cruelty of this life, alone. 

***

She had gone through so much and come to point where she refused not to believe anymore. Believe, for some people out there, a simple word yet it would have a great meaning, which was an act to accept—to feel sure and have confidence in the truth. For her case, in the life itself, she could never be able to feel sure.

Something that was illogically not even true, at least for her.

Therefore, she couldn’t understand what that woman was even thinking for carelessly falling for her trap. Easily believing her act to help her out of nowhere. The moment their eyes met, she could detect such sincerity inside those orbs and realize her mistake when that woman had took several steps closer towards her place.

She couldn’t harm her.

She couldn’t hurt her who was kind enough for not using a judgmental look like everyone did towards her, and even offering to get her countless wound treated instead.

She vaguely remembered losing her balance, her head felt so light and she had no strength to stand on her ground after being stabbed by her own friend.

Taeyeon herself couldn’t understand why she would sacrifice her life for that woman. She could just let her suffer and leave the place in concord, but she could not do it even she really wanted to.

That woman was genuine, as she sincerely wanted to help her and the least she could do was returning her merited favor.

Thus, when she took out that knife of her stomach, she just knew, she would loss too much blood in the process. Nevertheless, all she wanted to do was scare her away, so that she would not see her dying after saving her. Because Taeyeon thought that, it would be her first time doing a right thing and she was glad to be able to do in the end of her life.

She was sure though that in a mere of second, she would be testing how hard the concrete under her was as she wobbled in free falling.   

However, to her surprise, there wasn’t anything she felt, generally. Her eyes opened widely and she couldn’t hear anything when out of nowhere her dim peripheral eyes caught a sight of this familiar woman, in close proximity as the latter crouched down near her.

She wanted this woman to just run for her life. But, it seemed like she was stubborn or some sort of it, for refusing to walk out and instead helping her in the end.

The one who needed any help was herself, not Taeyeon, although in the deepest part of her painfully slow beating heart—she badly needed it just as much, or maybe even more.

This woman was too good to be true; no one ever treated her like she ever did and Taeyeon hated her for recklessly tainting these clean hands by helping her out of messy dull life.

***

“Are you alright?”

She hissed when the blinding bright light shot in her eyes the moment she opened it. She had a strange dream last night and what made it stranger was the fact that she could sleep with dream.

Never, in her life before, she got to experience any dream. She would only sleep and that was just it—waking up with no feelings, only tiredness overtaking most of the time.

She tried to adjust her vision, and almost screamed when she saw who it was that questioned her well-being. That woman was towering and looking down at her with concern filled eyes.

“W-what?”

She sat up straight and regretted doing it because the pain on her stomach was now, overbearing.

“ARRGGH…”

“Nurse!” The woman yelled, taking a firm hold of her hand that had been clutching her stomach desperately, and Taeyeon threw herself directly against the mattress for not being able to overpower the growing pain.

Some figures in white uniforms rushed in and stood beside her at another side of the bed. Taeyeon didn’t know what they did to her but she could feel her conscious slowly fading.

Although it had taken effect to numb her whole body, the latter couldn’t shake the feeling of that woman’s hand on her own and the warmness she emitted without a glitch because Taeyeon could feel it alright.   

“You will be fine.”

***

“Why are you doing this?”

She sat quietly on her bedpost, looking all confused towards the other figure who seated herself on chair next to her bed. She had woken up in a gentler way this time so she would be able to properly ask her without the need to call for a nurse. Funny, Taeyeon thought to herself, instead of answering, this woman began to take an apple that placed on the table near them before peeling its skin with a knife.

She felt like her eyes going even open when she saw that sharp object. Her thoughts brought back the memories of why she could end up feeling these pains. Of why the reason she stayed here, inside a hospital. Of the fact that she nearly killed anyone. She felt her stomach lurch at the thought of it.

Taeyeon looked down at her stomach and came to realize as her eyes met with a blue fabric that fully covered her whole body. Her lips unconsciously curled into a small smile, as she had never had any decent clothes before, even though it was a mere casual pajama for patient inside this hospital — Taeyeon was more than happy for having new clothes.

She pulled her shirt up a bit, just to check how her wound progressing. Her skin was bandaged, and there was no more blood in sight.

“Don’t ever try to suddenly move your body. You might open it again.” She glanced when she heard the woman talking and abruptly dragged down her shirt to cover her stomach again. For a moment, she forgot that she had a companion right there.

The woman burst into a laughter when their eyes met, halting herself from cutting the fruit, while Taeyeon waited until she had done laughing. “Why are you doing this to me?” She questioned louder this time.

“Doing what?” The latter finally answered after the moment of silence as her hands expertly cutting the fruit into smaller pieces so she could eat it in one go.

What surprised Taeyeon was, she actually got to receive those pieces of fruit in the end when the latter briefly beckoned her to take it.

She couldn’t help but stare in disbelief; she never experienced being taken care of—of everyone in nice way. Therefore, she didn’t know how to react nor did she understand this whole situation in the first place. “Why are you doing this? To me?”

“You like to ask those same questions again and again, huh?”

Taeyeon didn’t feel like answering it, so she only shrugged and leaned even a back, still examining the fruit inside her palm in confusion.

“I just want to help you. Is that wrong?” She gave off a sincere smile. “And the name is Tiffany.”

She brought her eyes to meet her and hold her gaze in a staring battle. “Listen Tif-fany.” Taeyoen paused while pronouncing her name, noting as the woman before her only smiled even wider, she decided to continue her words of disapproval. “Yes, it is when the one you help was me, a stranger who nearly killed you in process. You could just leave me rotting on that alley or maybe if you are kind enough, you will just kick me inside those rotten cells people called prison after I go out of this place. Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You were not trying to kill anyone, but merely defend yourself.” The latter smiled briefly and Taeyeon creased her brows in muddle. “And trust me. You aren’t going near that place either.”

The lump formed inside and the only word that came off was, “W-why?”

“It’s because,” She watched as Tiffany gave another warm smile. “I trust you. I believe in you.”

“How so? How do you even trust this stranger in the first place?” Taeyeon couldn’t believe her hearing. Is she mad? “I could not even trust myself, my own self! Why are you wasting your time to trust me?!” 

She insentiently balled her fist, making the fruit squirm under her pressure. Her nose flared as she was having a hard time to control her emotions. “If I wasn’t losing my conscious, I would be killing you right away you know that?!”    

“Is that so?”

Taeyeon could feel her jaw dropped as she gestured her to take the knife that once used to peel that apple. “Do you want to kill me right? Go on.”

Taeyeon didn’t react and choose to remain silent with clenched jaws—she looked away when the woman’s face showed nothing but determination. “I know you are a good people.”

“You’re indeed stupid if you ever fall for my act again.” She remarked in between gritted teeth. “Just leave me here and I will pay for my bill with my own.”

“Like what I said earlier, you don’t have to pay but if you insist, you can work for me.”

“Why do you make me go through this?” Taeyeon threw the squished fruit away and glared at her with red eyes. “Why can’t you just leave me?! Why bother to help me?! Just why?!”

She felt the air inside her lungs being out of it as a pair of arms circled on her neck, engulfing her into a warm, gentle hug later on. She cried almost in second and didn’t even know that she could even react this emotional over a simple gesture. 

“I don’t know as well,” The woman whispered back, tightening her grip around but careful enough not to hurt her in any way. “But, when I saw your eyes, it felt like I’ve seen through you. You’re just a good person that have a serious bad luck, Taeyeon.”

“I-I’m bad people…” She sniffed while wailing some more of muffled words, unconsciously gripping her closer as if depending on her with all her life.

“You are not.” The woman sternly remarked back. “Don’t be afraid of what you are. Just embrace your every side, give them some little time. Because nothing is wrong in believing, so just believe in yourself. ”

As much she hated being lost in this situation, she couldn’t deny that she was feeling safe inside her protective arms. As if, she could just live peacefully at the thought of being watched by her. She closed her eyes, letting her tears fall and trailing down on her upward curled lips. She was happy but she cried and she was afraid of it. This woman had made her experience so many feelings that she didn’t even know existed.

“Thank you…” She muttered in low tone, chasing her imperious fears aside as she sluggishly drowning herself in the comfort of this kindhearted person.

She saw lights in the end of her long journey as she had desperately searched for the meaning of her life.   .

She finally able to let her guard down and throw her luck in hoping for a better life once more.

Because when she were ask to what kind of life she would be like to live in different circumstances, all Taeyeon saw was her.

The person who had saved her out of her insecurities in believing her life—herself.  Her savior had opened her eyes to see things differently, in brighter way.

Taeyeon would think that she was indeed her hero, regardless of how everything turned out later.

“Thank you so much, Ti...ffany..”

[A/N]: Inspired by Mariah Carey – Hero.

Enjoy reading everyone! ^^