Chapter 5: Casualties

17th August 2015

“The obsession or consistent thought about the male subject ‘H’ was gone, according to the patient. He no long has the dreams, nor the impulse to read DC comics. It is observed that the patient’s behavior has reverted back to before the accident took place. There would be further observations if requires, for now this is the last session as patient is to be discharged the next day.”

Doctor Kim’s patient journal – Lee DongHae’s record no.20

Finger tapped slowly on the table wooden surface, the small echo created a small rumble across the smooth black water in the white ceramic cup. A dash of white liquid mingled with the ebony color replacing the black with a gentle dark brown. As lips parted and a light sip of fluid flow through and frown formed on the nicely sculpted eyebrows.

“Need sugar.”

“You don’t say.”

A laughed echoed, followed by a screech created from wood coming in contact with the cement ground. White cup was put carefully back down to it respected plate, a spoonful of sugar sprinkled them self into the cup. The new figure stilled being ignore as the spoon circled itself around the cup, following the edges, dissolved the sugar.

Tap tap

Silver spoon touched the table, another sip was taken, this time a nod of approval is seen and a bigger slurp was made. Only then the figure opposite’s existence was acknowledged.

“Yunho”

“DongHae, you know even though the doctor said that you are back to your normal self. Both of us know that’s bull.”

“And being psychoanalyzed everyday will bring my normal self back?”

DongHae chuckled bitterly, he knew that he wasn’t himself the moment he woke up and found himself angry seeing Yunho and his mother instead of feeling happy. He found himself being dissatisfied knowing he had survived instead of thankful. DongHae didn’t understand why, he hated the bed he was lying in; he hated the heart monitor machine and yearned for something archaic. He also felt like something was missing from his side in bed, or more precisely someone.

Looking at the worried expression on his best friend’s face, the same expression worn on Yunho’s the past four months since DongHae had woken up. The worried expression that followed DongHae when he ran down the hallway in search for the familiar pale violet color, or when he held his head tight between his palm lip trembling, biting on each other, teeth trampling against opposite jaw, trying to push out a name that he could remember. As if he saw the name, he saw the letters but he couldn’t make out the words, like they were inked being blurred because a finger swiped across them while the letter were still wet.

But he was better now; at least it was what DongHae kept telling himself every morning he woke up. He would pretend to not see and push the comics with two bold letters inscribed on them to the back of the bookshelf, hid them self behind his usual favorite of John Grisham and Marvels.

         “What really happen?”

Yunho was the only person who didn’t buy into his bull, or maybe it was that others were just too tired of seeing him through the psychiatrist’s comments. They agreed with what they were told and DongHae? He didn’t really care, all it matter to him was he was out of the dark grey four walls and one small window room. His fingers brush through his tangled hair, while his other hand still tapping away on the table, contemplating on whether or not he should tell Yunho everything. Even if himself was unclear of what really happened to him. A few sighs rushed through his lips, mouth opened but no words were spoken. Until another sip of coffee, the bitter liquid seems to give him more courage.

          “I don’t know, I feel like they are dreams but at the same time they are not. All my memories jumbled upon each others, I feel like they were cut into a thousand pieces contradicting each other but at the same time supporting one another.”

A bitter chuckled follow through and another sip was taken.

       “Even now I’m questioning whether or not you are really here.”

DongHae braced himself for a confuse look, for a paranoid expression his parent had worn on the their face when he explained himself. Instead he found a calm expressio