Thankfully I was able to mask my feelings and told her about how I felt for jiyong despite our of our situation. A month later sooyoung was done with the writing and arrangement of the song which she titled "once in a lifetime" (I know she actually wrote 'what do I do' but let's stick to my imagination)during the recording session I started to breakdown towards the end of the song which shocked sooyoung, she asked me what was wrong but since I didn't want anyone to know about our situation I lied and told her I missed jiyong which is partly true

 

Apparently jiyong got way to drunk during one of their after party at Japan that he and kiko accidentally hooked up. I was shocked when he told me and partly glad that he was honest and that I didn't have to hear it from someone else but my jealousy took over me and did not let him explain further during our phone call. Ever Since then we haven't really had any proper conversation it always leads to one of us hanging up on the other. 

 

What made it worse was that kiko called me out of nowhere one night drunk,confessing about her feelings towards jiyong. After that I felt so lost that I asked for a week break and locked myself up in my room at dorm which is where I'm currently residing. 

 

Yesterday early in the morning news were reported about jiyong and kiko, the girls knocked in my room and asked what was going on but all I could do was hide underneath my covers and cry my heart out, since yesterday was my last day of the break I decided to sleep in and not get out like the other days, I received a bunch of phone calls from jiyong but I didn't bother to answer and only turned off my phone. 

 

Today during dance practice for ijwd I kept making mistakes to the point where my knees where badly bruised but I couldn't care less there where much more bigger things in my head that's been bothering me, I barely ate, but then again this days I haven't been eating well so it doesn't really matter anymore 

 

When I got to the dorm no one except taeyeon was home, This past few weeks I've been avoiding taeyeon knowing that if I see her I'll end up breaking down cause she's the only person that can ever make me open up. And that's exactly what's happening I told her everything and I couldn't help but cry as I explained, we were in my room taeyeon on the bed leaning against the wall while I was resting my head on her lap which is now wet with tears 

 

"Fany-ah I know your hurt and all but have you tried listening to jiyongs explanation?" She asked patting my head "I did.....well....not really" I replied sniffing in between "see fany if you don't let him explain you'll never know what really happen and if you keep going on like this your relationship will get damage, imagine being in his shoes right now he too must be having a hard time, I know your upset but fany I can't let this keep going on I want my happy wifey back and plus your boyfriends been on my lately, reporting to him everyday and getting nagged is the worse" taeyeon complained softly hitting the pillow on the side making me chuckle "he's been checking up on me" I asked kind of happy that his still overprotective "of course he is, his been on mine and the managers lately" taeyeon once again crumbled "unnie what should I do, I mean he already apologized it's just my jealousy got over me and kiko confession" I said wiping my tear stained eyes as I got up to lean against the wall next to taeyeon 

 

"Fany-ah it's up to you what you do next, I mean sm gave everyone a month break 'hint hint', and plus don't care about kiko although you guys were friends we both know your better than her and plus your the one jiyong loves not her and what happened was a mistake" taeyeon said with a soft smile 

"Your right unnie and really a break?" I asked to double check "yeah apparently the Kim young min saw how much we've worked and gave us a break" I suddenly got an idea out of nowhere making me get up 

 

"Unnie help me pack I need to go to my jiyong" I screamed from the closet room "finally your back" taeyeon laughed shaking her head "unnie would he like it if I surprise him?" I asked folding my clothes into the suitcase "of course, I bet you he'll love it,what's your plan anyway" she asked 

 

"Secret unnie" I smile cheekily as I continued packing