A/N: Prompt from a friend: friends to lovers dynamic, without them being famous, from Yunho's perspective.

 

 

LOVE BURSTS IN, AND SUDDENLY

 

Yunho pulled out his phone, scrolling through random apps while he waited for the call to come in. It didn't really matter if he received it or not tonight, in particular; the Kims were getting in past midnight, and Jaejoong would want to crash as soon as he was home, knowing him. Vacations were exhausting enough on their own, never mind adding a boatload of sisters into the mix. Jaejoong was hyper enough to match them, but he didn't sleep well away from home, and after a whole week of being away from his bed, he was probably feeling it. He was most likely dozing off in the car right that moment, judging by the fact that he wasn't texting Yunho as he normally would.

 

 

Yunho threw his phone aside. No point in dwelling on it. He missed Jaejoong-- in fact, he wasn't sure how to function without him there, that was how long they had been friends with each other-- but he would see him tomorrow. Things would go back to normal. Normal perhaps not being quite the right word. Something was different, or was in the process of becoming so. He wasn't sure what, but he recognized the environment around him to the point where he noticed when it shifted.

 

 

He rested on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He should be out doing something like a normal eighteen year old on a Friday night, but didn't honestly feel like it. He wanted to sleep more than anything. The sooner he slept, the sooner he could wake up to tomorrow. Never mind the fact that the hours would pass the same rate they always did, whether he was awake or asleep. They would feel faster. That was what mattered.

 

 

Ten minutes past twelve, his phone finally buzzed. “Hey,” Jaejoong mumbled on the other line. “Made it.”

 

 

“Great.” Yunho smiled, wider than he thought he would. They were in the same city again; something about that thought made him relax more than he'd been over the past seven days. “Now go to sleep.”

 

 

“Don't want to talk to me?”

 

 

“I'll talk to you tomorrow when you're awake. See you then?”

 

 

“Huh. I was used to hearing it all the time that it seems a little novel now.”

 

 

“What does?”

 

 

“Your voice.”

 

 

“You forgot it so quickly?”

 

 

“Never. Just noting that it's nice to hear it again.” Yunho could hear a yawn mixed with the last few words.

 

 

“Go to bed.”

 

 

“Yes, boss.” He lingered on the line a little longer. “Tomorrow, right?”

 

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

0o0

 

Of course, he wound up showing up too early while Jaejoong was still asleep. Everyone was asleep, in fact, except for his parents. They treated him to coffee in the kitchen, along with some bread they'd picked up from the French bakery that morning. It was so warm and delicious that Yunho wanted Jaejoong to have some right away, before it cooled. The Kims helped him set some up on a tray with some morning coffee to take up to Jaejoong.

 

 

“He probably won't mind being woken up, if it's you,” Mrs. Kim said. Yunho wasn't sure, but he would still use it as an excuse to go upstairs and see Jaejoong.

 

 

To his surprise, Jaejoong was dressed in his day clothes when he arrived to his room, though he was asleep and slumped against the headboard of his bed, his mouth partially dangling open. His cell phone was resting against his hand, and Yunho looked down at it. A long string of alarms were set, all of them with some message or another about needing to get up since Yunho was coming. Judging by the fact he was dressed, he'd paid attention to the first one, but had managed to fall back asleep anyways.

 

 

Yunho set down his tray. The next alarm was set for two minutes for now, and he could wait for that to get Jaejoong out of dreamland. Sleeping Jaejoong made for a nice study, anyways,even with his unusual posture. His hair had gotten longer since he'd left, and he'd probably cut it soon. It was a shame, really. Yunho liked the longer length on him. Jaejoong was intriguing mix of attitudes-- flirtatious like a girl, fit like a man, teasing, stubborn, catty, and slightly immature-- and though Yunho liked the strong sides of him, he liked the soft contrast of long black hair against his pale skin. It made him look a bit like Snow White-- or perhaps Sleeping Beauty would be the more appropriate name, on this occasion.

 

 

He was handsome like this, with a hint of pretty; the thought needled Yunho for a moment, being that this was his best friend and all, but it was what it was. It was true, no reason for worry. Jaejoong was, and had always been, a beautiful person. Yunho was just noticing it more. Or maybe Jaejoong was becoming more lovely with time. Probably both. He accepted that it was likely both were true.

 

 

The next alarm went off and Jaejoong mumbled in confusion. He rubbed his eyes and eventually cracked them open, groping for his cell phone.

 

 

“Good morning, Jaejoong,” Yunho said.

 

 

“Eh? Yunho?” Jaejoong shut off his phone and reoriented himself. “Ah, I fell asleep, didn't I?”

 

 

“You did.”

 

 

“Can you... pretend like you didn't see that, or something?” he straightened his clothes. “I was going to wake up early, and everything.”

 

 

“You didn't have to.”

 

 

“But I wanted to.” He smacked his lips, blinking his eyes a few more times to wake himself up. “Is that coffee I smell?”

 

 

“And bread. Help yourself.”

 

 

“Don't mind if I do...” He leaned forward to grab for the tray, exposing the tufts of his hair that had become ruffled after falling asleep. Yunho reached to smooth them down, absently.

 

 

Jaejoong grabbed the tray, but raised his eyes to Yunho, lifting an eyebrow. “Bed head,” Yunho explained.

 

 

“Ah...” Jaejoong drew back, setting his tray on his lap. Yunho noticed his cheeks were a little pink. When had that started?

 

 

“How was your trip?” he asked instead.

 

 

“Interesting. Never a dull moment with my family. You'd think the part where we went on a temple stay would have been more relaxing...”

 

 

Yunho laughed. “I can imagine.”

 

 

“Still, it was good. A little time for self-reflection is nice.” He bit into the bread, a smile lighting up his features. “It would have been better if you were there.”

 

 

“I don't know. I've been doing self-reflection of my own, here.”

 

 

“Have you?”

 

 

“Well, what else was I supposed to do while you were gone?”

 

 

Jaejoong couldn't help looking somewhat flattered. “A social butterfly like you? I can hardly imagine.”

 

 

Yunho had wondered about that, too. His friends had called plenty, and he'd done his share of hanging out. Mostly with Changmin who he could simply be around without any extra efforts, but there had been more demanding friends as well, shopping trips and BBQ runs. He didn't remember them well, though. They hadn't been as interesting as they normally were. His mind had been elsewhere. On self-reflection, apparently.

 

 

“I'm glad you're back,” he said, patting Jaejoong's knee. That, at least, seemed to sum up everything.

 

 

“I'm glad you're glad.”

 

0o0

 

Something was definitely different. But at the same time, there was no huge change. They hung out like they always did, they talked like always, in between seeing each other they played with their separate friends, and when they came back to each other, it was the same easy comfort of being with the best friend, the most beloved one. Jaejoong was lovelier, he was fine with admitting that now, but he was the same Jaejoong he always was, at his heart. But he saw him differently, somehow. He was looking at the same person, but his eyes seemed to be looking harder, seeing more, staying on him longer.

 

 

It didn't feel like he thought it might. There wasn't a thunderclap or a dramatic revelation of you know, I just might like this person more than I thought I did, no fireworks and strangely no anxiety, though he knew he absolutely should be feeling plenty considering Jaejoong was his best friend, a man, and pretty much forbidden with a capital F in the kind of environment they were in. But somehow, on top of all that, it seemed like the natural course of things. They'd been friends since they were three, after he'd somehow gotten it in his head to start weaving dandelions into a sleeping Jaejoong's hair in the park when their mothers had been distracted, and they'd been together ever since. Sharing coloring books and juice and gummies, riding bikes, taking baths, joining sports teams together. Jaejoong had even been his first kiss after Yoochun had suggested a round of the king game during Yunho's thirteenth birthday and thought it would be funny to initiate Yunho into the world of romance through commanding kisses of the participants. He'd never really thought about it, but that kiss had been more memorable than any with the subsequent high school girlfriend. He still remembered that Jaejoong tasted like hard candy, probably because he'd been binging on them from the candy dish before they'd started playing that silly game, but he couldn't say he remembered a particular taste to any other kiss in his life. They were just kisses. And the addition of the just part should have clued him in earlier.

 

 

But now when he looked at Jaejoong, there was that difference. He wanted to do things together with him still, but he wanted them to be different things. He wanted things to stay the same-- the togetherness part, the comfort, the naturalness-- but wanted things to also change to accept his new awareness of Jaejoong.

 

 

It was a dream, he was sure. As much as Yunho felt he could be comfortable doing anything with Jaejoong, he was pretty sure that changing nothing and everything was something you simply couldn't do.

 

0o0

 

“Let me look at your notes,” Yunho said leaning against Jaejoong's shoulder during chemistry. The notes may or may not have been an excuse to achieve that end. “I wasn't paying attention during class.”

 

 

“I noticed. You were doodling on my hand.” He lifted it up, displaying Yunho's art. “What is this, anyways?”

 

 

“They're puppies.”

 

 

“These? These are puppies?” He looked down at it and burst out laughing. “Wow... they're great.”

 

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

“Have I mentioned I like it when you're not good at something? You're too perfect all the time.”

 

 

“Me?”

 

 

“You.” He linked arms with Yunho, and Yunho felt it a little more than he was used to. “You can't have my notes.”

 

 

“Why not?”

 

 

“Look at them for yourself.”

 

 

Yunho glanced over. Only the first few lines were about chemical compounds. The rest were song lyrics. You know, never in my life have I been able to smile so much/I'm sure I've been walking on a path all full of my mistakes/all by myself, just for this day...

 

 

“Did you write this?”

 

 

“I heard it on TV last night.”

 

 

“It's nice.”

 

 

“So are you when you're complimenting me.”

 

 

“You didn't write it, though, so wasn't I complimenting the songwriter?”

 

 

Jaejoong pouted. The thought of I want to kiss him crossed Yunho's mind, but it wasn't like he could. The teacher was still there, as were their classmates. Yunho wasn't really interested in causing a scene, so he just looked at Jaejoong instead. It seemed unfair that he'd tasted those lips before, but had been unable to appreciate them fully then.

 

 

“Excuse me.” One of their classmates, a girl whose name escaped Yunho at the moment, had approached their table. “Yunho oppa, may I talk to you for a moment?” She looked nervous.

 

 

Yunho groaned inwardly. This could be her wanting to confess to him, which didn't suit the timing at all, given what was going on with him internally with Jaejoong. Or it could be her wanting to pass a confession on to Jaejoong, which happened from time to time, especially since most people had a hard time finding Jaejoong on his own when he wasn't with Yunho. Or it could be someone wanting to do the same but with Changmin or Yoochun or Junsu or Donghae or one of his many other friends, which was even more annoying, since they'd gladly deal with the confession themselves.

 

 

Yunho made to stand up, but Jaejoong held tightly to his arm refusing to let go. Now this is new. Of course, dealing with confessions targeted towards him was new in general, given that it hadn't been that long since he'd shed hisgirlfriend following her weird jealous tirade over all his friends-- namely Jaejoong, Heechul, and a previously long haired Yoochun-- looking like girls. He hadn't thought Jaejoong would be bothered by it, but now that he reflected on it, he realized that out of all his friends, Jaejoong had been the only one to hate the girlfriend. Maybe that hadn't been just one of those things.

 

 

He sat down again. “I'm sorry,” he said. “Now's not a good time.”

 

 

“When will be?”

 

 

“I...” He looked down at Jaejoong. His eyes were strange, as if trying to tell him, but at the same time not. Like a message was there that he was holding himself back from conveying. “Well...”

 

 

He didn't answer, because at the moment Jaejoong was the greater marvel. Or in truth, it was that he always was, and now that Yunho knew that, he couldn't simply allow himself to be led into another half hearted relationship that wasn't anything deep or fitting like this.

 

 

“Whatever,” the girl snapped, turning away. She'd get over him quickly, Yunho thought. You wanted to be the center of whoever it was you loved. You wanted to be looked at just like Jaejoong was looking at him right now.

 

 

0o0

 

 

“You missed me when I went away, right?” Jaejoong asked, dangling off his bed.

 

 

“Didn't I say so?” Yunho tossed a shirt over at him. “Put this on.”

 

 

“God, no. It's like five billion degrees right now.” He tossed the shirt back, and it landed on Yunho's head. Jaejoong giggled as if this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. “My clothing rack!”

 

 

“Har har.”

 

 

“What? You've seen me before, my bare chest isn't going to kill you. Or maybe it will, who knows, I've gotten pretty lethal, don't you think?”

 

 

“When do you even work out?”

 

 

“When you're not around.”

 

 

“When am I not around?”

 

 

“That's actually what I was talking about before you started being a prude. Don't you think we should go to university together?”

 

 

“It depends on our test results, doesn't it?”

 

 

“We're on the same level, I think. It shouldn't be too difficult for us. We're not doing anything vocational, so we can go to a general university.”

 

 

“Do you think the two of us should room together?”

 

 

“I don't see why not. You practically live here.”

 

 

Yeah, but if it was full time, I might do stuff... Jaejoong was practically a nudist when he was at home in his room, living with that could get complicated.

 

 

But only if we keep the way we are... things could keep shifting...

 

 

Jaejoong noticed his silence and crept off the bed. “What are you thinking?”

 

 

“You want to know?”

 

 

“Yes, actually.” He pulled the t-shirt off of Yunho's head. “You usually tell me everything.”

 

 

“Hmmm.” He wrapped his arms around Jaejoong's shoulders. This was usually a soothing gesture, but right now Jaejoong was too shirtless to make it feel like something done in innocence. “No matter what I do, will you always be able to be comfortable with me?”

 

 

“You could be a little bit more specific. If you're planning on running away to another country for university, I can't say I'd be too comfortable with that. But...” He turned to Yunho. His lips were so close. They wouldn't taste like hard candy now, the last thing Jaejoong had eaten was a powdered donut, the evidence of which was still sprinkled into the slight crevice at the corner of his lips. He wondered. He wondered what it would be like now, if it would be different tomorrow or the day after. If he would be able to shatter everything and change everything between them to reflect that difference, if it would be shattering at all, or just a reformation of what was already there.

 

 

Jaejoong's dog Vick starting howling on the other side of the door. “Oh, not now,” Jaejoong said crossly.

 

 

Yunho wasn't bothered. Whether it was now or later, something had been set in motion. You couldn't stop the world from changing; things were always moving forward whether you wanted them to or not. And he felt like he definitely wanted this, as complicated as it was. It was happening, regardless; it was an impulse of his own heart, a desire, a natural reaction to the person in front of him. There was nothing to do but accept it, to accept that this was his heart, this was what his world was becoming.

 

 

0o0

 

Jaejoong was a bit skittish in school, after that. Whenever Yunho spoke, he acted like he would jump out of his skin, and it seemed like he could barely look at Yunho without his face turning red. Apparently Vick's interruption had bothered him. Just because Yunho hadn't been terribly anxious over the newfound difference in their relationship, didn't mean Jaejoong felt the same. He probably should have realized. Jaejoong was a person of moods. Happiness, sadness, anger, desire-- all struck him visibly and stood out in his expression. He probably had no idea what to make of Yunho's more internalized reaction, his presumed poker face.

 

 

So when Jaejoong wouldn't meet his eyes throughout lunch, he pulled him outside to the track field bleachers. It was too hot out, to the point where it would be unsafe to run, so none of the athletes were out. The bleachers felt like a hot plate to sit down on, but he resigned himself to it, anyways. He knew Jaejoong wouldn't talk to him properly unless they were alone.

 

 

“Something wrong?” he asked.

 

 

“Yeah, actually. You're wrong.”

 

 

“Me?”

 

 

“You've been... different, recently. And because you haven't said why, I've been thinking...”

 

 

“Thinking...?”

 

 

“That maybe all this putting pressure on you, about university and trying to get you to not listen to that girl's confession, maybe that is making you realize that you don't want to be with me after all-”

 

 

Yunho stared at him. Really, this guy, what does a guy like this, this beautiful, amazing person have to be this insecure about?

 

 

Jaejoong had misunderstood him, and he didn't know how to put that misunderstanding to right in words. Words came from thoughts, and he didn't really have thoughts of what was happening to him, to them, just a distinct understanding that their friendship had shifted into something else, that Jaejoong had shifted in his eyes, that there were really no words that could sum up every little individual thing that had undergone a change and led to this, just that things had changed, that what he wanted from their relationship had changed most of all. Jaejoong probably felt that himself, but he didn't know how to express it either. He saw the change and panicked, thinking that because things weren't what they were, Yunho no longer held him as special anymore, when that couldn't be further from the truth.

 

 

“What I'm trying to say is-” He his lips nervously, making Yunho stare at them more than he had. I want to kiss him, he thought again. And though thoughts could become words, it was easier for them to become desires, and for desires to become actions. He leaned forward, catching Jaejoong's chin with his fingers.

 

 

Perhaps it wasn't in the nature of a kiss to feel the same every time, but this one was different from the first one they shared, years ago. It wasn't that Jaejoong tasted differently, which he did, but that he felt it differently. He was aware of Jaejoong grabbing onto his arms, most likely in shock than anything else, and then his grip little by little relaxing. He felt the kiss being returned, and the acknowledgment of what that meant.

 

 

He pulled away, still touching Jaejoong's face. Jaejoong was a little bit glassy eyed, as if Yunho's kiss had somehow put a spell over him, or maybe it was simple disbelief. He hoped Jaejoong could believe in it. He hoped he could understand that he was truly wanted.

 

 

In case, he said it out loud. “I want to be with you.”

 

 

“This... this was what was wrong with you?”

 

 

“Wrong?”

 

 

“Oh. No, no. Not wrong.” He laughed anxiously. “You... we... aren't wrong.”

 

 

This time he was the one who kissed Yunho, his lips hungry from having waited, maybe-- Yunho didn't know how long, longer then him, possibly, but any time waiting for love was too long in its way-- or maybe because this was too slow, kissing to affirm one another rather than from simple passion. But this was a necessary step, a bridge they had to cross to become what they were trying to become. They would ideally have time for passion later. Endless time. An eternity.

 

 

Yunho gently held Jaejoong's face as he pulled away. “Okay?” he asked, feeling the wild pulse underneath his fingers.

 

 

“Yes,” Jaejoong whispered, finally smiling. “Perfect.”

 

0o0

 

Things changed after that. It was inevitable; love was too transformative an emotion to keep even the longest friendship in its old terms, especially when becoming lovers and everything that entailed. Jaejoong was still Jaejoong, but he represented something different. There were different connotations to his words, different meaning to his smiles, different conclusions to the time to the time spent together. There was certainly no more you've seen me before, so my bare chest won't kill you. They were still comfortable with each other, but it was comfort that could still be laced with desire. He ached for Jaejoong in ways he hadn't before; the comfort just made it easier to act on them without worries that Jaejoong would hate him for it, that it was something he shouldn't feel.

 

 

Yunho felt his leg falling asleep, and glanced down at Jaejoong's head resting on his thigh. “Hey, I think I might need to move,” he said softly. No answer. He leaned forward. Jaejoong's eyes were closed, his face relaxed. Asleep, then. He couldn't say this was terribly convenient-- they had only stopped out on the university green to eat lunch before their next class, which was in about fifteen minutes-- but convenience had never been one of Jaejoong's charms. He would be impossible to wake up, not because he was a heavy sleeper, but because Yunho had always hated disturbing him.

 

 

He picked a yellow dandelion from the green and, smiling devilishly, braided it into Jaejoong's hair. He still looked so good this way, so indisputably beautiful.

 

 

Some things, at least, never changed.