Genre: Still don't know what this is. Fluff? Jicheol with a dash of Soonhoon because I'm trash like that.

Can you distinguish between loving someone and being in love?

To Jihoon, there was loving someone and there was being in love with someone.

First there was Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung was easy to like, easy to admire, and was debatably even easier to love. Soonyoung was bright and cheerful, he was the ray of light on a gloomy day; an overall fun guy to be around, reliable and safe. Soonyoung was one of those talents that bloomed into success due to continuous practice and hard work, a professional at work with a mind-set to learn and to improve. 

Their relationship, like many others, wasn’t always smooth sailing and rose-covered road. They clashed and they fought, Jihoon himself losing count of the many times stress turned hushed words into spitting screams and the dorm became a battle field, only ending with desperate shouts, frustrated tears and slamming doors. 

But they understood each other and cared for each other. Soonyoung would always watch over Jihoon even from a distant, worrying over him in the smallest gestures, while Jihoon would look at Soonyoung from times to times with admiration in his eyes and happiness curling in his chest as the other laughed, danced and sung to his heart’s content. And in the end of the day, they always came back to each other’s side with fumbling apologies and assuring pats on the other’s back, and they were happy. 

And then there was Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol who was his first kiss and also his best friend. The older had been with him for years, Jihoon could say Seungcheol knew him more than himself sometimes. Seungcheol was the leader, but he respected Jihoon just as much as how the younger respected him. He was calm and affectionate, out-going and sincere with bright eyes carrying rainbows of emotions. Seungcheol carried himself with such pride and power, an air of his own making no one could ever imitate. 

But Seungcheol wasn’t his perfect piece of puzzle. They were different, in so many aspects. Under the weight of enormous responsibilities, Seungcheol struggled to become the much-needed leader while Jihoon coddled back to his shell. Jihoon bottled up his feelings while Seungcheol pushed them aside, both shouldering burdens unspoken to the other, drifting apart as the world changed rapidly around them without one another as anchor. 

They would have stayed like that if not for that fateful confession, Jihoon finally breaking out of his shell with a turmoil of unexplainable emotions in his chest, a mixture of overwhelming sadness, utter relief and most prominent of all was the burning yearn for love. They hugged, Seungcheol’s unseen tears seeping through the fabric of his shirt, warm as the summer morning when they first met and Jihoon felt like they were back before the debut preparations; a little more than friends but still a fraction less than lovers. After that, one time when the sun fell back to peaceful slumber and the sky was a canvas of jet black velvet with specks of star dusting all over, Jihoon found himself between Seungcheol’s comforting arms and in the darkness they talked. They talked about the past, from straining trainee days to stressful concert preparations; they talked about themselves, about insecurities and responsibilities. But most of all, they talked about the future, about being together, about love, and Jihoon realised he did not need a perfect match after all. 

Because as long as it was Seungcheol and they were together, Jihoon was certain they could make the most beautiful picture out of broken puzzle pieces. 

To Jihoon, there was loving someone and there was being in love.

And it took him a long time to differentiate them, but as Jihoon took Seungcheol’s hand in his left and Soonyoung’s hand in his right and bowed down to the cheering crowd, heart racing with joy and contentment, he finally understood the difference. 

Jihoon loved Soonyoung, that was for sure. He wished for his happiness, for his success, and Jihoon would continue to wish Soonyoung all his best even though Jihoon knew he could not be the one who would bring them to him. 

But Jihoon was in love with Seungcheol. And while others said they were the same thing, Jihoon knew they weren’t, and he was alright with that.