You squint your eyes as you watch the sunrise, resting your chin on your hand as your prop your elbow on the table. You were sat out on the balcony that connected to your bedroom; this was one of the reasons you bought this place with Sehun- the view. You could see all of the twinkling lights of Seoul from here, you felt like you were in the middle of the crowds and yet so far away perched above it all. You and Sehun would have midnight picnics up here every night when you’d first moved in. You’d both watch the stars as you curled up in his arms, munching on your cheese sandwiches and laugh as you’d throw your crusts down at drunken passers by coming back from clubs; watching their confused faces and accusing each other on ‘holding out on the goodies’. It was a cute little tradition that carried on once a week as time went on, for you to catch up after the busy week when you’d barely manage to spare a few words to each other in passing. You sighed and stirred your coffee, taking a sip and closing your eyes, feeling the early morning breeze against your face.

You hadn’t sat up all night for a long time; no matter how many times you used to pull all nighters for university, you still couldn’t get the gist of using make-up to conceal evidence of sleep deprivation; and now you’d have to master such a skill. Not only for the dark circles under your eyes but for the yellowish sheen to your cheekbone. You wince as you brush your fingers along your face lightly, feeling the tightening skin over swelling muscle. Did you push him or was he always capable to doing such a thing? Well… I guess we’re all capable, but hurting someone you’re meant to love? Well, you had experience of that from your last boyfriend. That’s what hurt equally as much as the cheating. He knew what you’d been through with him. The way he’d hit you whenever you did any small thing that would irritate him. You thought you were passed this, but it’d come all back.

You feel a pang in your chest and hunch your shoulders over your coffee and resting your forearms on the table. You weren’t in the wrong here. Sure, maybe your reaction was outlandish but after seeing that photo… You couldn’t control your anger and hurt. Every time you closed your eyes you’d see his lips against hers, her fingers in his hair, his hands under her skirt. It made you feel ill. It takes a tear splashing into your drink before you realise you’re crying again.

You stand up, open the sliding glass doors and drag your feet to the ensuite. 'Oh dear.’ You think as you look into the mirror. You didn’t recognise yourself, a shell of who you once were- was it really only hours ago that you were blissfully unaware of any strains on your relationship? How could your soul manage to void your body in such a short space of time? Your eyes were hollow, your cheekbone shining with hues of yellow and purple, your lips chapped from the nights wind and dried tears stained your face. You splash water in your face and start the task of covering up the bruise, to no avail. It was hours before you looked remotely presentable and yet the stubborn bruise still showed through and all you could think of doing was wearing Sehun’s stupid diva sunglasses. Stupid Sehun.

You needed to see him. You knew he was wrong, you knew he was stupid, but you also knew that he’d self-destruct over what he did to you, and you couldn’t let him do that. You needed to apologise for what you said- even if he did deserve it, it was partly what made him snap, and you needed to hear what he had to say for himself. You plucked up your courage and go changed into clean clothes and started the long walk to the dorms.

It was 8ish when you left your flat and around 10 when you finally arrived. You didn’t mind. The cool spring fresh air woke you up and helped you think clearly. You shuffled on the doorstep, mentally preparing yourself for whomever opened the door before ringing the bell. After a few moments you heard shuffling, the tones of a keypad being pressed and a click as the door opened. Luhan appeared, sipping a glass of orange juice as he peered around the door. He smiled as you looked up a you, opening his mouth to speak, then double taking and widening his eyes. His smile fell and he stepped aside and let you come through.

“Y/N… So that’s why he’s here.” He mumbled quietly, putting the glass on a nearby shelf before pulling you into his arms. You hugged him back and shut your eyes.

Luhan was always sweet to you, you’d gotten close when you and Sehun first started dating. He’d taken over a sort of brotherly role where you were concerned and always scolded Sehun for not treating you the way you deserved. You always thought it was just banter, now you weren’t so sure. You pulled back slightly as Luhan lifted your chin and inspected your cheekbone, tilting your face to get a closer look. He tutted and looked into your eyes- his stare sullen.

“Why did he do this?” You look down at your feet with shame. He drops his arms and leads your over to the kitchen as you explain quietly.

“I found out he was doing something, I got angry and said something that I shouldn’t have.” You sit on a barstool at the kitchen island as Luhan pours you an orange juice. You sip it and smile graciously.

“It’s no excuse. What kind of a man does this to a woman he loves?” Luhan shakes his head as he sits opposite you. You shrug. You had asked yourself the same question all night. He sighs again and stares at your cheek in silence for a few minutes.

“I suppose you want to speak to him?” You nod. Luhan gestures towards the spare room and you look at him questioningly.

“He’s keeping an eye on Baekhyun. He got ill a couple of days ago and we’d all been taking turns to make sure he stays in bed. Since Sehun turned up last night, it’s his turn.” He states tiredly, rubbing his eyes and finishing his drink.

“I’ll wait out here, if you need me just shout.” You smile at him weakly and whisper a thank you as you walk over to the spare room. You knock on the door and hear a voice.

“Come in.” It says groggily.

You gulp and open the door slowly. Your eyes meet with Sehun’s and he tilts his head for you to come inside. You don’t miss how he subtly flinches when he sees your face as you step inside and shut the door behind you. He’s laying on the bed with Baekhyun sound asleep next to him, their legs tangled together. You quirk an eyebrow at their legs and back up to his face as you take a seat on the chair near the bed.

“It’s the only way to make sure he doesn’t try to sneak out in the night.” He says, staring at the ceiling, avoiding your eyes. You nod and stare at your sleeves, playing with the loose thread as a silent tension fills the room. You stay like this for around 10 minutes before Sehun speaks up.

“You don’t know what it’s like, you know- having thousands of fans wanting your attention.” Your head snaps up and you shoot him an accusing glare.

“Are you kidding me? That’s how you’re going to play this?” You say, dangerously calm. He sighs and looks at you.

“We never talk anymore, you never spend time with me.” You shake your head in disbelief.

“So what, because you finally get home I’m meant to drop everything and fawn over you or you’ll latch yourself onto the nearest girl that asks for your photo? I have a life too, Sehun.” You raise your voice and make Baekhyun stir. You both watch him for a minute, waiting for him to settle. Sehun clenches his jaw.

“I’m not saying that you don’t. I just want it to be like it used to be. When we had time for each other and didn’t have to force each others company on the other.”

“No one’s forcing you, Sehun.” He rolls his eyes at your comment and looks at you.

“I’m sorry, okay? I just tried to pretend like it didn’t happen. If I could just forget it’d be fine, it didn’t mean anything.” He grimaces.

“If it didn’t mean anything, why didn’t you tell me?” You look down, processing what he said.

“She’s right, you know.” Baekhyun opens his eyes and stares at Sehun, who swiftly stands up and pushes him out of the room, mumbling a quick 'This doesn’t concern you’ before slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the loud noise as Sehun runs his hands through his hair. He notices and sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Whatever I’ve said or done, nothing I can do or say can excuse what I’ve done to you.” He points at your face, tears in his eyes. You bit your lip, fighting the urge to go over and wipe them away and hold him.

“No it doesn’t. But I have to something I need to say.” You say, exhaling softly- suppressing a yawn. His eyes flicker up to yours.

“I’m sorry for what I said, I don’t really think that of you.” You keep your gaze steady as you wait for his reaction. He grimaces, shaking his head as he looks up at the ceiling.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Why would you even say that? You’re too kind to think of apologising to someone after they’ve done this to you. Is that why you’ve come? To apologise to me?!” He asks incredulously. You huff and look up at him.

“Would you just accept my bloody apology already? How can we ever start moving on from this if we can’t even attempt to forgive each other?” You raise your voice again and put your face in your hands from frustration and embarrassment. He sits in silence, blinking at you while he lets what you said sink it. A shuffling noise reaches your ears as he drops to his knees in front of you and touches your hand. You flinch and back up in the chair. He lowers his hand onto his lap and speaks quietly looking down.

“I’m so sorry for hitting you, Y/N. I promised myself I’d never do what your ex did to you, and now look where we are.” A tear lands on his hand. You carefully place your fingers under his chin and make him look at you.

“You have one last chance. If you ever do this again, I’m leaving you. We will work passed this, but I have two conditions.” He looks into your eyes like he’s about to crumble any second.

“Anything.”

“You tell me everything. Everything that happened with that girl and then we’ll never speak of it again. Second, you talk to someone about lashing out." 

He closes his eyes and nods, letting another tear roll down his cheek. His face crumples up as he starts crying, you pull him into your chest and hold him close. He mumbles incoherently about how sorry he is, over and over again. You shh him and his hair.

"It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”