“Aahhhhh,” I sigh lazily as I lay down in my comfortable bed after taking a long hot shower. I am so spent from all the travelling in Japan from Tokyo to Nagoya to Kyoto in three days. Not only am I physically drained but also mentally and emotionally exhausted. I have never felt so high like riding on an emotional roller-coaster these three days as compared to my whole 23 years. 

“Hahaha kumanne Bbosongie, Nanan-a,”” I giggle as both my kids are my feet getting my attention. “Miyyanae, omma is very tired. I will play with you later, okay,” I plead with them to let me rest and get myself together again. 

As I close my eyes slowly, my mind wanders back to the recent Japanese (romantic?) escapade and my lips break into a smile automatically. Aaahhh JongHyun Oppa, how can I guard my heart when it is already falling aimlessly deeper into you, partly scolding myself for feeling like a young teenager giddy with love.   

I reach for my phone instantly and speed dial her number. Miss A’s Hush suddenly plays on the other side. I sing along to the chorus then I heard her, “Unnniiieeeeeeee,” she screams with a high pitched voice doing what she does best, aegyo. 

“I miss you too,” I chuckle listening to her eager greetings. 

JeongYeon always is the one with the most aegyo between us sisters. “How was it? Did you have a good time? Have you hold hands? Do you like him?” she ask non-stop. 

“Good. Yes. Yes. I think so,” I answer truthfully. 

“Huh what?” she genuinely perplex with my answers.  “What did I ask?” she saya sheepishly. 

“Tesso,” I giggle. “How are you?” I ask wanting to know how she is doing with her own TV program in JPY Sixteen. 

“Owh not as interesting as you being swept away to another country for romantic escapade with a certain hot CNBLUE guitarist, AS A SECOND DATE,” she whines, emphasising the last sentence. 

I try to fill her in on all the things we have done in those magical 2 nights and 3 days retreat. She listens attentively and occasional “really”, “no”, “what”, “oohh” responses to my storytelling. I purposely skip the part where we locked our eyes and I had trouble breathing. Yeah I will keep that secret with me forever. 

“He said ‘yeppo’ ‘yeppo’ all the time but one time in the ferris wheel I really felt his sincerity and somewhat a touch of concern,” I wonder more to myself than to my sister. 

“What did he say unnie,” she whispers curiously. 

“He said that I am pretty and he asked himself why am I pretty to him and…” I trail off. 

“And?” she nudges me to continue. 

“And he said ‘I’ll be in trouble,” I continue. 

“He did?” my sister asks incredulously. 

Even I thought the same thing when he said it. I was surprised he said what he said and thought this is a guy adored and crazed by lots of fans from young girls to old noonas. Always and constantly surrounded by beautiful and y women. How can I, a simple rookie actress, whose neighbour do not know who I am, can create trouble for him. 

“Unnie I think he really likes you and you have shaken his heart. You know Mina the Japanese rookie with me here. She is a huuuuge fan of CNBLUE and she said JongHyun-shi is very straightforward and honest. So he must be saying the truth unnie,” convincing me of this ferris wheel confession. 

Although she doesn’t have to convince me of his sincerity but there is a nagging thought in my mind whether it is real or not. True I have been in a dating scene before and have encountered guys interested in me, but this is of another different level. A dangerous one. And to make it more confusing, we are in a national variety show. 

“Unnie, hello unnie do you hear me?” she asked breaking my reverie. 

“Ooh ohh miyanhae what did you say JungYeon-ie?” I ask sheepishly guilty for lost in thought. 

“Ish chincha unnie, are you really back in Korea or have you left your soul in Japan? Haha” she teases me for being absentminded. 

I quickly filled her in of our time in the Nobanu no sato, confession in the secret garden, rickshaw trip in the streets of Kyoto, and got our first couple items. 

“Wah, you are sooooo blessed unnie, he must have like you so much to bring you to those places” she said in awe. “So….” she asks. 

“So what?”I asked innocently, knowing where this is heading to. 

“So do you like him?” she asks straight to the point. 

“Mmm,” I reply. 

“What mmm means? Mmm I like him, Mmm I think so, Mmm too early to tell, Mmm I don’t like him, Mmm I don’t know, Mmm has a million meaning unnie,” she presses further. 

“Hehehe,” I giggle for her outburst. “I think I am falling for him and am scared. He is so smooth and so direct. He caught me off guard with his bluntness. I mean, nobody will show their real selves chasing a girl and declare their love on national TV right”, showing my worry to her. 

“True unnie but this is not just any ordinary guy. The Lee Jong Hyun I heard from the others is not your typical idol. So you can’t compare him to just anybody. Remember when he was on the show ‘Fluttering India’ he was wearing the traditional India attire to the airport with mismatched shoes and stubble. When Minho-shi pointed it out, he said -I am a FREE MAN-. That shows he does what he wants and do not follow anyone’s rule,” she explains. 

We talk more to catch up on other things that happened while I was away and say our goodbyes with a  promise to meet once we are free from our schedules. 

Remembering our conversations, my mind is more confused than clear. I wanted so bad to spill the secrets to JeongYeon-ie but no matter how bad I wanted to, my lips are sealed to the contract. I have to guard my poor heart because he may say all those things because we are in a virtual marriage, a variety show nonetheless. More importantly we are in a top secret contract which only few top management knows about, not even our friends, not even our family. 

“Be stronger SeungYeon-aa,” I pep talk myself on bed ready to sleep. Sigh, this contract could have been easier if I did it with Henry-Oppa. Be like friends playing husband and wife. Sigghhhh. This contract could have been easier if it is not for JongHyun-Oppa. Siiigghhh. This contract could have been easier if it is not for his penetrating-to-my-soul brown eyes. Siiigghhh. This contract could have been easier if it is not for his smooth-like-chocolate-husky voice. Siigghhh-Siiigghhh. This contract..could have been..easier if..it is not for his…his…his…