The bell just rang not too long ago, signaling the end of the very last lecture of the day. Students were seen clutching onto their backpacks, walking in pairs, if not in groups out of the main entrance of the school. Two students in particular, were grabbing people’s attention towards them. Both were walking out of their class to join the students in the hallway towards the main entrance. One being utterly pretty and the other being a bit taller than most of the students with similar intimidating aura as the current basketball captain. What really made the students turned their heads towards them was that they were talking in a foreign language. The attention to the duo were quickly dismissed when the nearby students figured that they couldn’t comprehend what they were conversing.

Tao cringed once he turned his face from a random girl classmate who stopped and waved them goodbye. Qian ying chuckled upon seeing his reaction.

“What’s with that reaction?”

“You and I both know that I can’t stand people who are loud.” Tao sighed in irritation.

“And Chanyeol?” She fumbled with the files and books on her hand before looking up at him.

“He’s different.” Tao instinctively grabbed the books from her hands and held them with one hand as they walked.
“How so?” She furrowed her eyebrows but quickly replied him with a smile of gratitude.

“Only sometimes, he’s annoyingly loud but that girl is annoyingly loud to no end.”

That girl claimed herself as the class president earlier this semester and no one in class bothered to talk against it. Tao decided it was too troublesome to care and just let her do whatever she wanted. However, he greatly regretted his decision now. She was too loud for her own good and Tao would always shoot menacing glare at her but she was perhaps too dense to notice.
“Can you be less picky?” Qian ying shook her head at her friend who she knew for years now.
“It’s not my problem. Can’t you people live up to my expectation?” Tao shrugged nonchalantly.

“Really now, Tao?” Qian ying giggled a bit, knowing how sensitive Tao was, she decided not to argue and let it pass.

Tao raised his eyebrow. He pushed the door of the main entrance and let her walked through before tailing behind her.

“Is there ever a girl who you find not annoying?” Qian ying tilted her head a little to the side and bit her lower lips for a while.

“Well, my mu-“ Tao moved his gaze away from her and looked afar.
“Excluding her.” Qian ying sighed.
“My grandm-“ Tao smirked.
“Excluding family members. Are they even girls now?” Qian ying folded her arms after tugging on her backpack, knowing all so well that Tao was just fooling around.
“They used to be,” Tao pointed out a fact.

Qian ying rolled her eyes at him before walking a few steps quicker ahead of him.

Tao chuckled at her cute antic before taking two stroll to match her pace.

“Well, there is one.” After a couple second of silence, he responded her question in a serious tone.
“Who?”

Tao just shook his head and was going to respond when he saw a familiar person to his right.

Qian Ying stopped walking as well upon noticing Tao rooted his feet to the ground. She turned to where Tao was looking. Her face was instantly lit up like a Christmas tree. Tao smiled a little at the approaching figure.

“Hey.” Kris nudged his head towards Tao before bending down a bit to give his girlfriend an Eskimo kiss. Squeals could be heard from some students within the vicinity and Kris only smirked at that reaction.

Qian Ying’s face was red by then. She enjoyed the attention Kris gave her but she was still not comfortable with such express in public.

“We are going for cakes. Want to join?” Qian Ying turned to Tao, with Kris standing close behind her.

Tao just shook his head while smiling before bidding goodbye to the couple. Instead of continuing walking, he looked at the gradually disappearing backs of the two. He let out a chuckle before his eyes unveil a glimpse of loneliness and moved his legs to the opposite direction.

He had seen girls with different personality, knew a few of them but he never really get interested enough in any of them to start a relationship. When he looked at his close friends’ girlfriend, he just wasn’t too fond of most of them. Call him picky or whatever, he just couldn’t stand to be with people with characteristic he didn’t like. He was sensitive like that. That also explained why he usually involved in arguments with some members of the group.  Every girl he knew for now seemed to lack in something except for one. One who was too far to be reached.

 

His bestfriend’s girlfriend.

 

Tao had realized his feeling was more than just friendly level a few weeks after they got together. The disappointment of her spending less time with him, the loneliness of eating lunch without her since she would usually spent lunch time with Kris now, the sadness of walking out of campus alone because Kris would usually ‘steal’ her away.

And a certain incident further enhanced his feeling for her. That was the only moment he could hug her and letting his emotion took control just via the hug. He acted more than a best friend would. He was thankful that she didn’t notice anything uncanny for she was too distracted at that time.

Eventhough he was frustrated, he couldn’t do much. How could he compete with his best friend? If he actually thought about it, there was actually no competition to begin with. He was better than him in every way and she obviously adored him as much as he adored her. In terms of affection, he had already lost a whole lot.

He suddenly noticed the weight on his left hand. He was still holding Qian ying books. Instead of letting a sigh, he smiled, knowing that he had a reason to meet her later. He quickly texted her and he was earned with a “Shoot! How can I forget? Meet me later?” text.

Again, a rather rare smile crept up his face. He the screen of his mobile with his thumb before putting it away in his pocket.

He was always careful of masking his emotion when he was with her, giving her enough comfort but nothing too unnecessarily excessive. However, he did have a hunch that Chen knew something about his forbidden feelings. He never confronted him about that though, feeling that things were better left the way it was. And Chen never took the initiative to ask as well. Tao was counting his blessings. Sometimes explanation could aggravate the situation.

 

He reached his car and placed the books and belongings at the back seat before taking off his blazer. He started his car and zoomed out of the parking lot. He decided to stop by the bakery to get her favourite bun, planning to make her stay for a chat to ease the emptiness he was feeling.

He knew this would make it harder to retreat from the battlefield later but he could have care less. The emptiness was just too much for him to handle at times.

He sighed. He would just keep this in heart. Time would wash away forlornness and the affection he shouldn’t have. It might be slow but he was willing to wait until he was prepared to let go. But he knew, in his heart, there would always be a special place for her- his never-begin first love.