ordinary

Is Seoul always this noisy?

It was a very long day, Jiyong had been closing his eyes trying to sleep, unfortunately Seungri was talking too loud behind. He wanted that kid to shut up, but then again, he had no energy left even to just tell him to stop laughing.

How could he have such energy when they practically just landed on Korea half an hour ago? They just had a week Asia tour and they didn’t even have much time for rest. This, Jiyong couldn’t never understand his youngest member’s stamina. Maybe, because he was older, that’s why his body couldn’t bear the exhaustion well.

He was barely sleeping yet he couldn’t understand which topic s talking about. Even Taeyang and Daesung joined Seungri’s laughter. Was it another he got from Japan? Cih, if it was true, he should make sure that Maknae be so careful this time. It was so embarrassing that Bigbang’s maknae was always caught watching those videos. Or maybe was it the party they would have this night? Oh right, it was probably that. Wasn’t they tired? These all were what inside Jiyong’s head even though he wished he could at least take a short nap before reaching home.

“Eh?” was his first expression when he opened his eyes. They weren’t at home, it was YG building that was caught by his vision. He looked around and a confused look was on Taeyang’s face.

“Why?”

“I thought Hyung will send me home,” he said as he looked at the driver seat which had been empty already. Not satisfied with the situation he grabbed his backpack and came out reluctantly.

His chin lifted up, looking at the dark sky above. Was Seoul always this dark? And heavy? He heaved deep.

“But we’re gonna celebrate your birthday, Hyung,” Seungri followed from behind.

They together began walking heading to the entrance door.

“Hadn’t we done it yesterday?”

They did it of course, on the concert. It was a super celebration if people could name. With more than 100.000 people they celebrated Jiyong’s turning age yesterday. It had become like a routine for several years already. They would intentionally schedule one of Bigbang tour on Jiyong’s birthday so they could celebrate and party together with their fans.

“Ey, but it’s only with YG family, Hyung,” Daesung added.

Sighing, Jiyong stopped, “but we did it yesterday, right? Everyone was there.”

“Jiyong-ah, what’s wrong?”

“Aren’t you guys tired?” pouting, he then turned around, “let’s postpone it, I want to just go home. I’m so tired.”

“Seriously, Ji?” Taeyang grabbed his hand, attempting to stop his best friend.

Jiyong turned around, sighing again.

“Hyung what’s wrong?” Daesung’s voice sounded worried.

“I’ll call Eunji to come,” Taeyang said. And it was enough to silence Jiyong. “Let’s go,” he said, pulling Jiyong’s hand. But he didn’t move.

“She won’t come,” quietly he replied.

“Hyung …”

“She’s busy, she won’t come,” he repeated without looking at her members’ eyes. “We stop talking for like, I don’t know, I don’t count. She won’t come, so, forget it. I’m going to go home,” he raised his gaze, pulling back his hand and turned around.

Taeyang tried one more time, but Jiyong was too stubborn. Ignoring s, he caught the first taxi that stopped in front of him.

A weak grin followed when he finally sat inside the taxi. After telling the driver his destination, he tried to close his eyes again.

She won’t come.

No one knew this better than himself. People didn’t even know that they barely talked to each other for time being. What were they now? He wondered.

No, it wasn’t because his scandal with that famous Japanese model, she knew it was false. It wasn’t also because of her dating rumor with Kang Haneul, her drama co-star, he knew it wasn’t true. There was nothing behind this actually. True. And it was the saddest thing, wasn’t it? That without even a problem they stopped talking to each other.

She used to text him a good morning, have you had breakfast or dinner, or what is your schedule today. And as reply he used to call her instead, telling her good morning too, yes I had breakfast or dinner already, or we have to go to Paris or Japan or Hongkong this morning. But then time pushed her to lessen the text and so then his call became rare too, and ended up like this.

He couldn’t blame either her or himself, or even time. No one was at fault, it just happened. And anyone couldn’t stop this.

But then, the question remained. What should he call them now? Were they still a couple? Were they a couple before? A name, why just because he couldn’t name them he felt a pain on his chest? Why just because like that he wanted to run and scream? Why just because this tiny thing he wished he could turn back time and never mistakenly went to her room that day?

And to his worse, memories , pushing him to remember her laugh. His joke wasn’t funny actually, he was surprised as well when she burst into such melodic laugh, repeating multiple times that his joke was so lame and not funny at all. It was though a nice laughter. What a weird girl.

Then he remembered such bad day, a day when he turned crazy because of a bad storm in Seoul. He was outskirt of town when news reported that Seoul couldn’t be accessed that day. People kept telling him that she was fine, everyone was probably safe in their house. But he just couldn’t be sane. They were having a big fight in the morning and thinking it was his punishment Jiyong couldn’t think straight. Not being Kwon Jiyong, he prayed, swallowing his arrogance he weakly asked God to take care of his girl. And when he finally met her after that worst day, he promised to God to be a better man for her.

And was he improving? Probably yes. He lessened his party time, went home more often, spent more time with his family, just like what she always wanted. And when time to return to his old mess, he decided to work instead. Closing his studio for anyone and stayed there for hours. She was right, working was always his passion. And coming back to it seemed so right.

It was good then? Maybe not, at least not the whole things sound right. Look at him now, in the middle of strangely quiet Seoul, inside a random taxi, left out energy, and just by himself. Something was missing, an invisible hole was now decorating his life.

Again, it wasn’t her fault or his either. It just happened and he couldn’t blame anyone for the emptiness inside him.

Weakly pushing his apartment door, he thought it was right to not coming home tonight. He needed to be alone. Even his Mom agreed on this. She knew something had happened, being his mother for ages she surely knew there might big reason why he had been so quiet these days, no need question involved if Jiyong himself didn’t want to spill it.

There then was a pair of sneakers, not his, it was smaller. A smile suddenly appeared on his face. He could feel his blood circulating again, reaching his head, tinting his cheeks. He rose up his chin, like getting extra energy. Yet then his eyes caught another pair or sneakers, again it was smaller, oh, it wa