Note: This occurs after Parts 1 and 2. 

It’s rare that they have the chance to eat together like this, or even stay in the same room together without worrying about where they have to be in a few minutes. Baekhyun supposes that he’s mostly to blame for this. He’s rarely home, spending a lot of time touring after his last comeback in an effort to promote his latest comeback.

Jongdae’s told him many times that he understands, but Baekhyun still feels guilty anyway. He knows what loneliness is like, has felt it even in the presence of thousands of other people. In a way, coming back home means stepping out of the thick walls of defense he’s built around himself. He’s known Jongdae long enough to be assured that Jongdae won’t think of him any less for his moments of weakness.

 It doesn’t help that their schedules are constantly conflicting. Even now, Baekhyun has about four hours here before he has to leave again.

Jongdae places two bowls of noodles on the table carefully, handing Baekhyun a pair of chopsticks as he sits down across from him. “Nice to see you back,” Jongdae says, blowing at his noodles as he grins at Baekhyun. “I thought I’d have to start paying for your presence as well.”

“Maybe it will make you appreciate me more.” Baekhyun smiles back, holding Jongdae’s gaze for a moment. “Your hair wasn’t brown last time I saw you, was it?” He hadn’t had much time to really look at Jongdae; it’s probably been two weeks since he’d sat down across from Jongdae. When he’d first gotten back into the apartment, Jongdae had been cooking, and Baekhyun had been dragging a big suitcase behind him. Baekhyun doesn’t think that Jongdae’s hair has been that particular shade of brown since college.

Jongdae reaches up and touches the top of his head. “I got it dyed last week.” He leans forward, lightly kicking Baekhyun’s foot under the table. “How have you been? Are you eating well?”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun says. He ducks his head and eats a mouthful of noodles to prove his statement. Half of it comes back out of his mouth, though, and he barely manages to choke the rest of it down. Baekhyun grabs a glass of water because that was hot.

Jongdae shakes his head, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he laughs at Baekhyun’s misfortune. “Be careful.”

“I was careful.” Baekhyun sets down the now empty glass, looking at Jongdae as he says, “It was so good that I couldn’t help myself.”

Jongdae looks down, and Baekhyun thinks that his cheeks are a faint pink. “Did they finally teach you how to sweet talk?”

“It’s one of my charms.” Baekhyun holds up two fingers in a V sign before going back to eating his noodles.

It’s amazing, really, that Jongdae still manages to keep up with him so well despite their separate lives. Baekhyun doubts that Jongdae has heard any of his new songs, but he gets texts from Jongdae every day asking if he’s eaten and if he’s slept well.

And as much as Baekhyun likes to talk, he enjoys the lapses of silence from time to time. There had been a time when he would cut the rests too short, jumping into the next verse of the song. By now, though, he’s learned to take the breaks of silence as part of the music, a short breath before the melody continues. Jongdae understands this, so when Baekhyun focuses on eating, he doesn’t say anything, waiting for Baekhyun to finish.

“Let me help you,” Baekhyun says, jumping up when he’s finished.

Jongdae looks surprised, and Baekhyun briefly wonders why—if it’s because of his offer, or if it’s because he started talking so suddenly. He scoots over, making room for Baekhyun in their tiny kitchen.

Even with just the two of them, the kitchen feels crowded. Their elbows keep bumping each time one of them moves. They end up splashing water over the counter, and Baekhyun blows a bubble with the soap, laughing as it pops in Jongdae’s face.

“What are you, five?” Jongdae wipes his face with his sleeve, then cups his hands under the faucet and splashes the water at Baekhyun. “Got you.” There’s a challenge in his eyes, an open invitation to a full water fight.

Baekhyun fakes a move forward, and Jongdae stumbles into the counter behind them, nearly crashing the back of his head against a cabinet. “Careful.” Baekhyun reaches out to steady Jongdae, flicking a few beads of water off the tips of his fingers when Jongdae regains his balance. “Don’t start battles you can’t win.”

“You got me wet too,” Jongdae says, pushing Baekhyun away and turning off the faucet.

Baekhyun steps out of the kitchen, pulling his shirt over his head. It’s completely soaked, making it uncomfortable to move around in. He meets Jongdae’s eyes as he does so, noticing how Jongdae’s eyes seem to widen for a moment.  

“Did they teach you that trick, too?” Jongdae asks, wiping his hands on a dishcloth. “It’s a shame that there’s nothing to see.”

Baekhyun throws his shirt at Jongdae, almost regretting his decision when Jongdae catches it easily. The air conditioning is uncomfortably cool against his skin; Jongdae’s always liked having it as low as possible during the summer. It makes the electricity bills incredibly high for several months, so it feels like winter in their apartment almost year round.

Jongdae walks past him to throw the shirt into the laundry room. He takes one of his T-shirts out of the closet, handing it to Baekhyun. “Here, put this on. I don’t want to be responsible for making our superstar sick.”

“Thanks.” The shirt is well worn but soft, and it smells like Jongdae. It’s a little too loose around Baekhyun, something that Jongdae notices if his contemplative frown is anything to go by.

He doesn’t comment on it, though, instead taking Baekhyun’s hand and leading him to his bedroom. “You don’t have to leave until five, right? You should get some sleep.”

Baekhyun sits down on Jongdae’s bed, playing with the stuffed teddy bear that Jongdae keeps by his pillow. He still remembers Chanyeol winning it for Jongdae at a fair many years ago, and Baekhyun can’t help wondering if—

“Only if you stay with me,” Baekhyun says, getting under the blankets and giving Jongdae his most persuasive look.

“I’m only staying to make sure you don’t start playing on your phone.” Jongdae gets in beside Baekhyun, pushing him away a little so that both of their heads are resting on the pillow. It should feel uncomfortable, but Baekhyun can’t deny that this is one of the reasons why he’s never complained about Jongdae keeping the temperature so low in their apartment. The cold has always made Jongdae more willing to cuddle with him, closing up any space between them to keep as warm as possible.

“How have you been?” Baekhyun asks when Jongdae has stopped moving, having found a comfortable space. He’s almost getting a mouthful of Jongdae’s hair as he speaks, but he’s hesitant to move away and give Jongdae the entire pillow.

“Great.” Jongdae tilts his head back to look at Baekhyun, and really, this isn’t all that much better. “We can talk more when you wake up. Go to sleep.”

Baekhyun’s gotten used to getting less than five hours of sleep each day, sometimes staying up long enough to see the sunrise of the next day. He’s been doing this long enough that he doesn’t really process tiredness and hunger the way he used to. There’s something in Jongdae’s expression that tells Baekhyun he won’t take no for an answer.

Like this, it’s easy for Baekhyun to forget about all the things he still has to do. He’s only thinking about the present, only noticing Jongdae’s hand next to his and Jongdae’s breath against his collarbones. This is what home feels like, Baekhyun thinks, just moments before he falls asleep as well.

Most days, they barely have time to spend a few minutes on the phone with each other. Usually, it takes many missed calls and voicemails before their breaks manage to coincide.

That morning, Jongdae calls just before Baekhyun has to do his interview. “Hey, are you free?”

“I have an interview in a few minutes.” Baekhyun looks at his image through the mirror, swallowing before forcing a smile onto his lips. It looks too unnatural, too practiced, but Baekhyun can’t remember the last time he’d seen himself smile because he really wanted to. “Are you on break right now?”

“Yeah. Why does your voice sound so weird? You’re not sick, are you?”

“I’ve been singing since dawn.” Baekhyun tries to laugh, but he quickly starts coughing. He holds his phone away from him for a moment, taking a deep breath before bringing the phone back to his ear.

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae says, and Baekhyun can hear his worry through the phone.

“I’m here. Still alive,” he adds. Baekhyun means to say it as a joke, but his tone falls flat.

“Is your interview live?”

“Pre-recorded.” Baekhyun can see his manager through the mirror. He only has a few minutes left before he’s back before the cameras again.

“Cancel it,” Jongdae tells him.

“I can’t. It’s not like they’ll have unlimited time slots just for me. Look, I’m fine, really,” Baekhyun says, although he can tell that Jongdae doesn’t believe me. It’s not like this is unusual, though; he’s performed under worse circumstances, and he’s learned to keep going no matter what he’s feeling.

“You have even more to do after this, don’t you?” Jongdae asks, and Baekhyun’s silence is enough of an answer. Jongdae sighs, the sound cackling through the speakers. “Baekhyun, you have to take care of yourself. It doesn’t matter so much about what other people want from you. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it.”

Baekhyun tightens his grip on his phone. It’s not that easy, he wants to tell Jongdae, but he knows that Jongdae means well. “Okay,” he says instead. “I’m hanging up,” he adds, and quickly ends the call as his manager signals that it’s time.

Baekhyun thinks that he pulls it off pretty well. There are times when he almost blanks out, times when he wants to snap back at the interviewer for asking such pointless questions, but he covers it up with a sweet smile. Besides, there’s always the fact that they’ll go back and edit the interview, cutting out any awkward silences. Baekhyun gives all the right answers, and his manager doesn’t say anything afterwards.

What he doesn’t expect, though, is for Jongdae to be waiting for him outside his dressing room when he’s finished.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun blurts out, momentarily caught off guard.

Jongdae takes a step forward, placing his palm on Baekhyun’s forehead. “Just making sure you’re okay.” He frowns as he steps back again. “Your forehead is burning.”

“I’m just tired,” Baekhyun says, but he quickly gives up on arguing when he sees the determined set of Jongdae’s jaw.

Jongdae takes him by the hand, looking up to acknowledge Baekhyun’s manager. “I’m taking Baekhyun back home,” he says. There’s something so certain about his tone that even though Baekhyun is pretty sure his manager has never met Jongdae before, his manager doesn’t try to stop them as Jongdae leads them out of the building.

“Really, I’m fine,” Baekhyun says, stopping abruptly before Jongdae’s car. “You don’t have to worry about me. You should get back to your classes.”

“I already canceled all of them for today.” Jongdae reaches past Baekhyun to open the passenger seat. “Get in. You’re taking the day off.”

Baekhyun would put up more of a fight, but really, he’s kind of tired right now and a free day with Jongdae doesn’t sound that bad.

“I’ll make it worth your while, I promise,” Jongdae says, starting the car and putting a hand on the back of Baekhyun’s seat as he backs out of the parking space. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” he adds, looking over at Baekhyun.

“No, I’m not,” Baekhyun says, and he really isn’t. A little annoyed, yes, but he doesn’t mind, not when Jongdae is clearly doing so much for him. Jongdae’s responding smile is so bright that Baekhyun finds it difficult to look away.

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae calls, knocking on the door. “Baekhyun? Why is the door locked?”

“Don’t come in,” Baekhyun says, looking up from his phone as he answers. “I’m locking you out.” He’s sitting up in bed, blankets and pillows stacked up around him. For once, Jongdae had turned down the air conditioning, but Baekhyun is comfortable, even if it’s unbearably hot.

“You can’t lock me out of my own bedroom.” Jongdae’s voice is amused, but he knocks more insistently on the door. “Baekhyun, come on. I have your medicine.”

Baekhyun really doesn’t want to, but he gets up out of the bed anyway. The ground is shockingly cold against his bare feet, and Baekhyun lets out a little yelp as he opens the door. He jumps back into the bed immediately afterwards, burying his face into the pillows.

“Baekhyun, what’s wrong?” Jongdae asks, setting the bottles of medicine on his desk. He sits down in the chair, facing Baekhyun. “You’re going to have to get up if you want me to feed you the medicine.”

“Go away. I can feed myself,” Baekhyun says, his voice half muffled in the blankets.

“I know you’re at following directions.” Jongdae kicks the mattress when Baekhyun doesn’t respond. “Come on, Baekhyun. Do you not want to see me or something?”

“It’s not you.” Baekhyun sighs as he sits up, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m just… not exactly presentable right now.” He’s sure that he must look like a mess, his eyes swollen from being unable to sleep well last night, his hair sticking up in every direction, and his cheeks a blotchy red.

“What are you talking about?” Jongdae reaches out to grab Baekhyun’s arm, refusing to let go even when Baekhyun tries to flinch away. “I think you look beautiful.” There’s open sincerity in his eyes, a look that is completely different from the casual compliments that Baekhyun is used to receiving.

“How are you like this?” Baekhyun asks, looking away.

Jongdae lets his hand fall from Baekhyun’s arm as he opens one of the bottles of medication, pouring out two pills into his palm. “Like what?” he asks, handing the pills and a cup of water to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun pops both pills into his water at once, chasing them down with a mouthful of water. He imagines them leaving a bitter taste in his mouth as they dissolve. Years ago, he’d taken bright red pills to recover from a sickness. They’d looked so shiny, like the candy he’d buy from the convenient store, so he’d thought that it would be a good idea to bite into them. They certainly hadn’t tasted like candy, and the bitter taste that stayed in his mouth for hours still haunts him to this day.

“I don’t understand how you’re so nice,” Baekhyun says, setting the cup on the table as Jongdae starts pouring some cough medicine for him. “You don’t have to look after me, you know. I’m a grownup and I can take care of myself.” He’s taught himself over the years to not depend on anyone else, learned how to get close to other people without fully depending on them. More than anything, he’s scared of falling, of losing in this world.

Jongdae isn’t like that. Jongdae manages to pour himself into everything, place his full dedication into something that he begins on. Baekhyun doesn’t really understand, but he admires him for the quality. He doesn’t know how Jongdae is still awake and smiling when he’d stayed up late last night, changing the towel on Baekhyun’s forehead to drive the fever away, waking up from time to time to spoon feed him medicine, and getting up early in the morning to buy more medicine.

“Isn’t that what friends are for?” Jongdae says, and his answer is so simple. He smiles, like he’s telling Baekhyun, You can rely on me. It’s okay.

Baekhyun curls his fingers into his blankets, watching as Jongdae mixes the medicine with water. “I’m sorry.” Jongdae looks up, his eyebrows raised in surprise, and Baekhyun continues, “I wasn’t exactly the best friend, was I? Five years ago—”

Five years ago, when Jongdae and Chanyeol had broken up. Baekhyun hadn’t known what to feel then, much less how to react.

Baekhyun’s always dreamed of his the partner he’d be assigned to when he became of age, had imagined elaborate scenes in his mind when he was bored. It had been oddly ironic, when he’d finally received his assignment, that even though he was one of the most sought after men in the country, his partner was probably the one person he could never have.

Baekhyun had tried his best not to meddle. He had the power to push the relationship either way, but he’d tried his best to stay in the background. It hadn’t been easy, acknowledging that something was beyond his control, and there had been times when Baekhyun had wanted to interfere. He’d witnessed Chanyeol and Jongdae’s entire relationship, though, had seen when their looks towards each other had turned into something more.

He’d also seen their relationship break apart, slowly at first, like threads unraveling from a roll of fabric. And maybe Baekhyun could have done something, could have salvaged or destroyed it completely, but he hadn’t. Even when Jongdae had cried at night for months afterwards, and Baekhyun could hear his muffled sobs through the walls, he hadn’t done anything. He was hesitant to approach either Jongdae or Chanyeol, immersing himself in his budding career instead.

It had only taken time for Chanyeol and Jongdae to heal. Baekhyun hadn’t noticed at first, but Jongdae’s smile was as bright as it usually was before the breakup. Chanyeol recovered as well, calling all four of them out to dinner from time to time.

Baekhyun had thought it was for the best then, but he isn’t so sure now. Sometimes, he wonders how Jongdae would have reacted if he’d just held Jongdae one of those nights and told him that he wasn’t alone, that he didn’t have to go through it by himself. Sometimes, he wonders if he could have been a better friend, if he could have put someone in front of himself for once.

Jongdae’s eyes widen, the disbelief obvious in his features. “Baekhyun, that’s not true. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t do anything right, either.” Baekhyun tries to smile, but he can feel his lips trembling, so he gives up. “You wouldn’t have done that.” Jongdae would have knocked on his door as insistently as he had just knocked, would have stayed by Baekhyun’s side no matter how much Baekhyun wanted to be left alone. “I just always wondered…” He swallows, choking on his last words. These are thoughts that he’s never tried putting into words before, and the messy swirl of feelings almost overwhelms him.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jongdae reaches out, patting Baekhyun’s knee gently. “We’re all human. Besides, it’s not like you didn’t help. I know that you were busy back then, but you still came back as often as you could, and you’d cook me food whenever I forgot. Except you always managed to set the smoke alarm off,” he adds, grinning so widely that Baekhyun can’t help smiling back. “Here, drink this and stop worrying about the past. Just focus on getting better.”

Baekhyun drinks from the small cup, tilting his head back to get the last drop. “Are you going back to work?”

“No, I’m staying in bed with you.” Jongdae walks out of the room to put the medicine away and wash the used cups.

“I’m sick,” Baekhyun protests, as Jongdae returns and shuts the door to their room. “I don’t want to get you sick too. And I’ll be fine by myself. I’m very good at entertaining myself, and I have a lot of movies that I’ve always wanted to watch, so—”

“We could watch them together,” Jongdae says, getting under the covers next to Baekhyun. He’s smiling, but his eyes tell Baekhyun that he won’t take no for an answer.

Baekhyun would argue more, but he wants this too, so he lets sets Jongdae’s iPad in the space between them and starts a movie.

“Jongdae?” Baekhyun says into the speaker the moment the call connects.

“Baekhyun? Do you know what time it is?” Jongdae’s voice is thick with sleep, causing his words to blur together.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun glances at the clock on the wall behind him. It’s just past six in the morning, and the sun is starting to shine through the window.

“You’re never up this early. You didn’t stay up all night, did you?”

Baekhyun hesitates, spinning in his chair a few times. “I was practicing. I have a concert tomorrow. You’re coming, right?” he adds. He’d sent Jongdae the tickets nearly a month ago. Jongdae’s answer then had been vague, though, and Baekhyun wonders if he’s forgotten about it by now.

“Of course I am,” Jongdae says, and Baekhyun lets out a breath of relief. “It’s just half an hour away. How could I not go?” There’s a pause, and Baekhyun can almost hear his brain switching gears as Jongdae goes back to worrying over him. “But Baekhyun, are you ever going to sleep? You know that performance doesn’t always depend on how much you practice. You need to get some rest if you want to do well.” Jongdae had given Baekhyun this speech before, back in college, when he’d dragged Baekhyun away from his books and told him to get a good night’s sleep before the final.

“I know.” Baekhyun covers a yawn with the back of his hand. Usually, he’d want to stay on the line a little longer, but he really is tired now. He’d spent the last few hours staring at his laptop’s screen with his earphones in until the lyrics had started blurring before his eyes. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Jongdae hums, and Baekhyun can hear some shuffling in the background. It must be Jongdae getting ready for another day of work, and Baekhyun almost wishes that he was there with him, fixing his tie and messing with his hair the way assigned couples act around each other.

Baekhyun shakes his head, trying to clear the thought from his mind. He’s getting tired enough that he’s letting his thoughts wander into places he shouldn’t be thinking about. It’s true that he and Jongdae are assigned couples, but they’ve never crossed the line between friends and something more. Sometimes, when Baekhyun is falling asleep with Jongdae’s head against his shoulder, or when he’s waking up to Jongdae’s arm thrown over his waist, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, they could. But Baekhyun’s always getting ahead of himself, always just a step beyond the safety zone.

“Why?” Jongdae asks, breaking the silence between them. “Is it a special occasion?”

“You could say that.” Baekhyun smiles when he hears Jongdae grumbling under his breath. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be so special anymore, would it?”

“Your performances are always special,” Jongdae says.

Baekhyun is almost unable to formulate a response to Jongdae’s words. He recovers quickly, though, getting up because he’s starting to turn numb from sitting down for so long. “Well, this one’s going to be extra special. You’re going to regret it if you don’t come.”

Jongdae laughs. “I’ll be there, I’ll be there.” There’s a moment of silence, and he must have set his phone on a table and turned the call on speaker because when Jongdae speaks again, it sounds like he’s far away and shouting to be heard. “Don’t forget to get some sleep. I’m not looking forward to seeing your eye bags.”

“I know. I will. Don’t miss me too much until then.”

“Won’t miss you at all,” Jongdae says, but Baekhyun can practically hear his smile through the phone. “Go to sleep.”

Baekhyun sets the alarm on his phone, and he falls asleep almost the instant he gets into his bed.

Baekhyun has gotten used to being on stage, has come to enjoy the attention and spotlight focused only on him. But he’s nervous this time, shifting nervously from one foot to the other as he waits for his cue to step onstage again.

The lights are much dimmer than they had been during his previous performances. Baekhyun pauses, taking a moment to adjust to the darkness of the stage and the light sticks in the audience. There’s a moment of silence, a quiet breath of anticipation, before a spotlight focuses on Baekhyun.

Baekhyun can hear the cheers and screams as he walks forward again. He smiles, waving as he sits down on the chair in the middle of the stage. He’d originally planned to say something before this, to introduce the last song he would be performing today, but he lets the song speak for itself as the background track starts playing over the speakers.

Baekhyun looks out into the audience as he starts singing, wonders if Jongdae is watching him from one of the seats.

Now I must confess my heart to you.
Only heaven knows my heart.
I’ll tell you what I’ve kept so preciously in my heart.

This is a song that he’s never sung before an audience before, one that he’d worked on long into the night. It had been his first time composing, and he’d experienced firsthand how much work had to go into producing a song that was barely three minutes long. It had been worth it in the end, though, and Baekhyun closes his eyes as the next verse begins.

It’s hard to say it; tears are coming out.
Memories are passing me by.
There would be no today if it wasn’t for you.

It hadn’t been easy, putting his feelings into words. Baekhyun can feel his voice wavering, and he takes a deep breath before continuing.

The day we first met,
I was awkward and young.
The times you waited for me,
Just because I told you to trust me.

Jongdae had told Baekhyun once that he couldn’t quite remember when he first started having feelings for Chanyeol. Maybe they’d been there from the very beginning, he’d said, from the first day that all three of them met.

Sometimes, I hurt you with my mistakes,
But you never once blamed me.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
You smiled and gave me strength.

Jongdae had been devastated when they received their assignments through the mail, his expression crumbling as much as he tried to hide it.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said, the words sticking to the inside of his throat and mouth as he forced them out. He put the paper face down, looking up at Jongdae. He didn’t say anything else, but he hoped that his meaning was clear enough. I won’t try to get in between the two of you.

“It’s okay,” Jongdae replied, smiling brightly as he looked up at Baekhyun. “It’s not your fault.”

When I made you upset by saying that I was busy,
You could have blamed me.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry.”
You believed in me while saying that.

Baekhyun had known that Jongdae and Chanyeol would get together long before they actually did. He had been casually teasing them about it since they were young, but it had never affected him before he’d received his assignment. He was truly happy for them, but he couldn’t hide his own disappointment, the knowledge that he’d probably never get his happily ever after.

He tried to avoid Chanyeol and Jongdae, hoping that it wouldn’t be as obvious if he wasn’t around them as much. Jongdae noticed, though, and went out of his way to find Baekhyun.

“We’re still going to be friends, right?” Jongdae asked, and Baekhyun realized then how selfish it would have been to throw away decades of friendship over something like that.

I selfishly hope that
Your heart will stay the same forever.
I will try harder for you every day.

Baekhyun wonders, sometimes, how long it will be before Jongdae gets tired of chasing him. He’d wanted to take care of Jongdae after Chanyeol no longer could, but he’s still hesitant, still unsure about how to do so.

The day we first met,
I was awkward and young.
The times you waited for me,
Just because I told you to trust me.
Sometimes, I hurt you with my mistakes,
But you never once blamed me.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
You smiled and gave me strength.
When I made you upset by saying that I was busy,
You could have blamed me.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry.”
You believed in me while saying that.

Sometimes, he wonders if he should have found Chanyeol and talked some sense into him. Sometimes, he wonders if he could have prevented the heartbreak that Jongdae must have gone through. And sometimes, he wonders how Jongdae had managed to recover so well, how he still smiles so brightly despite everything he’d gone through.

All the memories we made together,
The times we cried and laughed,
I’ll remember them until the moment I die.

He remembers all the times Jongdae had stopped him from overworking himself when they were in college. Even now, Jongdae doesn’t hesitate to call him, to make sure that he was still taking care of himself. Baekhyun knows that, no matter how tired he is, no matter how long he’s been away, he’ll always have a home to return to.

Have I told you that I love you?
There’s no other way to say it—
I love you, I love you—
Other than these common words.

Baekhyun isn’t sure when he’d first started having feelings for Jongdae. It had developed gradually from their first year in college until now. They had seen each other in their best and worst moments, and Baekhyun is content in knowing that Jongdae won’t look at him any differently based on material things alone. It’s as simple as knowing that they can trust each other, no matter what happens, and they both know these things without saying them aloud.

I’ll say it again, I love you.
Please don’t ever forget my heartfelt confession today.
I love you.

Baekhyun opens his eyes as he sings the last line, and it almost surprises him that he’d been singing before an audience the whole time. It feels like he’d been in his own world the whole time, but the screams that drown out the last chords of the song are enough to bring him back into reality.

He feels light as he gets up from his chair, satisfied from finally saying what he’d wanted to say. Baekhyun bows, smiling as he waves and walks offstage.

It’s been a while since Baekhyun has felt this satisfied after a performance, and the feeling stays with him even after the concert has ended. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t receive a response for his confession, since he’s content with just saying the words he’d kept in his heart for so long.

The doors to his dressing room open, and Baekhyun looks up, expecting his manager to walk in. He doesn’t expect Jongdae to enter, holding a bouquet of flowers.

Baekhyun stands, his knees feeling oddly shaky as he turns to face Jongdae. “You’re here,” he says, and he wonders why his words are failing him now as he looks at Jongdae.

“I told you I’d come, didn’t I?” Jongdae asks, and it’s always so simple, so meaningful. “Good job on the concert.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun says, taking the flowers that Jongdae offers to him.

He looks down at the roses, smiling as he remembers how Jongdae had bought him these very flowers in celebration for his first live concert. Jongdae had kept them in a vase in their small kitchen, carefully looking after them and watering them for weeks afterwards.

Jongdae steps forward and hugs Baekhyun tightly. “You’ll be coming home tonight, right?”

“Of course.” Baekhyun tries to move the flowers to avoid crushing them, laughing as Jongdae steps back.

“I’ll see you.” Jongdae grins, squeezing Baekhyun’s hand briefly before he walks away.

Baekhyun doesn’t stop smiling as the door closes behind Jongdae. Maybe they’ll talk about it tonight, and maybe they won’t. It’s not like they have to put what they have into words to make it any more real than it already is.

Baekhyun picks up his things, holding the flowers in his hand as he walks out of the dressing room. He’s going back home. 

The song that Baekhyun sang was FT Island's I Confess. Thank you to everyone who read to the end! Upvotes and comments are greatly appreciated.