Well it's several minutes into 2015. I survived another year with more emotional battle scars to prove that I'm alive. I should be happy that I got through some really tough times these past two years, but since 12am hit I haven't been able to stop crying. Holidays make me depressed anymore. I'm starting to want to be isolated again. I don't want to start off the new year like this, but I can't help it. I feel broken and hurt and confused and conflicted. I want to be alone, but hate being lonely. I looked in the mirror as I was getting ready to head to bed and hardly recognized the pale-faced person staring back at me. Where did I go? When 2014 ended did the familiar person that used to stare back at me in the mirror disappear? 

For 2015 I just want the pain to go away. I want to stop hurting. I don't want to be so depressed and anxious and conflicted anymore. I just want to go back to how I used to be. Happy, carefree, and sure of myself. Why is that so hard?