Seeking Trouble

Class A review

Reviewer: illumina_dain

Story Title: 8/10

Your title is somewhat original. First thing, your title suit what Title 101 says about choosing a story title. It’s less than six words but still manage to relate with the story (and perhaps there’s more to it? I’m not sure). I feel like there’s double meaning for the title but it just a hunch. Also your title can pick up my interest into reading it so I have to congratulate your talent in choosing this title. Looking more into it, I also thought that your title give mysterious feeling.

I take out two points because I feel that your storyline is not entirely about “seeking trouble”. I have said that your title (somewhat) relate with your story but I think your story is more about Ryosuke’s life. Maybe the scene when Ryosuke and Hoya trying to help Sungjong is the one time they try to engage trouble with the black magic. I got a little confused in the middle though because I hope to find Ryosuke as a real troublemaker in this story.

Narrative Elements: 25/30

It’s not a long chaptered fic so I kind of hoping about something that can punch me in the face. I love Ryosuke characters even though he confused about his identity and all that jazz about Seeker and samurai. I hope I can get more about Hoya grumpiness but then I realised that eight chapters was too short for that, or maybe not?

I think you own the talent of writing and developing the setting for your story. Even I can’t build such setting in my own story and I envy that. I love dark setting more than anything and you hit that square in the eyes. The opening of the story intrigued me about the plot, but I felt disappointed because 1) I felt that it was too short 2) the ending was a cliff-hanger.

Sorry if I rant about this but I really think that you can do a lot more for this story. There’s so much space in this story to wiggle around and expand into one heck of alternate universe of Seekers. The conflict is not like a major conflict, except the inner struggle Ryosuke has along the story. I didn’t catch the on first read. I should give it to you that the plot is original (I hardly see plot with samurai and superpower-ish into one story) and you give a nice twist at the end. Regardless, I felt a little disappointed with the battle scenes and you left me hanging at the end of the story. I don’t mind you left us hanging like that but I needed to have an enclosure of what had happened. I can’t feel the enclosure, the conclusion, or maybe I just don’t really understand your story. Maybe you can explain to me more about this. Honestly, I’m confused after I finished reading it.

Also, I’m not sure the purpose of this story. I take it you want to tell the readers that in the midst of craziness and strangeness, you will find your true self? I felt that in the midst of Ryosuke’s inner struggle, in the end he comes back into a Seeker life (somewhat) and get a new relationship/friend (Hoya).

 

Narrative Design: 30/30

While I confused about the storyline and plot, this rubric seems to be your forte so maybe I can’t say much. The narration from time to time is flawless and their dialogues are astonishing. You have your own style with words and you persuaded me into Ryosuke’s life strongly. I just hope I understand your story better though, so it would be complete.

Descriptiveness of The Story: 30/30

You described Ryosuke with his inner thought and inner struggle, Hoya and Sungjong with their action towards other thus I concluded that you used various way of describing your characters. Like I have said, you have your own way with words. I can perfectly hear their tone while conversing with each other and I find it really outstanding. If the readers can feel and read the story like watching a movie, the writer is a really good at describing his/her story. I don’t really get major impression at first but the descriptiveness is something that really stands out in this story.

Overall Score: 93 points

Reviewer’s note: Sorry for the long wait OTL. I take note that in chapter six there are many typographical errors. Please make a sequel on this alternate universe. I would like to have any explanation about their life, heck, I’d like to read more about Seeker’s life.

Seeking Trouble

Class A review

Reviewer: illumina_dain

Story Title: 8/10

Your title is somewhat original. First thing, your title suit what Title 101 says about choosing a story title. It’s less than six words but still manage to relate with the story (and perhaps there’s more to it? I’m not sure). I feel like there’s double meaning for the title but it just a hunch. Also your title can pick up my interest into reading it so I have to congratulate your talent in choosing this title. Looking more into it, I also thought that your title give mysterious feeling.

I take out two points because I feel that your storyline is not entirely about “seeking trouble”. I have said that your title (somewhat) relate with your story but I think your story is more about Ryosuke’s life. Maybe the scene when Ryosuke and Hoya trying to help Sungjong is the one time they try to engage trouble with the black magic. I got a little confused in the middle though because I hope to find Ryosuke as a real troublemaker in this story.

Narrative Elements: 25/30

It’s not a long chaptered fic so I kind of hoping about something that can punch me in the face. I love Ryosuke characters even though he confused about his identity and all that jazz about Seeker and samurai. I hope I can get more about Hoya grumpiness but then I realised that eight chapters was too short for that, or maybe not?

I think you own the talent of writing and developing the setting for your story. Even I can’t build such setting in my own story and I envy that. I love dark setting more than anything and you hit that square in the eyes. The opening of the story intrigued me about the plot, but I felt disappointed because 1) I felt that it was too short 2) the ending was a cliff-hanger.

Sorry if I rant about this but I really think that you can do a lot more for this story. There’s so much space in this story to wiggle around and expand into one heck of alternate universe of Seekers. The conflict is not like a major conflict, except the inner struggle Ryosuke has along the story. I didn’t catch the on first read. I should give it to you that the plot is original (I hardly see plot with samurai and superpower-ish into one story) and you give a nice twist at the end. Regardless, I felt a little disappointed with the battle scenes and you left me hanging at the end of the story. I don’t mind you left us hanging like that but I needed to have an enclosure of what had happened. I can’t feel the enclosure, the conclusion, or maybe I just don’t really understand your story. Maybe you can explain to me more about this. Honestly, I’m confused after I finished reading it.

Also, I’m not sure the purpose of this story. I take it you want to tell the readers that in the midst of craziness and strangeness, you will find your true self? I felt that in the midst of Ryosuke’s inner struggle, in the end he comes back into a Seeker life (somewhat) and get a new relationship/friend (Hoya).

 

Narrative Design: 30/30

While I confused about the storyline and plot, this rubric seems to be your forte so maybe I can’t say much. The narration from time to time is flawless and their dialogues are astonishing. You have your own style with words and you persuaded me into Ryosuke’s life strongly. I just hope I understand your story better though, so it would be complete.

Descriptiveness of The Story: 30/30

You described Ryosuke with his inner thought and inner struggle, Hoya and Sungjong with their action towards other thus I concluded that you used various way of describing your characters. Like I have said, you have your own way with words. I can perfectly hear their tone while conversing with each other and I find it really outstanding. If the readers can feel and read the story like watching a movie, the writer is a really good at describing his/her story. I don’t really get major impression at first but the descriptiveness is something that really stands out in this story.

Overall Score: 93 points

Reviewer’s note: Sorry for the long wait OTL. I take note that in chapter six there are many typographical errors. Please make a sequel on this alternate universe. I would like to have any explanation about their life, heck, I’d like to read more about Seeker’s life.