I hate the way you talk.

I hate the way you walk.

I hate the way you see things.

I hate the way you smile at me.

I hate the way you captivate me with that voice that just sounds so pleasant to my ears.

But I hate myself for falling for you when I know I'll lose you so easily.

Here I am again
I swear it's just two summers ago when
I promised I won't be stupid again
But then, you came along

It's a few months ago, I could remember
When you walked through the door
Had no idea you'll be the first to make me feel this way
But it's funny how things didn't go my way

Here I am again
Making a fool of myself
A pen in hand, tears on my paper
Wishing you hadn't came along

I hate the way you talk
I hate the way you walk
I hate the way you say my name
But I hate myself more for playing this game

But I wish I could tell you right now
How much I care for you
That no matter how much I try
I wouldn't understand why

Why I liked you so much
Why I forced myself to believe
That I still stand a chance
When I will lose you—all at once

Guys, this is a pure drama that's cliche and stuff but I just want to ask you something. Or more like tell you something.

So there's this guy I liked since the beginning of the school year. I sat with him for 3 months and remember how I had to go back to the Philippines for some personal reason and tell you what, when I came back, our teacher made us sit together again. So yeah all normal stuff. We talked and I considered us friends but for the most part, he annoyed me. And when I say annoy, I don't mean bug you once in a while but more like every single day. And it dawned on me that I was in love with him. You can't say that it's just a crush because it's been a year.

So he says a lot of things that drive the butterflies in my tummy crazy. One time, I was rambling about him being so freaking mean and rude and all that stuff and he cut me with a short, "Eleanor, okay. I love you too." And that made me stop. At first I didn't think that he liked me but when my friends saw how all touchy-feely he gets, they thought that the guy possibly likes me back. His friends tease me about him all the time and they shoot me knowing glances. One of them even wrote a story for our English class wherein the guy I like and me have a thing. Even a friend of mine told me how he can see how the guy's face "lightens up" when he sees me. On some days he's nice. He even went to his locker to get glue for me. But then he found a way to actually torment me.

To catch my attention he steps on the back of my shoe, making me almost trip. He does it all the time and he laughs. Like laugh really great because he doesn't really laugh. It's really rare to see his toothy smile. And it makes me happy that I could possibly the reason for it. One time I even threatened him about having my dad get him and feed him to the dog (which i wouldnt do because i seriously am in love with him) and all he said was, "Would you still do that if I marry you?"

And then I died.

But the problem is, I love him too much it hurts.

I might be moving schools. And I'm afraid I can never let him go.

'Cause when I think of you, my emotions come back to me all at once and it hurts just the same.

It's stupidly ironic to say that everything about you changed when you still love the same person and then again, he's your everything. what changed?

So any words of wisdom? Advice?

Thanks guys. <3