My journey so far with Epilepsy.

Two days ago I was in a mall. I went after work and wanted some time to walk around and clear my mind. There was an incident that happened that I really wanted to forget. Earlier that day someone from my college recognized me at work. She was a client. She was talking to my co-worker just fine and when my co-worker directed me to her since I was incharge of her research she suddenly fell silent. There was an awkward silence that happened between us and her attitude towards me was the complete opposite than that of my co-worker. 

It was after she left that I found out from my co-worker that she told my boss about my medical condition and asked if her research be assigned to someone else. She said that she didn't want an epileptic to handle her research since she wanted it to be taken cared of by a healthy individual.

I was like WTF? I have been judged so many times because of my medical condition. I had been humiliated, alienated and rejected by so many jobs because of that. I work extra hard to prove to my co-workers and boss that I am capable of performing my obligations without any problem. 

I admit that being an epileptic is not an easy thing. My boss knew that when he hired me and kept me in his division. My co-workers accepted me regardless of my condition and even assured me that I was fine. 

So, when that certain classmate said that my boss denied her request and asked her to take her research somewhere else. 

I'm glad my boss defended me. But I was so pissed that I had to go out and clear my mind. I wanted to cry out of frustration. I worked so hard and still get treated like I have some kind of ugly disease. Being epileptic is hard. Taking care of myself and trying everyday, every moment to avoid things that could trigger my attack. I have gained a lot of weight because of the medications that I have been taking and it's also affecting my insecurities. I have been seizure free for almost five years now and I am just as normal as anybody else that works.

I never thought that I would get to be discriminated like this again. What defines a healthy individual anyway? Does being healthy mean that you never get sick at all? Does being healthy mean that you're superman and has immunity to all sort of crap that the world gives you? Does being healthy mean that you never show any weakness whatsoever?

If that is the definition of being healthy than I would rather be sick. Having a medical condition such as epilepsy is something that I am not ashamed of. I should be since this kind of medical condition is not really accepted very well in my country, most especially if you come from a rural area like me and people treat this condition as being possessed by an evil spirit or being punished for your sins. I am proud that I was able to accept this "special challenge" that life has given me and that I was able to overcome all sorts of stigmas that was being given to me by society. 

People should be more open-minded about this things. If people like me aren't given an opportunity to have normal lives then we would not only be dying physically but also emotionally. 

Emotional death is far more painful and deadly than the physical one.  I usually don't let these things bother me anymore since stress is one of my triggers but I am also human and I also get hurt.

Think twice before you act. Think of the consequences that your actions do to people. I am also guilty of being a total about other people but I try not to be.

I'm sorry to be ranting about this but I am very sensitive when it comes to epilepsy and how I am being discriminated because of it. If you were in my shoes wouldn't you get pissed as well?

On the bright side, I was happy because Mr. Handsome (my boss) took my side and showed that a thing or two about discrimination. He became my savior that day and I will be forever grateful to him. FYI, I'm not the only one with a medical condition at work. I have one that is bipolar and another that has a heart condition. Yet, we are all treated equally.

I just wish other people would do the same. People like me that have medical conditions whether its physiological or psychological can be treated like a normal individual. 

That's the fair and right thing to do.

So to end my long rant, I want people to understand me and where I am coming from. 

Thanks for bearing with me guys.

Peace!

Seul Young

4.23.14