*Warning: There’s a load of cuss words in here.

Whether the stuff about the wedding was true or not, it still doesn’t change the fact that sasaengs are way out of control.

And, honestly, I am ing pissed off right now. What the do you think you’re doing, you crazy little ? I’ve had enough of your crazy- bull. Stop. Just. ing. Stop. Okay?

What, ? You think your oppa is going to marry you? You? The girl who sprayed your menstrual blood all over his face? The girl who broke into his apartment and kissed him in his sleep? The girl who sold her body just to get money to stalk him? The girl who tricked him into signing a marriage certificate? The girl who gave him a teddy bear as a gift with a hidden camera inside?

Lol.

, please.

Excuse me while I die of laughter. (Lol, no. I’m kidding. If I die, it’s going to be while doing a heroic act—like murdering all the sasaeng fans and taking them to Hell with me.)

Do you really think you’re going to win your oppa’s heart by slapping him in the face? Do you really honestly believe your oppa is going to choose you—the crazy- —over other normal fans like me—normal fans who respect his personal life and decisions? Because, yeah, you know. Every guy in the mothering world would love to marry his stalker who will most likely end up tying him up in the basement in order to prevent him from laying eyes on another girl—perhaps a more normal one who doesn’t chase him around on the streets and camp outside his dorm.

Wake.

The .

Up.

Now let me tell you the meaning of EXO’s “Peter Pan,” which most of you all have heard, most likely. It’s okay if you haven’t; I’ll explain it in an even better way.

So once upon a mothering time there was this sly little bastard named Peter Pan (a.k.a. an EXO member), his cute little named Tinkerbell (a.k.a. the sasaeng fans), and his loser friends named the Lost Boys (a.k.a. the other EXO members and the normal fans). So one ing day Peter Pan meets this one chick named Wendy, aight? So, like, they fall in love and run off into the sunset, yadda yadda yadda. Peter Pan is happy. Wendy is happy. The Lost Boys are happy. But Tinkerbell? Tinkerbell is not happy. Not happy at all! /pouts/ But guess what?

Nobody gives a .

Build a ing bridge and get the over it.

*No, the examples I used (e.g., of the girl spraying menstrual blood in her idol’s face) are NOT all from EXO fans. The only examples that represented EXO fans in this rant was the camera being hidden in a teddy bear, and the girls being es to earn money to stalk their idols—which is basically what almost all sasaengs do, not just EXO’s.

*I have a nicer, more gentle and sentimental rant on sasaengs here.