Pair: Baekyeol

Genre: Romance, angst (a little bit) 

Word count: 707 

“It’s just that you don’t understand. You have no idea what I’m going through. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry,” Chanyeol says in response to Baekhyun’s offensive remark. They continue to walk in the same pace, not making any eye contact.

Moments pass and none of them strike up a conversation. The two had found themselves in yet another argument. Their date that started out perfectly had been ruined yet again, just because of Chanyeol’s sensitivity and Baekhyun’s bluntness. What’s weird about their fights is that they don’t actually separate or leave the other; they stick with each other and act like they’re on a normal date, minus the talking, the hugs, the kisses, the laughs, and basically everything else that would be considered a date.

Baekhyun suddenly stops in his tracks, and Chanyeol immediately notices as he too stops walking and looks back at the smaller boy.

“…You think I don’t know what you’re going through?” Baekhyun starts. Chanyeol doesn’t respond, because he knew him well enough to know when he should and shouldn’t shut his mouth. “You think I don’t understand? Do you think I, of all people, don’t know what it feels like to lose someone? To have one of your loved ones die just like that? I’ll tell you what—it makes you feel like total . I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this to you before since I never really like talking about it, but yeah, my sister died two years ago. I get that your friend passed away, but what do you achieve from moping around wishing that you had done more? At the end of the day, you can’t do anything more than what you have already done. You can’t change the things you’ve done. Don’t feel so guilty about it, because his death wasn’t even your fault. It was inevitable. But what if you were me? What if the chance to save that person came in a form of a phone call? What if you were the last person she talked to, asking you to come pick her up because she couldn’t find any taxis? And then you were so immersed in your own petty interests, you don’t actually listen to her because you know she’s going to find a cab anyway. But here’s the thing—she doesn’t. She gets run over because the guy who was driving was drunk! Her life ends like that. But yours doesn’t, and sometimes you’re going to find yourself wishing that you did something else, and sometimes you’re going to beat yourself up over it until god knows when. You’re going to hate yourself. You’re going to feel like you don’t deserve to witness another sunrise. You’re going to regret a lot of things you did and didn’t do that night. You can’t say sorry to her and expect a reply, but you say it anyway…there is no ‘next time I’ll do it’ because she’s dead. Gone. Buried underneath tens of feet underground. Do you know how that feels, Chanyeol? I know how that feels. I know it too well. And it hurts when you said that I have no idea what you’re feeling, because I do.” Baekhyun bites his lip and his tears start to fall. The strong and sharp-tongued boy breaks down. He settles his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, and later buries his face; tasting his salty tears while breathing heavily. Chanyeol doesn’t say much. He wraps his arms around Baekhyun, hugs him really tight, and sets his chin on his boyfriend’s head.

“I’m sorry…Why are our lives so ed up though?” Baekhyun regains himself after a few minutes and he stops sobbing. His face is slowly starting to light up again.

“I have no idea,” Chanyeol smiles, giving a huge grin.

“I know. You’re an idiot,” Baekhyun laughs.

Chanyeol looks down and intertwines his fingers with Baekhyun’s. In contrast to Baekhyun, Chanyeol was more of a soft-spoken kind of person. They look at each other with such fullness; a look incomparable to any other. They knew that, for a couple, they were far from perfect. Even as individuals, this was true. However, as broken as they are, they love each other, along with all the cracks and missing pieces.