I've decided to write a post about death, recently an actor has passed and I'm already done with the "depressed" phase but I just want to let all my feelings out.

As we all know, death is something that happens everyday. It's something that will happen to everyone, so it is natural. I've written a story on death and such, trying to capture the real emotions one feels when someone dies. I'm not really sure where I'm going now. 

Okay, on to the feeling of having someone you know die-- 

For some people, it's easy to accept the lost of a loved one. For others, it is hard. Especially when it happens so suddenly. Most of the time, we don't expect anyone to be wiped off the earth in mere seconds, minutes, or hours. You don't prepare yourself for such an event to happen during a normal day. But when it happens, it hits you. It hits you so hard. And you try to think about it; you think about how that person is now permanently gone. You wrap your mind around the fact that that person will no longer be there in the future. Especially if it happened when s/he was at such a young age, feeling as if it was only the start of their lives. Maybe for some, you'd wish that the news wasn't true at all, that the doctors were wrong, or that they're just gonna wake up soon. 

Until reality dawns on you. You start trying to get used to life without them. But one thing will always stay true-- they'll be in your heart, somewhere, even after a long period of time, even after so many events that has occured to you in your life, they'll be in your memories, somewhere. You'll remember them. You'll remember how much they meant to you and how great they were. 

My own POV:

On the night that I knew he passed away, I was sad. This is coming from a person who gets depressed over a fictional character's death. Deaths always affect me in a way I don't really understand myself. Let's go back to the shows. If you've been following a show/reading a book for a long time, or if you've fallen in love with it, it's as if you know the characters personally. It's like, you know their story, and you know what's happened to them, as if they were your friend. And suddenly they are killed off just like that. In those moments of their slow (or sudden) death, I hold back my sadness, and I fail every time. I end up grieving along with other characters, and sometimes I just cry my heart out as I sit on our living room couch thinking about life, and how I can never understand it. 

Sometimes I wonder, why? Why do these things happen? They happen for many different reasons, obviously. But still, I find myself asking why. 

I feel like there is a void in my heart that can't be filled at the moment, but it will soon be whole again. I believe that time is the best healer. 

I'm sorry for my messed up thoughts, I just can't seem to straighten them out. Okay. I'm not very good at writing about my personal emotions and such, so I guess writing it out through a story would be a better choice. Hope to see y'all again soon. 

the end