Hey Guise.

So I just want to apologize to all of you if ever I'm not updating much these days. It's just that me and my mom got into a fight a couple of days ago. So basically, she saw my blog and my account here in asianfanfics. She got all mad saying that all of this is just a waste of time. It really hurt me but I knew where she was coming from. I mean all parents would initially think that way if they see their child staying up in the middle of the night scrolling and looking at pictures of an unknown person. And just to straighten things out---we're okay now. 

Being a fangirl is my secret identity. It is my identity only the internet society knows. Everyone in the real world does not approve of this kind of living. My family thinks that it would interfere with my studies ( which is absolutely wrong by the way since I always see to it that I finish everything needed at school before I start my life as a fangirl.) Being a fangirl is actually my stress reliever. My escape gate from all the frustrations and expectations from my real world.

But still I understood them since it is just how parents normally react. But this time---it's different.

So my mom saw my asianfanfic account and saw that I write stories. She asked me what kind of stupid things it were again. So I tried explaining to her that I write stories. That I like writing stories. It is one thing I enjoy doing. So I told her to read my works. And she did. After that she said:

"Kung magdedecide ka na gumawa ng isang bagay, siguraduhin mo na may mararating ka. Ni wala ka ngang talent sa pagsulat tapos sasabihin mo saking ito ang gusto mong gawin?" 

[ If you decide to do one thing, be sure that you would attain something. You dont even have the talent in writing and yet you are telling me that this is what you want to do? ]

Those were the words she said. And it left a scar.

Maybe. Maybe I really am not good enough in writing stories. But at least I try. At least I am happy. At least now, I have somethingI can say that I want to continue doing.

But I guess that alone is not enough.

I lost all will to try that night. I thought a whole night of crying it out would ease everything but it didnt. Whenever I try to write---nothing. I feel empty. I feel scared to even try now.

So I'm sorry.

I promise though. When I remember again why I started writing in the first place-----I'll come back. I just need time.

And it wont be for long. I promise.

But for now... I apologize.