Time sure went by so fast :). Hope everyone is safe&sound(gosh I should stop Taylor Swift's song reference lol).

Anyway, I've been doing a lot of thinking while taking a break from writing. 

I kept getting ideas of course. Some made me even excited to write again. But the thought of posting made me anxious to the extent that I felt so scared of it. I'm embarrassed to say that I almost got a panic attack even.

While taking a break, I've received numerous hate on curiouscat. And I felt so tired of everything. Getting hate from people I don't know and some people telling me I should ignore it when I wanted to do that so, so much but couldn't.

I wanted to stop posting because of silent/rude readers. And I wanted to stop writing when I received hate just because they thought I had no talent. But when I found myself getting ideas I want to write, I decided to let it be.

I'm not going to quit because of silent/rude readers. As long as I want to write, I'm going to stay here even if I'm one of the many, many authors, and even if many think I'm not talented. 

There were not only people spamming my curiouscat that I have no talent&other authors are better than me, but also people who faked a compliment while mocking/judging my writing style in a sarcastic way. Saying that it's boring in their taste even though I didn't ask in the first place.

This is a fic site. A place where we write for fun and never should be a competition. People don't have to read or like my writing or give me attention because that's not the reason I write.

I know people only know me as the author who wrote 'Strawberries&Cigarettes' or not know my name at all and that's fine. I've grown quite used to it and I don't have to be called the best as long as there's someone who enjoys my writing.

I also know people like to pick the best fanfics, rank them and judge which is better or not but please don't take others' hard works for granted or mock them. Since they all write&share their work for free.

Just read what you want, thank the author if you enjoyed it, and move on. 

And as I promised, I won't be asking for feedbacks. Someone commented that me asking for feedback is annoying and honestly I'm getting tired of asking while feeling guilty at the same time.

But I won't be accepting rude complaints disguised as a 'constructive' feedback or comments demanding for an update.

Of course, there are all kinds of 'update please' comments. There are nice ones but it's rare. 

The one that I won't be accepting is : 'Update please.' from someone who has never commented anything before. Since that's not encouraging at all but pressuring.

I'll be renewing my friends' list too. I won't be accepting friends requests unless it's from someone I know from the comment section or twitter because I want to make at least a safe space here.

I'm planning on writing chapter two of 'You Are In Love', the sequel of 'Strawberries&Cigarettes'. And right now, I'll be writing another one-shot of 'a written melody for you(every love I sent you)'. 

That means other stories have to wait at least this month. But yes, I'm ready to write&post again. So please wait with respect.

Until next time!

-M.M