I've been thinking about writing a lot lately. Not just the ideas I want to or have to write, but also how I should improve and mostly about how long I can keep writing.
I often feel how different my mind is when I first started writing. It was an amazing feeling : finishing one chapter per day and I could spend hours just writing. But now I am scared to even start. There are so many ideas I want to develop into stories but these days it's hard to be motivated. And I have no idea why. I tried to pressure myself less, take a break and even read more but so far nothing seems to be quite working.
I guess I feel scared because my writing doesn't seem enough lately. I'm not sure how people think about my recent writing style and there's always this regret and disappointment after I post. It gets worse when I check the feedbacks or re-read my stories and yes, I am my worst critic and I don't know what to do about it. I want to keep writing even if there are only a few feedbacks or upvotes but it's hard for some reason.. and I'm almost scared that might stop me from writing because whatever I write seems flawed.. 

It's like my brain decided to take in all negative results and forget all the few positive ones which is so very frustrating.. I really wish I can appreciate the fact that there is at least someone who likes my writing. That's supposed to be enough but why am I so miserable?.. why do I feel so unmotivated?