my depression came back this past few weeks but it finally hit me badly this week. 

i usually take it as a signal when I started becoming suicidal again. these past few weeks have been awful and depressing but i never thought of suicide as i tried to remain positive. but this week had been hard, nothing got better and i started feeling suicidal again. i felt like hanging myself, hurting myself or run out of the car and get hit. those thoughts came back. 

i googled a therapy centre near where i live and i want to go there but i dont know how to convince my parents. im sure no parents want their child to be like this. but i cant take it anymore. i need some medication. these thoughts are torturing my brain each day and its hard for me to function, to live when i constantly want to die. 

in my country, especially where i live, its a taboo to show any signs of depression. ive been imsoniac for the past few weeks too and ive been looking into sleeping pills but Im scared of going to the pharmacy and purchasing it. i feel like im being paranoid. its not like the worker's gonna stare at me. 

i looked up online if i can buy non-prescription antidepressants . but it said there that it is only for mild depression with no thoughts of suicide. 

so does that mean i need a prescription? 

i am tired and sick of feeling like this. its suffocating and if this keeps going, non stop, i feel like I'll die young.