have you ever been this petty? (marriage)

I just want to know. have you ever been so petty?

like me.

i honestly hate when people act like they know what i feel. they act like they know better than me. i am the owner of my own body. i know myself better than anyone else.

it wasnt anything serious though, that's why it's petty. it's about marriage.

in my country (roll my eyes first), women are being looked down upon a lot (at least that's how i see it)

i know it's related to religion somehow, and it is sinful to say this , but i hate how women are being "oppressed" (not too harsh but it does irks me so much i could go insane) most girls are EXPECTED to marry early starting 20 and until 25. FOR ME, that's too young for me. that could work for others, but NOT FOR ME. although my parents arent pressuring me in any relationship, in fact they never mentioned. it's just that my FRIENDS, they're too rushing to get married without settling down first. that's why they got hurt a lot. im not against them getting married early, i just want her to finish her studies first so she wont hurt her parents feelings. they (the people i know, i am NOT generalizing) only want to get married because theyre so thirsty tO BE VERY HONEST. you know in my country, we are not allowed to do this with guys:

-hold hands, skinship, cuddle

-kiss

-have

and all the above is why they want to get married early :)

and i DONT MIND, HONESTLY I DONT! at all, for them! but when they DRAG me along with them. thats when i get so annoyed!

one of my friend started to talk about marriage one day and i told her im not interested in it . i honestly dont see myself wanting to get married any time soon (meaning in my 20s cause i have so much to achieve. i love myself more to not give up on my own dreams) so i told her something like maybe I'll just get married at 30 years old when my dreams maybe will all be fulfilled by then. and she SNICKERED at me like she took me as a joke and said

" i can see you marrying at 25"

WOW. thats when i get so ing pissed and  i VOWED to myself i wont get married at 25 and once on my birthday the day i turned TWENTY SIX (!!!) i will ing laugh at her face that

" HA I AINT MARRIED YET. HOW ABOUT THAT"

thats why im saying i could get so petty lol. before, i honestly just dont see me marrying young and that my ideal marriage age at 30 (altho i am still iffy about marriage tbh. i dont want to get married) but now that she SAID THAT TO MY FACE LIKE SHE COULD ING SEE MY FUTURE, i vowed to PASS 25 WITHOUT GETTING MARRIAGE ha. i'm gonna do it . i am pretty confident about this. i am not attracted to guys around me at all -.-  

i am quite independent. whenever im depressed, i am grateful i am living in hostel in university which only means i could escape from my home (not saying i am from a bad family) sometimes my goodie two shoes family is too good for my own good. if you get what i mean.

i hate being tied down just because im a girl. i recently turned 20 and i want freedom (which i thought i could get once i turned 18 but apparently that doesnt work here in my country) i hate how we CANT enjoy ourselves because its "sinful" . What the is life anyways? if i cant enjoy?

Women are being looked upon where there are expected to know how to clean, do laundry, cook etc before they get married. WHAT

although i certainly can clean, do laundry and cook ( i finally could)  , i aint marrying some guy who expects me to do all that for him. i am NOT A MAID .

my friend said " if you're still fanatic over kdrama and kpop and dont know how to clean and cook yet, then you cant get married yet"

LAUGHABLE.

i legit told her straight that " then i dont even have the slightest wish to want to get married . " that shut her up .

she still thinks im like her, i think like her and so on when WE'RE SO DIFFERENT.

she LOVES guys. i DONT.

i am straight but i dont and am not attracted to guys in real life for AGES! last time i was attracted was my last relationship in early 2014 before i fell into deep depression. i broke it off because i was depressed and i couldnt focus on anything else. and since then i was not once attracted to any guys. i just dont trust anyone .  i always could see through any guys' intention whenever they try to flirt. no one was ever sincere with me. no one had the passionate look in their eyes which i yearn.

i REFUSED to settle down until i find someone who has those sparks in his eyes.

if i couldnt find someone like that, whom i am willing to give my life to, then i wont get married at all just for the SAKE of girls here HAVE TO GET MARRIED.

that "rule"

 

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Vestablue
#1
I totally agree! It's as if the most important thing in life is to get married, like wth? Do they even realise the responsibility that comes with marriage?
Get yourself stable and settled down before marrying. How stupid is it to rush into marriage and end up living with your parents and burdening them?
Ok, i'm just ranting XD
EvenLy_7
#2
I hate this kind of topic to be brought up as well whenever I have a family meeting of smth similar to that. I might be living at the country next to yours although I am still not sure about that and it doesn't really matter, but I just want to say that I know the pressure is real. I'm 24 now and the pressure is getting more prominent than before xD my parents would just keep brought that topic up to the table whenever they can, wherever they can. And I hate it so much, like it's my life, I will get married whenever I want, with whoever that I think fits best with me. So I know coming down from that kind of culture is hard but I know you can do it, just do whatever you want to achieve in life. You have big dreams, don't let this matter makes you stop from wanting to achieve your dream. Everything will happen in the right time and the right place, no need to rush it or forced it to happen. I hope the best for your life ^^ enjoy it as much as you can ~
cyanniegen
#3
the standard of marriage being at around 20-25 is probably because by then you guys are considered mature enough and ready enough to make babies. women are all about serving men and reproducing in some countries and nothing else. i see that you live in a country where women are still being treated like a man's servant. tbh, do what you want to do and never back into your own word. i hope you find the guy with the sparks in his eyes when you think it's the right time for you to settle down!