(Stole this from Lizzie, just like last year)

Total stories published: 25, with 2 fest fics that I haven’t been able to post over to here yet. That’s….19...since...last year...

Total Word Count: 416k, compared to 132k from last year. That’s 284k more D:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

I think I both expected to write more, and am still surprised I stayed so active with writing. And that I’m still very much so interested in writing.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Kaibaeksoo… And a reverse size kink fic.

What's your own favorite story of the year?

UH? UHHH??? I don't know omg. I LOVED Darling, It's Better Down Where It's Wetter (Take It From Me), even though I doubted every word in the fic while writing it. I love that it was just fluff and and cute, soft boys falling in love. Once I Rose (Above The Noise And Confusion) was possibly my most challenging, and definitely has a very special spot in my heart. It had so much action, and involved so much research, and was just...so my jam, even if it's like one of my least popular fics.

Actually, looking back, all my fics were special to me. It sounds weird, especially when it’s like...oh my god, how did I write SO MANY fics?? But...they’re all special, in their own ways. But yeah, those two are probably my favs.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I think so? I think, for me, Once I Rose was a big change. It was a LOT more involved, in terms of world-building. It and Wizards in Training also served as like...the baby steps for what lead to The World Without, which had MASSIVE world-building, which carried over into Darling, It's Better. I think learning to write things that are...non-dialogue was a big change for me, and it was hard, but it was also very necessary with those stories. I think they all could have been better, obviously, but I think I did alright.

Glucose Guardian (That's Mighty Big Of You) is also a really big change for me. Normally, they're slightly , and just really normal, and are pretty evenly matched, but this one has a powerplay dynamic, in that Kyungsoo is a wealthy, older man, essentially paying Jongin to play boyfriend. And then it's revealed that he has some kinks and there's the dom/sub aspect to balance too. I wanted it realistic, instead of just saying "oh, life is perfectly normal dating someone 10 years older who pays me to have with him and obey his every command." And writing GG!Nini is really challenging too, because while I'd like to think all my characters are multi-faceted and layered, GG!Nini in particular is very pessimistic, and he's not funny, and he's kind of vain and dry, and it's just really hard to hammer all those points without flat out spelling it out.

Going way, way back to I Would Move Mountains, my insane pain fic that deserved better, it was my first attempt at a much bigger plot, and re-reading it, I might have been harsher on myself than I should've been. It's still very rough. It still deserved better, but it was Not That Bad for a first attempt. I think What We Find benefited a lot from me bungling my way through IWMM, even though WWF is also quite messy in some parts. I also think a lot more people got mad at me for WWF than IWMM, since IWMM, you're starting from a place of pain, and gradually....accepting it. And with WWF, you start from a place of hope, and then you destroy it, and have to piece your life back together, only to keep ing up at every turn.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

I want to try a Sekai, or barring that, a Sekaisoo. I have so many WIPs and prompts that I want to write, but I also REALLY want to commit to the sequels that I promised. Top among them is Season 2 of Once I Rose and the sequels to Darling, It’s Better.

From my past year of writing what was...

My best story of this year:

Once I Rose (Above the Noise and Confusion) and The World Without were my best, just like...the story themselves? They need editing, but idgaf, they were the best fics I've written.

My most popular story of this year:

The Internet Is For to start out with, and then Glucose Guardian (That's Mighty Big Of You) came in once it was done, and is possibly trying to take the throne. It's wild. People like , who knew.

The story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Once I Rose!

The most fun story to write:

Darling, It's Better Down Where It's Wetter (Take It From Me) - SO fun. It's such a cute fic.

The story with the single iest moment:

Oh god, I've written so much this year. Like so much . I think my favs, faults and all, were ...the first scene in Once I Rose, where Soo gleefully discovers Nini's Giant Dong, the first scene in TIIFP, and...hmmm... I'm gonna ask Lizzie.

[30 minutes later]:

Lizzie and I went down a rabbit hole of all the wacky I've written, and yeah, I've....I've written a lot. But anyway, her vote is for the cyber scene in TIIFP. ....TIIFP had a lot of , ok.

The most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

Oh yeah, the DP from WWF. But also, fun fact, I planned that DP from Hell before I wrote down the very first word in the fic, so there.

The story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

None...? I know who my characters are before I ever write anything. I think maybe OIR!Soo shifted somewhat, but even then, he was very consistent. He was traumatized, and using and humor and whatever he could to avoid confronting that, since there wasn't hope for him. He just had to kill as many monsters as he could before he eventually is killed in return. That's the Hunter Life. But I actually outlined OIR, and I got to some scenes, and they absolutely no longer worked anymore, because of where the two were in their relationship. I don't know if that's really a perception change though? :\

The hardest story to write:

my whole life, WWF was so difficult, but NOTHING can beat The World Without. I wrote that for a fest, so it was already on deadline, and obviously, it has to be ALL done before anyone even views it, so there were no reassuring comments while it was ongoing to tell me that this fic didn't absolutely balls. And the writing was SO hard. Literally, every other word, I had to stop, and delete. It was one word forward, two words deleted. It was so hard. It was agony.

The biggest disappointment:

I Would Move Mountains was so painful for me to write that I took them on detours to alleviate the pain. Dear god. And then the ending is what I wanted, but it didn't go the way I wanted. I didn't have the writing chops then, I don't know if I have the writing chops now, so there it is.

I killed The Gods Among Us, and I'm satisfied with that decision, but I'm sad. It had a lot of potential for a really cool, spacey fic, but also I think I ran into the same problem with my EXONaut fic, in that I was writing about aliens, but for some reason, they looked and acted and ed just like humans, and that really bothered me. But it'd be too weird to change, in terms of reading fluidity. I'm just not meant to write space fics, I guess. :\

The biggest surprise:

The reception for Glucose Guardian surprised the out of me. Especially on AO3. Like you don't understand. I posted the first chapter, which was basically a preview, and I think it got 1k views within a day? It wasn't nearly as wild as on here, but it was still crazy. TIIFP turned out to be my longest fic, as well as my most...well-received fic(??) too, which was a shocker, but at the same time, not. People would rather read , of course. I'm still very proud of it. In my mind, it's just a boring story about how dumb Jongin fell in love with his best friend, but rereading it, it was done well.

The most unintentionally telling story:

Ummmmm....maybe The World Without and What We Find? I think I poured so much of my heart and soul into TWW, like you have to know me by now if you've read it. Or that's how it feels, anyway. And WWF, I am both of them. I think writing the dual POVs made it so different, and I had to use so many different pieces of myself to show both of them.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

Off the southern coast of the Korean peninsula, in the Jeju Strait halfway between Yeosusi City in the mainland and Jeju Island, is Geomundo - the access point for the legendary Baekdo islets. Listed on most world maps officially as Port Hamilton from its brief time as a British Naval base in the mid-1800s, it is a place of myth and mystery, built up with centuries of lore and an inexplicable, dense fog that shrouds the islands.

“Oy, this one looks just like your !” shouts Baekhyun.

From Darling, It's Better. Seriously, was there any way you'd see this in a fest, and not know it was me?

Favorite Closing Line(s):

I think The World Without:

Kyungsoo tries to fight the flashbacks. Jongin was physically unharmed, but emotionally… The nymph may be eons old, but he's spent most all of that time alone, serving the will of the gods. Stagnant. Kyungsoo is just glad that he came back with him, and that they have lived out here in the middle of nowhere for the last few years, mostly unbothered. He can’t undo what has happened. He can’t give back what was taken. “I know it’s not your home…” he starts.

“It’s not,” Jongin says, taking his hand and staring into his eyes. He is still smiling as he looks around at the saplings again. Happiness radiates from him, like sunshine. He leans in until their noses touch. “You’re my home.”

And TIIFP:

Something hits him on the thigh. “So did you or not?” Kyungsoo asks weakly.

As if on cue, the phone that had somehow made its way to the floor starts to vibrate endlessly from notifications. Kyungsoo laughs and pushes him off to the side before flopping down in front of him so they can cuddle.

“Congratulations,” he says, “you’re now a star.”

I'm really bad with opening and closing lines ajieaogioagoiea. I just want to jump to the meat of the scene and then run away afterward.

Favorite 5 Lines from Anywhere:

1. I’d rather you say jal meokkesseumnida

2. And then the man goes and points at his crotch again. “Fish,” Jongin says, straightening up and pointing at the flowers. “Fish?”
   
   “Neither of those things are fish,” Kyungsoo says, eyes growing wider as he tries to take a step back, hand dropping between his legs to shield from future gropings.

3. Jongin’s hand falters as he goes to brush another round of tears away. “I think we’re pretty perfect,” he whispers. And now he’s gone and wounded Jongin even further.

4. “No–no! You! You tricked me, and you brought me to your dungeon thing where you and your boyfriend got high and tried to fish right in front of me. No, you want to talk payment? Is that it? Well, this is my payment for emotional damage. I get my back. Thank you.”

5. How much hope can fit into a body? When can I run out of it already? Will my heart survive all the hope that it has? I think it might be toxic. I think it might be possible to die from so much hope.

(Can you guess where they’re from?)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

1. Kaisoo flirting at the bar in Puppy Love

2. Kaisoo on Geomundo in Darling, It’s Better

3. Once I Rose Kaisoo...literally any of those scenes would be incredible.

4. Kyungsoo meeting Jongin for the first time in The World Without, with his flower crown and starlight freckles

5. Glucose Guardian’s Kaisoo experimenting with the cage :)))

Fic-writing goals for 2018:

Taking it easier on myself and pacing myself so I can actually continue writing for fun. Not joining fests or being MUCH more selective with fests, so I can write things I want to write. Doing the sequels and bonuses that I wanted and have promised.

Thank yous:

It’s been a very hard year for me. I’ve grown a lot as a writer, I think, as well as a person. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve met so many incredible, supportive, caring, thoughtful people, and I’m very thankful for each and every one of you. I don’t respond to all comments, mainly because I get overwhelmed or lose track and forget, or just straight up don’t know what to say, but I read them all, and I appreciate them all. I go back and reread them multiple times. Thank you. Please know that your words make a difference. And if you don’t comment, that’s ok too. Please take care of yourself first.

A big, big thank you to my Lizzie, my At1stSight, my at1stsoo, my fic wife, my beta prime. I’ve begged her to beta through so many unfinished scenes and hold my hand through so many hard, emotional scenes, I’m honestly shocked she still agrees. Thank you to all my fest betas, for having to do the job of an angel with no prior warning. And thank you, once again, to all of my readers. I hope 2018 will bring better stories at the same pace 2017 did. <3