as the title suggested, this post will be filled with my unfiltered thoughts...and that means...you've been warned. if you don't like what you see...just head out...i'm letting off steam from annoyance here in my own blog, and i don't plan to have more added new ones...no thanks. you can always find nice things elsewhere...nobody forcing you to stalk this blog anyway...(well, okay not all parts have negativity...but typically...people only sees the negative...)

1. starting this randomness post with....oppar <3

i'm no biggie fan of generic ballads...and i don't always keep up with osts even though some can be really nice...but...when i just saw jo moon geun's name i just had to try! i mean in the past i've seen my other fav singers do osts...but i don't always end up loving the songs sadly...but i love this one. so heart fluttering. it reminds me of his solo debut days since the past years we've only been exposed to his rocker side mostly...but he's one of those guys who can do anything n i'd still find awesome n love it. heck, even if he's thrown in an idolgroup...ok maybe no...i wouldn't want him getting hate/ignored for not being your generic flower boys hot hot oppars...he's too good to deserve that shiet.

speaking of his solo debut...i didn't realize he performed it on radio show with his band...nostalgic! (though i kinda wish he lose those mustache lol)

and...even though i hate gangnam style with a passion...

this ain't too bad...i survived...it's actually....not bad at all...

if you like this song n want the lyrics translation...you can always find it at my profile...xD

uh'oh...i'm overindulging n suddenly spamming with more n more vids when only one intended...yikes...

why wasn't i in korea during this time? whyyyyyy?

2. produce 101..../ kim seongri's ost

i get back into this topic since i finally found a video i wanna share...xD

so when i think of cringey dramatic fans from produce 101...samuel's fans takes the cake without a doubt. and to a tiny wee bit lesser absurd but no less dramatic...nuest fans...

i mean...whenever i see any samuel article...or video or anything...i'd see fans complaining that mnet n nation producers did him dirty....uhm...how...????? by not giving him a top11 spot? he didn't even get any evil editing...and there's not even hate campaign or anything for him....but his international fans just had to be embarrassing...if i were him...i'd be so stressed out and embarrassed to have such fans...but hey, i'm not him...so what would i know of his mind...

yknow who they did dirty....? a gazilion of trainees you can't even name....

yep....

and...oh...kim seongri says hi...

i might not be the biggest fan of his...but even from the first mission...i saw him as one of the best main vocalists aside a few others like yoo hwiseung, kim jaehan, jo jinhyung, joo jinwoo, jeong dongsu(who never even got to be main vocalist or even 2nd main vocalist throughout the show no thanks to his selflessness)etc....but ppl were always all about kim jaehwan n to a lil lesser extent...park woodam, jung sewoon n maybe kang dongho...but kim seongri really was so underrated...imagine in his call me baby team...he got only a freaking 19 votes or sth....the lowest in his team when he hardcarried the vocals...(the rest were okay but nowhere being near outstanding as him tbh)...and he only survived first elimination barely being in the 50s ranks with that vocals...and during position evaluation...he's the main vocalist...but people all only saw kim yongguk whose parts imo wasn't really worth all the hoopla though he did fine...as was all the members in the team....ppl were all over how he carried the emotions..but imo...mnet's editing also worked in his favour to show how he impacted everyone n naturally viewers would feel affected too...eh...sorry for being impartial n seeing through mnet's editing...

for me...i won't ever make a big hoopla dramatic fit over my kids not getting to top 11...i'm so realistic...but at least they deserve more appreciation than the shiet they got...for all their talents.

i think kim seongri will do good as a ballad singer. in fact, i hope...he'd pursue as a ballad prince soloist thing...that market is less saturated than idolgroup market....and if he couldn't even be appreciated in produce 101...i doubt idolgroup path would do him good...compared to the market that totally value you for your worth...

i mean just look at the wild crazy popularity of wanna one...they're so popular but it's all on looks and charms n so on...no matter how talented they're...i can't see people taking their talents seriously as the main thing...cuz they're too busy fangirling oppar so pretty handsome flower boy hot hot HOT!!!....i mean yeah...idols aren't just about singing talents....but there are idols known for talents even while having other charms....wouldn't it be nicer to be that kinda idol? and i know they're yet to debut...but people would already know their talents somewhat from the show by now yet all the time i see posts of hot hot hot hot they are...(imo, their visuals weren't even all that...lacking uniqueness since fangirls voted for similar kinda visuals...)

right now...i'm so glad and relieved none of my ultimate favs are in wanna one...i always get cringe vibe from their whole overhype...n how torturous would it be if any of my kids were stuck in there n i'd have to follow the whole cringe just to get a glimpse of them....tsk...

speaking of talents n support...i really want to yknow...really be a proper fan of dongsu n namhyung bcuz these kids are so talented n give such good vibes that i think i'll like....but....the problem is....they're too hiphop for my taste....i never like hiphop stuffs....T^T....i used to think i dislike rock...but then i started liking this n that songs from krock, and live bands give me so much satisfaction...n i had to question my music taste again...so...now i consider myself liking at least some types of rock even if not all....i mean...i still don't like heavy metal or sth...yeah...but hiphop...when will i like them?...i'm pretty sure the answer is never...

i guess...whenever i miss dongsu's awesomeness...i'll just watch/listen to this...

T^T....

If you ask me my top#1 vocalist in the whole produce 101...i'd say Dongsu without a doubt...T^T...he's so amazing and unique,...i guess i have a thing for uniqueness...haa n his force on stage/stage presence is no joke...i've thought of him as amazing vocalist, even when i first saw him as rapper 2 in Shock perf before i even knew he's an actual vocalist(main vocalist in his group if not mistaken)...i started watching the show for jang moonbok and never had thought of getting to know the rest at first(though who am i kidding...i knew how it escalated when i watched season 1 for kim juna who was hated as well....xD)...but Dongsu was the first i encountered that made me search for his name...just from watching that shock perf....bcuz i sensed his amazing vocals...xD...i have to say he was my first fav other than moonbok...n if i liked moonbok cuz everyone hated on him...what brought my interest to dongsu was purely his talents...i was sad that he never got the main vocalist position he so deserved bcuz he's too...selfless n not greedy...and always putting the team before his own desire...and i grew so much respect for him bcuz of that....but at the same time it hurt...T^T...at least Yongjin tried to fight for his survival during spring day even though it ended with his team did him dirty....ugh....

3. kard

here's the debut stage of today...

hear the fanchants? yeah...that's in Korea.

so...i've been seeing weird comments...dramatic over nothing as you'd typically see in big fandoms...i told myself to avoid looking at comments for their vids...but hey...i'm just a weak, curious human...:p...so i keep seeing comments like 'international fans always support you'...like...why this person speaking on behalf of all international fans? and also comments like 'they're only popular internationally' 'koreans don't appreciate talents' and so on blablabla...

uhuh...those victim/saviour mentality...please...kard has just debuted like what? 3 days? 4? and you're making big deal about korean sleeping on these peeps who had just debuted less than a week and even are getting special treatment to debut with two songs in mcountdown and already have schedule left and right...and all of that happened in korea and korea sleeping on them?

cmon now...the way i see it...these international fans are feeling entitled over kard just cuz kard made it big internationally before debut. claiming to be the saviour who appreciate them when they're nothing and all those dramatic shiets...peeps making it sounded like they've debuted 10 years and unappreciated...when they're already making buzz even before debut...and how do you know korean ignored them or whatnot? you live in korea? how many koreans you actually meet? or just depend on this n that translations? /facepalm/

ok...done.

more reasons given everyday for me to keep myself at a good distance...or else what's next ridiculous thing i'd be seeing...

if you wanna be saviour so much...there's tons n tons of talented groups...ignored both in korea and international...go save them...thanks.

and think about it...if international fans are all that matters...why do they still use korean when updating sns n stuffs...think people...they need their korean fans...so can we stop bragging already? fandom can be the downfall of an idol...don't be that kinda fandom if you really care for them...well, but if you really want to what can i do? hmmhmm...

for me fans are just fans...rather than fighting fans from where is more special...eh...we're not the celebrities here (are you?)...just take a seat and cheer for opparunnir. easypeasy.

negativity n annoyance aside...

i finally got around to try kard's other new songs...

it's just okay...until i saw a comment saying it's a remake of dsp's old co-ed group....whaaat....

wow...this is revolutionary...4 guys and a girl? dsp...wow...the idea was there...though sadly the girl was underutilized or they could've been more epic tbh....

but kard's fans continue to annoy me...i know this is something every other fandom does...especially big ones...but it doesn't annoy me less just cuz everyone's doing it....bombarding original singer vid with 'kard brought me here' 'i love kard's cover so much' 'kard did so awesome'....i'm like....you commenting in wrong video...dude go shower praises in kard's vid for crying out loud.

and ain't nobody want to know who brought you here...even if you feel the need to let that be known...is it necessary to comment same thing when all other comments have said it? why not just upvote? this is just so freaking annoying.

there's one of vids i posted where people keep coming to say who/what show brought them here...and that's all they've been saying...i had to disable comment for my own peace of mind cuz it's so fking annoying nobody's there to talk bout the song or the singer but just who brought them there...like $%$%%^%&%&%@#$#@^%&^%&

yeah.

another one...

this is actually quite impressive really..."thanks to" in the form of a song...pretty cool...but i'm just a lil sad somin and jiwoo didn't have those solo parts to tell their stories...just the standard chorus and normal talking thanks to...i mean they can do it in singing form too...jiwoo can rap...and somin...maybe she can rap too....xD...overall...i really like this for the meaningfulness alone...and uniqueness, though BM's lyrics kinda made me raise eyebrow....'don't need break' n all...yeah it's all peaches in the beginning...maybe no need to talk so big unrealistically...eventually you'll need break...i'm just being realistic...it's nice to be so eager and b with optimism n energy...but it's too early to be making too many promises...even though all groups sorta do that...i wish they didn't...and when they started shouting cities...it only reminded me again that i'm not a target market...lol. i wished they had just gone by mentioning specifically cities related to them like where they're from n so on...bcuz once you mention a few naturally others would expect the same cuz what makes them not worthy same treatment? (unless they're mentioning cities they went to specifically) it's the same like when idols reply to a few fans...everyone would start to bombard and expect to be replied too, and they can't possibly reply to everyone if they get like thousands of comments right? probly why it's wiser to not reply at all...haa.

petty issues aside...i actually really like the song, i find it heartwarming somehow...and really feel good.

4. vav + some good old times...

my happy dose...my potential bank account breaker...

perf of the day...

it's so nice to have a feel-good go-to when all else make me want to rant and rant...and get annoyed n so on...whew....but i've been noticing now whenever they have two outfits...it's always the hyungs + ayno(who's the middle in terms of age rank) wear the same thing...and the maknaes wear the same thing...xD...can i have some surprise? (like stellar when minhee wears white and the rest of them wear black lol)....no? okay...no biggie...they can just grab whatever  random shirt they have to perform n it still wouldn't make the perf any less awesome...their not-so-flashy wardrobe for the past week have made me appreciate them for what they are even more...regardless of styling n fancy clothes...and i guess that's a great achievement...xD...i think that's also helped by the 'fact' that they're already good looking that they don't need flashy style at all...

and i've been noticing their song/perfs weren't cut this week so far...that makes me so happy~~~

i've also been noticing their k-fandom is really awesome to keep sending them food support...and the members would always share pics of 'em...but i just find it cute that baron actually post proof shot that he finished the food(although we'd never know but still...)...speaking of which...it seems liking all comments have been getting more n more the trend...i was surprised to see baron liked my comment...but then again i've been noticing lately baron n st.van have joined the trend started by ziu in vav...haa...hyungs stalking n copying maknae's method...but i'm more surprised to see baron's post in english(though his tags would have random latin/spanish/idk tbh words which i find more amusing xD)...well, i guess they're all pretty good in english...or at least half the group...

many accounts i followed, i notice have been doing this 'like all comments' thing....but yknow what/who affected me the most?

when Ryu(Battle) liked my comment...i'm like....no no no no no...that did not happen...noooo oppar noticed me???!! /cue earth shattering screeching yelling/

lol. so silly...

i guess liking all comments trend kinda...takes away the genuineness...but...it does feel nice, and you feel appreciated, just keep in mind that it doesn't mean anything so...keep your emotions n expectations in check and don't demand for more...

the fandom is pretty lonely for me though...yknow how i like going around commenting or talking(on the net at least) when i feel like we have common interest?...well...i guess being a noob fan...being ignored by the longtime fans even if i say/ask anything...maybe that's normal...or maybe i expected too much based on my own past experience...yknow how i was an active member in battle fan community? i'd have to shamelessly admit that i contributed a lot to the site's friendliness factor...when i was the noob in the beginning...the moderators n admins were welcoming...but rather...in that typical stiff detached way...formal n copy paste like words...nothing personalized except the name yknow..., but i was thankful enough n quickly made myself at home and welcomed every other newbie who introduced themselves with much enthusiasm...and somehow even the mods n admins loosened up n played around with the members and the newbies felt welcomed and at that time...the place was really active and filled with friendliness n liveliness, it was like a happy home where the members just chill around n have good times with each other...and i admit i anticipated so much going there that i didn't mind not sleeping at all n slept in class or in public transport during the daytime....we(early members) didn't treat newbies like they're beneath us...we made them feel like they're already friends with us for long time and that they're already in n didn't need to feel awkward/inferior...at least that's what i did...i didn't need to see familiar name to show enthusiasm towards them..as long as they're being nice n make effort to say something...i'd show them how excited i am to get to know them...i was so comfy there...i think i even shared personal stuffs...like diary....ugh...cringe cringe cringe cringe cringe....(no no, i'm not judging anyone else who does that kinda thing...i'm just cringing at myself n frankly...you might find it cringe in a few years time too)...reading those stuffs again...i'm starting to miss my old friends from there...but they definitely have forgotten me...even my so called bestest friend did...how could i expect anyone else didn't...apparently...i'm that friend people want to be with and hold onto when they're at the rock bottom of their lives and once things went up...i'm no longer needed cuz they've got fancier new friends n a whole lotta more confidence to pursue better...it's always been that way anyway...it hurt me the most that the friend who on multiple occassions had made me believe we had real solid friendship going on even as internet buddies...who kept me awake all night everyday just to play games and chat with her in the community and who had sorta convinced me that one day we'd meet and have some cheap local food together...that was the friend that treated me as passing stranger when i congratulated her upon seeing her wedding pics in fb years later after she had become way more glamorous n fashionable n successful than the time i first known her as that timid tomboyish girl who loved to sing n hated makeups/dressing up......such was the strength of our friendship...wow...why am i telling personal things again? cringe...but at least this involved internet thingy...

anyway....

eversince then...all other groups fan communities/forums n so on...i've never met the same vibe ever again...not even half as friendly...i guess...the admins n mods also played huge role in shaping up a community....like in a ZE:A fan community...i was warned on my first day just for posting more than one post consecutively in chatbox...without having other members responding first cuz it's considered 'spam'...and it's a freaking chatbox...

oh well...enough of the past...

let's be livin good...:p

i think...this song will go into my 'feeling down' playlist...though....err...i don't have such playlist...lol. 

but you get it, don't you...

alrite...seeya when i seeya~