Well, part 2 of my fic anniversary celebration in this month, because i'm bad at posting stuffs i intended to on time.

 

This time...the two fics will be both completed fics yay. And these are quite the fics i'm very proud of(especially the first one), so excuse me if this post gets very self absorbed/indulgent...you've been warned and you may avoid it now...lol. but of course you may stay even to just check out the songs/singers/links, i'd be happy.

 

And just heads up, i will be making several more posts like this on this month since it appeared i had created a lot of fics that i guess i'm fond or that i find notable in the month of may.

 

 

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1. Bukan Sendirian 

Happy 8th Anniversary, Bukan Sendirian.

Aka, my probably best fic, according to my own ideal. Yknow, since i barely have readers, i am my main reader, critic, etc. as a reader for other writers, i am pretty good at sharing my analysis and evaluation of what i read so why not for my own fic too? except, i don't share them in comment section...

I always have things that i would regret or yknow...wonder what if i had done differently...with my other fics...

but this fic, aka my first Malay fic, probably my only completed malay fic,....no matter how many times i reread it....

it's perfect.

i don't usually say that for my own fics cuz...yikes....but i dare say that for this fic. idea/creativity wise, it's nothing crazy or groundbreaking really, maybe even a little cheesy depending on how you view things...but it fulfills my desire to write wholesome, meaningful maybe even helpful/healing piece of writing. it has lesson delivered not in too preachy way, it has poignancy delivered with sprinkles of humour/lightheartedness, it has a solid connection of sequence with perfect ending, which...is usually not my forte...i tend to...i guess, disappoint with endings...depending on how you view things(i guess i kinda like my endings, but ideally and conventionally, they're usually not considered the 'good' endings)

The moment i started this fic i knew i would have no readers, because it's in malay and i know malay readers only go for mainstream popular stuffs yawns...and this fic is anything but all those...with the most random selection of characters that were mostly unknown especially the main characters.

its's something purely inspired by 2 things.

1. my desire to prove to myself that a malay fic that isn't the same ol plot can exist. at that time i had been looking for malay fics and i guess, i just hated everything i saw since they reminded me of tv3malay dramas...which...ugh...

2. the song Not Alone by Park Jungmin, which...translates to Bukan Sendirian (more or less) in malay.

^yeah this song

 

And that's the message of the fic. delivered through the two main characters Jungjin and Taehwa...who, both were representatives from my fav groups A'ST1, and BATTLE, and both also happened to be team mates in project group called M.E.N...it's a fic purely about human connections and friendship with the core subject being loneliness and how it affect people(idk why many of my fics linger around this topic, lol was i lonely? maybe? but did i hate it? maybe not as much as you'd think), and how it's the connections between humans that save them, in different ways. our main protagonist Jungjin lived in self loathe and 'curse' of society, and isolation when his entire family died of some tragedies, and he's the only one survived by chance. Enter happy go lucky/talkative yet insightful n deep, Taehwa who came across Jungjin during his self harm attempt, and their friendship begun, and so did Jungjin's journey of opening his eyes to the importance of human relation n how taking a small initiative could change others' lives. and i loved it that for once i manage to do just that. and with just a dash of religious aspects, which i'm happy with, religion is often villainized or just ignored, and often forgotten that it's not a subject in itself to be preached about, but it's ingrained/incorporated in every aspect of our lives. the thing is...it feels like people has lost understanding of what is religion(yeah the agenda has worked unfortunately)...which is why they can dish out the criticism they have for religion as opposed to life pleasures/'freedom' that they preach for...well, i'm sure even here, it'd spark unnecessary argument and i feel like no matter how i try to explain...we only accept the perspective we prefer so...yeah, i'll leave it at that. 

Even me talking about the fic is not enough to express how satisfied i am with this fic. even if sadly i won't be able to share my feelings with people since it's in malay which means no reader even if i promote it, it doesn't matter. not like my english fics have reader anyway lol. what matters is this is a fic i can be sure to remain proud of even when i could change opinions with my other fics with age and change of perspectives.

of course i can always translate it to english...but there are a lot of nuance that will be lost. because my malay is well, damn good lol. though maybe because it's so good it came off a little cheesy/awkward since we're more used to bahasa pasar(unrefined/broken language).

anyway, for those who are curious, of the main characters even if you are not going to read it...here's one of their mvs as a group i just randomly picked. (you can click the link in paragraph above for link to their playlist in my channel)

^ Jungjin was the first to sing, Taehwa was the second to sing. (they both sing the majority of the song anyway)

ok forget it i'm feeling generous, here's another one.

^ as you can see they sing majority of the songs...because they're the only singers in the group besides the rapper. the rest were model/actor, and this group was formed when they were in celebrity football team. and yes they had performed duet perf too.i mean, they sing so good omg.

 

 

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2. One to Want : Countdown to Escape

Happy 6th anniversary

 

This is....actually a collection of drables, each drabble written in the length of one song from my player shuffle...

I was having a hard time during this time, and writing was my escapism, but at the same time, i had very little time for myself. so, i decided to do this. my fics were more or less based on the songs i listened to while writing. Most of these fics were thought of and given birth in less than 5 minutes. It's not easy to came up with ideas...most of them were very short one paragraph thing anyway. but the things i struggled with also gave inspiration since it's the easiest to draw inspiration from in such short time.

In other words, many of the drabbles here were very personal, but many were wildly random too. i guess the personal part is how i channel my mood/feelings into them but many times i just took idea from the song/singer because cmon i had less than 5minutes. so the stories were either very personal or very...out there...like...i'm randomly clicking one drabble as example... there's no way [drunk] would be personal, since i don't drink and i'm no cannibal either...that one was obviously inspired by the singer's concept and song. [he], the second last drabble was a random scene involving characters from my Monthly fic series, i guess you could take it as a spoiler of sorts...it definitely had nothing to do with me. and [hope], the first drabble obviously had to do with my personal thoughts...actually even half of my very fictional drabbles were sprinkled with some sort of personal aspect even if in very vague/tiny percentage.

sometimes i reread them and wondered how would it go if i take any/some of the stories and develop it into an actual fic. but i'm actually satisfied with how they end...so it's hard to take the risk to ruin them especially when they're not even things i would think of when properly developing ideas, maybe some or many were even better...i guess being spontaneous has its charm.

And this fic is also a good place to explore music in my playlist at that time...actually i just shoved in all songs i had and shuffled so the ones that came up weren't even 1% probably. not all were songs i regularly listened to, but i guess, more than 75% were songs i loved. and best part, i included links in my drabbles so you could just go to listen to them. there's just one song called Macaron i didn't manage to find on youtube anymore...but i still have it in my storage so i'll upload it and update the link, once i translate the lyrics.

Other than that, yeah....this compilation is quite special..many times it made me thought...'what was i thinking when i wrote that' 'did i really wrote that' and just....reconnecting with my feelings during that period of time. it's nice.

i feel like with how incapable i am to write these days...maybe i should do a one drabble a day thing like this particular collection.