So.... I guess it is very relatable for some people like me.

I used to have a crush on this guy for 3 years, however I never really talk to him. He used to be so unattarctive but I still like him but never dare to tell anyone then suddenly one year later... BOMB! So many girls fall for him for his sudden change, he became a lot more thinner and his face just glow. IDK how.

Then I heard that he's in a relationship with one of my close friends so I tried my best to shut him off my mind but it never works. I never dare to look at him straight in the face nor talk to him. He's hot when I'm just a nerdy girl in huge spectacles (really guys I'm not kidding hahaha). So this friend of mine keep telling me that he gave her this, sings a song for her and even so caring. Only God knows how torn I am when  I heard it all. Yep, my friend is pretty and cute while I'm under the shades.

Soon, we become classmates, 3 of us. But they broke up bcoz my friend actually cheated on him. But she told me that she still loves him so I can only said it in my mind that how can you say that when you FREAKIN LIED TO HIM?!! I saw how my friend actually kept her eyes on him sometimes, I sat at the back of the class so I practically saw everything. 

Because of me being such a nerd there are some guys who picked on me, once I got so annoyed that I almost cried when 'he' stood up for me. He told them to leave me alone and without saying anything he left the class. My mind started to play all these bells and unicorns hahaha. I couldn't get rid of him, so I just watch him everyday not being brave enough to actually talk to him.

Occasionally, I become an english tutor in the class. So he started talking to me and ask me to check his essays which I did. I was such a dork, being happy with just a look from him. There was this one time that I actually stare blankly at him for idk but it's long enough from him turn his back and look at me.

Because the teacher is teaching at the front, he mouthed asking me why? Is there something behind him, but I didn't answer him till some moment that I realised it's not a dream. I turned away and Idk how much I wanted to bury myself alive from embarassement lol.

The was on our senior dinner, I took off my glasses and actually have my neighbour to put some make up on my face. I dress up pretty well even when it's awkward, I heard some girls actually said I'm pretty lol lol lol hahahahahaha. I struggled a bit with the contact lens when my eyelash got stuck in my right eye somehow. I only ever told my bestfriend about my crush on him so she took a photo of him and sent it to me. He's handsome as always so my friend asked me to go talk to him and that is my last shot before school ends.

I tried but I was so shy. So I didn't. He stood on the stage for a perfomance and with my super shaking hands, I snap a photo of him. But it's so blurr that I couldn't even see his face. AGAIN I DIDN'T TALK TO HIM.

Finally, the last day came. Everyone was busy collecting their books from the class when I saw him alone at the hallway. It took me all my braveness when I boldly walked up to him. I remember vividly how I was shaking at that time.

"Are you going home?" THE FIRST EVER FULL SENTENCE I SAID TO HIM.

"Yes, you too?" him being nice never failed to make my weak heart flutter.

I nodded and for the last time I said "Bye, goodluck."

Then he walked away when I ran back to my hostle to find my BFF, I hugged her and told her that I ACTUALLY TALK TO HIM.

We jumped together laughing like the pair of dorks we are.

So time passes and I saw him again for a scholarship iv. He greeted me and I smiled like I saw heaven.

I miss him a lot during the holidays, but again. I couldn't talk to him. So I waved my hand at him and got in the car.

That's the last time I saw him and he got the scholarhsip when I don't. He texted me asking if I got it but I was crying so bad at that time, I had my hopes on that particular thing but I failed it. I did my best.

I congratulate him and he said that the course I applied to is too competitive and that I supposed to choose the same one as his. That made me smile,

Till this day I never see him again when I recently got the news that he's in a 'some' relationship with my other close friend.

I am torn.

Heartbroken bcoz other than my BFF, she knows how much I liked him. And just a week before I went out for a movie with her. She could have told me then.

So that night I cried a river for someone who might never think of me like I think of him.

I regret it bcoz I could have at least tried, told him how I feel. 

I changed a lot  now, I never think of having a crush anymore. I no longer wear my spectacles on and many of my friends said that I look beautiful now. Some guys actually tried to be nice to me and it hits me.

IF THEY MET ME WHEN I WAS THE NERDY GIRL I WAS, WILL THEY MAKE A MOVE ON ME?

Idk , I still think of him sometimes, help me heal the pain....