wow...after such a long slump...i finally have a fic to be added to my 'completed' list....

sobbing...

unfortunately...i still didn't succeed to decrease any of the incomplete fic list...lol.

still like 40 incomplete ones and adding...

i need new inspiration....i want to write...moreee (oh my greed).....but i'm lazy n uninspired to continue any existing fic right now....(yikes)...not to mention the lack of time n my ty depressing job the life out of my soul...

 

and then there's the poems too...

when will it reach 100?

but bcuz i have way more personal connections to my poems...so i need to take more breaks in between...when same emotion recycled...the freshness n creativity decreases...bcuz there can be so much variety of emotion/events at a time to inspire...

what more with my annoying dull life that is so damn hard to find an open exit to break free from...

round n round n round n round...

is it worth it?

i know the answer damn clear...but i can't find justification that can be understood by the world not made of dreams n dreamers but reality...

being inspired is sucha  whirlwind of indescribable satisfying feelings...you feel it in every heartbeat...

those who understand...understand right?

completing a fic gives a great feeling too...a testament of complete flow of inspiration

so today...i feel great...

though tomorrow...another y generic day...(yeah...freaking sunday)...

i don't want to live in regrets of not breaking free...but i can't afford yet another recklessness too.

not at the moment at least.

but what am i doing? wasting time when i know i deserve better?

i'm stuck in the wrong side of the universe...

trying to save myself...but i can't seem to have enough power to pull myself out of this quicksand...

nobody would/could help pull me out either...this is my own battle to fight...

it's tiring...can't win...can't run away...

only when i write...i escape...

but that is so temporary...there's no true happiness in temporary...

especially temporary that always end in two days that passes by too fast...

all the places that would've suited what i can offer...always complaint about the quality they get...

but then they never give chance to something other than their typical standard when i know i can give so much better than the ones they chose...

the world is like this...for some/many people...full of bitterness...

while for some...no need to do anything to have luck n all goodness handed to them...

that's life.

so bitter...yet with bitterness...comes inspiration too...

but at the moment...i'm out of inspiration...

one that can really make me forget everything but simply me into the universe that is the inspiration...

that's what i need...

where are you? faster come...

i think i need to write more oneshots so that i'll have more completed fics...muhaha...cheat but who cares? sometimes something so superficial like number is what makes me happy.

today, the number finally increase after over a year.

and for that i'm happy too.

thank you my new muse...lol

 

and now, presenting my finally updated list of completed fics...(in aff i mean)

 

Title | Main character(s)/pairing | Length | Date Completed

1. Heart for 2 | Im Siwan(ZE:A) | Oneshot | 14th December 2011
2. Ballad Prince | Hwang Kwanghee (ZE:A) | Oneshot | 28th December 2011
3. Don't Forget Your Shades | Kim Taeheon(ZE:A) & Kim Jisook(Rainbow) | 6 Chapters | 3rd March 2012
4. After the Rain...Be Happy | Park Gyuri(KARA) & Eunhyuk(Super Junior) & Im Siwan(ZE:A) | 23 Chapters | 5th July 2012
5. Begin & End With Kiss | Hwang Kwanghee(ZE:A) & Kevin Kim(ZE:A) | 3 Chapters | 26th August 2012
6. Tweet Me | Noeul(Rainbow) & Jung Heecheol(ZE:A) | Oneshot | 9th December 2012
7. Mr. Romantic & Miss Popular | Oh SeungA(Rainbow) | 28 Chapters | 20th January 2013
8. Who Wouldn't You Tweet Me? | Jung Heecheol(ZE:A) & Noeul(Rainbow) | Oneshot | 17th February 2013
9. Mystical Gift | OC & Kevin Kim(ZE:A) | 2 Chapters | 22nd April 2013
10. Floral Rain | Kevin Kim(ZE:A) & Hwang Kwanghee(ZE:A) | 19 Chapters | 11th October 2013
11. One Less Lonely Night | Hwang Kwanghee(ZE:A) & Kevin Kim(ZE:A) | Oneshot | 21st October 2013
12. Chrysanthemums for My Dimwitted Supernova | OC & Park Hyungsik(ZE:A) | Oneshot | 16th November 2013
13. More Than Words | Kevin Kim(ZE:A) & Hwang Kwanghee(ZE:A) & Im Siwan(ZE:A) | 6 Chapters | 26th January 2014
14. S.P.E.C.T.A.C.U.L.A.R | ZE:A | 13 Chapters | 2nd February 2014
15. Bukan Sendirian | Park Jungjin(J-BRO/MEN/A'ST1) & Jin Taehwa(MEN/Battle) | Oneshot | 2nd May 2014
16. Love Song in May | OC & OC | 4 Chapters | 31st May 2014
17. June's Promise | OC & OC & OC | 6 Chapters | 25th June 2014
18. Juliet of July | OC & OC & OC | 6 Chapters | 1st August 2014
19. My Bandmate's Wedding Singer | Park Jungmin(SS501) | Oneshot | 5th August 2014
20. An August to Cherryish | OC & OC & OC | 5 Chapters | 19th September 2014
21. A September to Remember | OC & OC & Hong Jinyoung & OC | 3 Chapters | 12th October 2014
22. Hwang Soo Yeon (황수연) | Hwang Sooyeon(Produce 101) | Oneshot | 12th March 2016

 

in all honesty...i don't think there's chance i'd be able to go back to my older abandoned fics to complete them...

but i hope by the end of 2016..i'll have at least a few more titles to be added into this list...

oh numbers...how do i love thee?