Today, a brilliant sunset finds me writing another blog post, yey! The pale blue sky above, turning lavender and pink near the horizon, the breeze swiping away the suffocating feeling of the season’s heat, a glass of iced tea under the shade of the mulberry tree and my laptop wheezing on the garden table is my setting on this lazy August Saturday. I’m drawing inspiration from the rainbow reflections of the last playful sunbeams shining through my glass, because, honestly, I can’t think of a better way to start this post.

Has it been a year already?

When I started writing on aff a year ago, I didn’t know what to expect (I certainly didn’t expect to be where I am today). I’m awkward with communication and it was the first time I sort of published something I’d written. It was just one brave click urged by my stubborn mind. It was a while after my mind, as per the frequent experience of people with slivers of philosophy and curiosity in their bones, had come up with another existential idea: that life is like sunshine. Solar light is a blend of literally every color in existence. Life is a blend of potentially every experience possible. We experience different colors of life, depending on the time, the place, the situation, our personality; some might experience more colors and others less, some might experience unusual colors and others may stay within the spectrum of the majority, but it all blends in the end, for everyone regardless, as “life”.

Bearing that in mind, when I started with my stories, I wanted to show to my (supposed, at this stage) future readers as many colors of life as I could describe. Some of the colors were bound to be unfamiliar to me, but I was determined to learn about them alongside my readers, as we’d explore them together. I changed my mind, when my readers proved to be more than two (which was my initial ambition :3), and I thought that maybe I should write more about the happier colors of life. If people chose to honor me by taking the time to read my stories, then the least I could do would be to try and make their days a bit brighter, because we all deserve to be happy. And I changed my mind again, when I started making good friends (who are very dear to me), trying to give more than just a story, and create something, however miniscule, in the world. Which brings us up to the present day, with a combination of all of the above.

I realized that I don’t have to show you all the colors of life; if I show you glimpses of the happier colors in life, maybe I can motivate you to find them yourself. And by doing that, I can give you more (like a Chinese proverb about fishing suggests).

I don’t have to show you the sunshine; I just have to make you curious about it.

But in the year I’ve spend here, I haven’t just been giving. I’ve been receiving great things, too. Numbers and I don’t get along very well, so I don’t pay them much attention in total; I am, however, sincerely very grateful for everyone who decides to join me, very happy and eager to spread and share The Happiness ^.^ Every sort of feedback and support I’ve been receiving is also greatly treasured. I consider myself very lucky to have met people from all over the world and made friends with some them; they’ve taught me many things –including how utterly frustrating the internet can be, because I want to cuddle the life out of them and yet that’s physically impossible and I just can’t. In a reality which is not particularly kpop-friendly, I’ve found sweet little angels out there who fangirl and joke around with me, making me feel less lonely and weird in this world. They accept me and understand me, they care for me just as I care for them, and we support each other through exam periods and hardships of life. I hope I can always be a worthy friend ◡‿◡✿

So, to all my friends (who have been honest and caring and loving to me), to all those who abandoned ship along the way (I hope you will forgive me if I did something wrong), to all my lovely subscribers (those wonderful people who are willing to nosebleed due to my fluff bombs), to all my silent readers (I know you’re out there and I appreciate you just as much), and to all those who will hopefully join us in the future (everyone is always welcome^^), I want to say:

Thank you.

I usually talk too much, but I think that some words (like the above) are much more powerful in their simplicity, so I will leave them alone this once, trusting that you believe my gratitude is truly heartfelt.

I am a mess of a very emotional kitten right now, but according to my essay plan (which I very responsibly made while I was still sober and before I started hitting myself with my feelings) I should talk about my future plans. Well, I’m planning to continue setting a minefield of fluff for you with ‘A guide to romance’, hoping you won’t get bored of me or die too much in cotton candy crossfire. I might start another chaptered story as well within the course of the next year, but nothing has been firmly decided yet (the odds are it will be baekyeol though, if I know my brain at all >.<). I might prepare another small treat for you, like ‘I will.’, which is highly more likely to fit between the scheduled mental breakdowns of my final year in university. All in all, you can expect very normal stuff from this very normal kitten author =^.^=

Okay, this got long –unsurprisingly…– and I have to go now, because there is an actual little kitten asking demanding to be given affection, and it has been pawing on my ankles for attention for a while now. I will probably end up as its human pillow again; that seems to be the purpose for which it has adopted me. Such is life.

May rainbow sunshine smile down on you today! Kitty~