first of all this is my first blog ever in aff,  as you know this is the last day of EXO'LuXion. I don't know, I just can't contain this. I was scrolling my ig's timeline, reading all the updates about the concert, I teared up because everything that every members said were so sincere. Yes, they're an idol, they also works for a living, for their family, and for the company, but the thought of them working themselves hard for us too is just too much for me to think. I know this may sounds too much for you, or I'm just some over reacted fan, lame, pathetic, or something. But I really love them so much, true that I might not there since the first day they debuted, I like them months after they have debuted, I love them after that. But as the time goes by, I just really really love them, they give me strength through their works, songs, smiles, and everything. I'm not a good girl with a good family, I have my problems everyday, yes I have my bestfriends, but sometimes when I couldn't share my stories with them, Exo's songs are the one that calms me, though that I have another idol, but him and Exo are really the one in my heart.

Sometimes it hurts to know that you are just a fan, it hurts that you can't talk to them directly saying how much you love them, I don't love them in a way like girlfriend-boyfriend love, I love them because they always there even though they're not by my side. It's really hurts to see them have a lot of haters, but it's life right? not everyone gonna loves you.

Sometimes I cried myself to sleep because I'm just too broken thinking about them, how I will never see them live with my own eyes until I die, thinking how I will never be able to thank them directly for giving me strengths, they're the ups and downs in my life, I love them as much as I love my family and bestfriends, they're really something else in my heart.

Sometimes it's really hurt to realise that I'm like tinkerbell who can just love peterpan which is them, and only able to smile when peterpan find his wendy. I only can support him by buying their official stuffs, but will I be able to say my gratitude towards them? to be able to hold them? there's just a treally tiny possibility for it to be happening.

I don't know about you guys, but Exo really gave a great impact on me for the past 2-3 years in my life until now, I cried when they cry, I cried when they say they love the fans, I cried watching them growing in front of my eyes. I cried watching them working their asses off until they gets sick, having injures, and everything. I cried when they have scandals about Yifan and Lu Han.

One thing I know as a fangirl since 2009, Idols are human too, they are not perfect, they cry too, they feels hurts too, and they're not that smart to hide their pain for some times. I grow up as a fangirl, I just can't get out from this life nor that I wanted to go out. I want to stay.

As for the other thing, since I was once a hater of one singer, but now I'm not. I learned something, it's free for you to like or dislike the entertainers/idols/singers/actors/ or someone, but it's not right for you to spill out your hates carelessly, they're human too. As a fan, I know that fans have their eyes to see the goods and bads of their idols, but if you're a hater you can't see the good side of the idols bc you hate them. Just bc you hate the idols or the fans it's not right for you to spill hurting words to them, the fans will fight you back, they will not let you to say those words. I suggest you to ignore the idols or the fans you hate, I suggest you to just support your idols' back and your fellow fans, instead of hating others, just let them be and keep supporting your idols positively. ignore the hater bc haters gonna hate right? it's their sin to hate/bash you and your idols. just don't give two flying s about haters.

and lastly, I just wanted to say I love every members of Exo that helps me and be there for me and for giving me a lots of feelings that sometimes making me faint over places or screaming like maniacs,I thank them so much for their hard works, for showing and giving their loves for the fans, for me.

I want them to know, that me, we, Exo-Ls will always support them, no matter what happens, please don't blame yourself when you makes mistakes on stage and saying that you're sorry for not able to give perfect performances. Please continue to smile with us, making histories together.

I'm just like Tinkerbell that will always love and support you, even when you have found your Wendys.