„Myungsoo, I don't want this! How often do I have to tell you? Do I have to spell it, write it down, shout it out loud for you to finally get it? I don't need a babysitter, I don't need anyone. Get the out of my house! I mean it, little brother!”

Sunggyu was trembling, his hands shaking. His neck vein stood out proudly, he was ready to kick his opponent's .. if only. If only.

“Hyung, don't be such a self centered brick and let me help you! It's been years, five ing years. When will you get the over it?”

Myungsoo crossed his arms in front of his broad chest, not wanting to give up. He was sick of trying but he knew he was the only one left in Sunggyu's life. There was a goal to reach and the raven haired man would succeed. no. matter. what.

“Watch your language!”

A snort.

“Excuse me, you started this mess. I'm allowed to talk to you however I want to, Kim Sunggyu!”

Sunggyu closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get a grip of himself. There was no way he would lose his focus, he couldn't. He wouldn't.

“Respect. Your. Elders. I'm still your older brother!”

Another snort.

“You? Please. My older brother is someone I used to admire, looked up to. An intimidating young man everyone was jealous of. My older brother could walk! You're only a stupid cripp-.”

Smash.

A scream of pain.

The sound of someone dropping down on the floor.

A whine.

“Hyung, the , I still want to become a dad in the future!”

A silent sound escaped Sunggyu's lips, more a groan than a laugh. His fingers moved their way to the wheels and slowly he turned around, leaving his brother, who was still holding his crotch with a pained expression on his face, behind.

He wanted to become a dad as well. There were so many things he wanted to do in his life. So friggin many.

Sunggyu used to be a dreamer, now he was a loser.

His wheelchair had almost reached his room when Myungsoo's voice rang in his ears again.

“He'll be here tomorrow at 8am. Please take a shower before that.”

He wished he could hit Myungsoo again in this very moment.

Kim Sunggyu was 24 years old. If you asked him about his person, that's what he'd reply. That. No more, no less. Kim Sunggyu, a 24 year old.

However, if you asked him further question, the reply would be “I died at the age of 19.”.

After that, he'd disappear from your view.

Truth to be told, Sunggyu was depressed. The last time he was in a good mood was years ago and his thoughts got affected by it. He had to fight the feeling of being sad, hopeless, helpless, anxious, sad, empty and most of all worthless on a daily basis. Every paper of a toilet paper was more worth than his life. Activities that once made his life liveable didn't matter, were forgotten, gone. The few bits of food he swallowed every day were forced. The only thing he wanted to do was to sleep. Forever.

However, suicide had never been an option. He was dead already, he felt dead. Every day. Every week. Every month. Every year. Always.

Closing the eyes for the rest of one's existence sounded like a good option but Sunggyu was scared. He feared death. As much as he feared life.

He was torn.

There were no reasons to live yet no reasons to die.

Everything was dull.

His hands hovered over the wheels before he pulled the breaks. There he was standing. Sitting.

The movements of the wheelchair were stopped. Just like his life stopped years ago.

Sunggyu's eyes roamed the room. Nothing had changed in the years, nothing.

Everything was clean, too clean, too neat, too perfect. The only person who was allowed to enter his house, besides Myungsoo, was the housemaid.

She was the reason why Sunggyu had clothes to wear, food to eat and no dirt to lay his eyes on.

The Kim resident. A beautiful house, a beautiful garden, a beautiful everything.

His dad used to be the CEO of a well known company, earning enough money to keep his family members alive and happy.

That is, until the day he died.

Sunggyu didn't have to worry about paying bills but what was money compared to love. To family.

Myungsoo moved out a while ago, not being able to stand the situation any longer. He was now happily sharing a small but cozy apartment with the love of his life. He was happy.

He had always been happy.

His gaze fell on old pictures. Childhood.
Sunggyu's childhood was- perfect. Too perfect to be true. He grew up well.

Leader of a band, school president, smartest student, most popular and always well liked. His life was a true bliss. Was. Past tense.

Looking at the pictures of his friend and himself hurt. They had lost contact. Sunggyu broke it off. With everyone.

He couldn't stand seeing the word 'pity' written all over each of their faces. Them trying to fake a smile, wanting to appear reassuring. It was horrible.

“You'll get better”, they said, “at least you live.”
No. He didn't want to live.

Seconds passed, minutes, hours even. The sun had already set and he was alone.

Myungsoo had left. The housemaid had left. Sunggyu stayed. It wasn't like he was able to flee anyway.

He managed to drift off into a restless sleep at 4 in the morning, nightmares had been haunting him ever since the accident had happened. It was hell. Everything about his life was hell.

The clock hit 8am, the door bell rang, and Sunggyu continued sleeping.

Another ring of the bell.

But Sunggyu didn't hear.

Another.

And another.

He didn't wake up.

The man standing in front of the door sighed, getting slightly frustrated. Myungsoo had told him to be there at sharp 8 in the morning.

“Sunggyu will kill you if you're late”, he said, “he's a scary old man!”

He was 10 seconds late, according to his watch, the old man couldn't be that strict now could he?

A sigh escaped his lips, desperately trying to come up with a solution.

One, two, one two... the young man jumped from one leg on the other. He always did, it helped him concentrate.

One, two, one, two.

Nothing.

He growled, tousling his hair with his right hand in the meantime.

Too. ing. Frustrating.

One, two, one, two.

One, two, one, two.

The man decided to check his phone for the nth time, hoping Myungsoo had finally replied.

He had.

God bless.

“His room is the one with the balcony, good luck.”

What?!

It was in that moment that he heard a bird chirping. It didn't take long for him to find the little guy who was happily singing from the bottom of his lungs. A balcony.

Bingo.

The young man, whose name was Woohyun, looked into the sky, a smile on his face.

“Thanks for the sign.” He giggled at his own actions.

Yes, he was a religious man.

Luck was on his side, Woohyun found out, as he saw the tree right next to the balcony, practically begging to get climbed.

And being the sportive guy he was, it was a piece of cake.

Being on the balcony, however, made him realize how high the platform he was standing on actually was.
Woohyun had never been too fond of heights, scrap that, he was scared as hell.

He closed his eyes, performing some breathing exercises that he was once told would help, and tried to remember what the reason for him standing right there, right then, was in the first place.

Done.

Back on track.

The curtains of Sunggyu's room weren't closed completely which allowed Woohyun to peek in. It was a nice room, bright.

Too clean for his liking (because please you don't live if you don't create a mess) but it was nice.

One thing that surprised him, tho, was that it didn't look like a room of an old man. It gave off the feeling of being the room of a teenager more than anything.

Woohyun just shrugged and started banging his hand against the glass, finally wanting to actually meet this Sunggyu person.

He had heard a lot. Now he wanted to see if it was right what people told him.

Nothing. No movement.

He continued slamming his hand against the glass, desperately wanting to leave the balcony.

“Sunggyu?! Kim Sunggyu?! Are you there?”

Nothing. Again.

Or not.

He noticed something. Oh. At the second look he realized that the blanket that was rested on the bed moved.

Sunggyu was still asleep?

“Yah, Sunggyu wake up and let me in!”

Woohyun wasn't sure if the other was even able to hear him but it was worth a try.

“KIM SUNGGYU!”

Sunggyu groaned, forcing his eyes to open. What the?
He was awoken by a yell that scarily resembled his name. But who?
Everyone who was ever willingly entering his house owned a key. And even Myungsoo wasn't stupid enough to forget his.

Myungsoo.

“He'll be here tomorrow at 8am.”

!

His upper body shot up within a blink of an eye, making him feel dizzy for a moment.

Seeing everything clearly again, he noticed a person standing in front of the balcony door.

If this was a dream, Sunggyu would've wanted to wake up. Straight away.

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN FRONT OF MY ROOM, YOU ERT!”

A chuckle.
A chuckle?

The stranger dared to laugh at him?

That was it, Sunggyu had enough.

Never had he gotten out of bed so fast. After sitting safely in the wheelchair he made his way over to the other man right away.

The closer he got, the more obvious was the growing smile on the other's face.

And it was endearing like nothing else (not Sunggyu's thought, definitely not Sunggyu's thought).

“Hi”, just that. A simple 'hi' was said the moment Sunggyu dared to open the door.

Anger. Wasn't Sunggyu angry only a few seconds ago?

“Who are you?”, his voice was almost.. soft. Sunggyu was surprised himself.

“Nam Woohyun, it's nice to meet you! And you definitely don't look like an old man to me. How old are you, if I may ask?”

Woohyun was obviously confused. It was almost cute (almost).

“I'm 24, probably older than you. So please stop being so impolite and call me Hyung, understand? Also, the are you doing in my house at this kind of hour? And how did you even get up here?”

There it was again, Sunggyu's anger. The shock of meeting the other vanished and got replaced by Sunggyu's everyday feelings.

He didn't know if it was a good thing. It probably wasn't.

Sunggyu had felt alive a few seconds ago. He didn't anymore.

Woohyun was taken aback by Sunggyu's sudden change of emotions but he tried not to show it.

“I, yeah, I'm 22- it's to meet you, Hyung. I climbed the tree, to explain everything. And didn't Myungsoo tell you I'd be here? He was the one telling me to come pick you up anyway! Said something about being busy and not being able to take his grandfather hims-”

“GRANDFATHER?”
Woohyun stopped talking abruptly, not being able to not be amused by Sunggyu's outburst.

“Yeah, he told me you were his.. grandfather.”

Sunggyu's usual pale face turned into an unhealthy looking shade of red.

“Bastard, this bastard- I should have cut off his instead of just slamming my fist into it the other day. And- you've got a leaf stuck in your head. Should have figured you climbed the tree.”

Woohyun lost it, almost chocking on his own laughter. Tears were forming in his eyes, his stomach started hurting from laughing so much. He was basically dying.

Sunggyu could only watch in awe.

When was the last time he had seen someone laugh this hard? And because of him on top of that?
He had never been the funny kind of person, not even.. in his past.

Forgotten was his anger and just everything.

He just watched.

Positive people. He had always secretly admired positive people.

It's true that back in the days he had been happy, most of the times, but there had always been something that hold him back.

Sunggyu was the kind of person who took everything to heart, who had self doubts and feared other people's reactions. No matter how well liked he had been, apparently, he never felt like the people who surrounded him were honest. Loyal. Real.

Woohyun seemed like he was. Which was strange. But he did.

Positive people had the gift to radiate happiness, the most beautiful thing existing in this world. What was more worth than happiness?
Love maybe. But there was no love without happiness. No happiness without love.

Magic. Feelings were just magical.

But to Sunggyu, magically painful.

Woohyun coughed which got him Sunggyu's attention.

The latter looked up, realizing Woohyun seemed calmer now but a wide grin was spread across his face still. It was ridiculously silly, really. And no leaf was stuck in his hair anymore.

“So, ready to go?”

Sunggyu frowned, still not having figured out the whole meaning behind Woohyun's existence, appearance, whatsoever.

“Go where?”

He didn't care, he knew he didn't want to leave his room, his house, his own shell ever. And by ever he meant e v e r.

“To the support group! I'm the leader of this group you know and Myungsoo suggested it was a good idea for you to go and to meet all the people. Hey, I know you're a smartass and all and the others.. well won't exactly be like that. But I'm sure it'd help, somehow. I know I don't know you and everything but you seem- not real? Ah I'm rambling. Anyway, just follow me, you'll like the others. You'll learn a lot from them, I can promise you that!”

Woohyun looked at Sunggyu with hopeful eyes. Something that caused a weird feeling in the pit of Sunggyu's stomach. He ignored it and decided to just snort.

“Hey listen you brat. I don't know you either and I don't know why you think you have the rights to enter my house this early in the morning and disturb my privacy but let me tell you something- it doesn't matter what my oh so lovely brother has told you but everything seems to have been a lie so far. I can assure you that I won't ever go meet your stupid group. I'm fine! It doesn't matter if I'm real to you or not because honestly, I am a real human being. Get your facts straight and now get the hell out of my house, I wish to start this already ruined day in peace. Thanks.”

The flash of hurt was the last thing he saw in Woohyun's eyes before turning around and making his way to the bathroom.

He closed the door wishing to just forget everything that just had happened.

Sunggyu caught Woohyun whispering something that sounded like “they're not stupid” before the other man left.

Finally alone again.

Days passed by and Sunggyu started forgetting about Woohyun's existence.

It wasn't easy at first, he had to admit. His handsome features were indeed striking and worth keeping in mind. Hands down, Woohyun was the most attractive human being he had ever laid his eyes on.

And yes, Sunggyu was gay. He found out rather early and it was hard to cope with at first.

His parents were living the perfect marriage, always wanting to have grandchildren, telling everyone how proud they were of their two sons, Sunggyu especially.

Sunggyu didn't dare to say a word, never.

One of the aspect why he had never been truly happy, he had never been truly honest with himself. And just everyone.

He wouldn't have minded marrying a beautiful young woman if it was that what had made his parents happy. And yes, he really wanted to have kids.

But did it matter anymore? No. Nothing mattered.

Life never went as one planned it, however, and so it happened that Sunggyu did meet Woohyun again.

Three weeks, two days and four and a half hours after their first encounter, to be exact.

Sunggyu had just finished his daily routine at the hospital when he heard his name being called. And hell did he remember this voice.

“Sunggyu hyung, hey, Sunggyu hyung!”

The elevator was only five meters away, if he sped up a little he could-

Too late.

“Hey”, he felt someone pulling his wheelchair back and turning it around, “I thought you didn't hear me there, man.”

Woohyun lowered himself and knelt down in front of Sunggyu, smiling as bright as the sun. It was blinding.

Sunggyu usually hated it when people made themselves smaller than they actually were. Like sure, he was smaller sitting in this chair but he still had his pride.. or had he.

Anyway, he didn't like it but he liked the fact he could study Woohyun's face easier this way. Oh yes, he liked it.

He expected that if he googled “most attractive features a human being could have”, Woohyun's name would pop up.

Sharp nose, jawline on point, brown eyes one could drown in and lips- oh dear god have mercy, these lips.

Woohyun's smile grew bigger as he noticed Sunggyu's staring. And it made Sunggyu blush. Yes, Sunggyu blushed. He never blushed.

“Euh,” a cough, “h-hey.”

Sunggyu wanted to die on the spot. And a different kind of dying as usually. It was a new feeling, quite refreshing.

“What are you doing here?”

How a human being managed to look so good and sound so sincere was a mystery to Sunggyu. How was this person in front of him real?

“Usual check up, what about you, Woohyun?”

His name was heavy on the tip of his tongue, he liked it.

“Support group, I told you. We just finished too. Maybe you'll.. “

A frown.

“.. or not, hey doesn't matter. Are you free, tho? Want to hang out?”

No.

“Yes.”

What.

If Sunggyu thought his smile was blinding before, it was nothing compared to now. Where were his sunglasses when he needed them?

“Your sunglasses?”
 

CRAP!

Sunggyu could literally feel the blush creeping up his face, he had never been this embarrassed before.

“N-nevermi-nd, let's go?!”

It was the day Sunggyu hadn't only lost his ability to walk but his ability to speak as well. Congratulations.

Their date went surprisingly well.

No wait, it wasn't a date. It just a casual get together between two grown up men. (And Woohyun went all googly eyes on Sunggyu because, just because).

Woohyun took him to the park, treating him to an ice cream.
For once, Sunggyu didn't mind the people staring at him. It didn't seem important.

They talked about everything and nothing or more like Woohyun did. Sunggyu stayed silent and admired the beauty of Nam Woohyun.

His smile.

His everything.

He was a fun person, easy to talk to, the definition of loud yet adorable. Woohyun was someone Sunggyu ever dreamed of becoming. And it hurt. A lot.

Back home, Sunggyu disappeared into his room, not wanting to talk to anyone. Not that anyone was around in the first place, tho.

However, Sunggyu had often been in these kind of moods but it was a little different this time.

He didn't drown in self pity but in, he couldn't even put a name to it. It was different.

His thoughts didn't revolve around himself but about Woohyun- and himself.

A sigh escaped his lips as he was staring at the ceiling of his room.

Sunggyu was torn. It was nice to feel different but it was frightening at the same time. Things were moving too fast.

He had gotten used to everything, he had settled on his life style. He was.. not fine, but it was alright.

Then this.

Then him.

Two meetings and his world was shaken up.

it.

Sunggyu closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing and his heartbeat that was a little faster than normal.

it.

He decided it was for the best to never see Nam Woohyun again. To be safe. To stay safe. Sunggyu wasn't in the condition to suffer another setback. He wasn't strong like this. He had never been.

His self doubts only become stronger thinking about the younger man.

Nam Woohyun was the definition of perfection, and he was.. well himself, a nobody.

He asked Woohyun why he willingly spent time with him or if it was Myungsoo's doing again.

His reply was “No, I just like people with a story more than anyone else.” and it killed Sunggyu.

Nam Woohyun was killing him and making him feel alive at the same time.

He was going insane.
 

Never had he dared to trust a human being, not even his little brother, not fully at least.

The problem with Woohyun was that he radiated comfort, the feeling of home. It was impossible not to feel safe while spending time with him.

It was ridiculous. Strange. It didn't make sense at all.

Yet it was the truth.

There was something about this man that was unreadable but it was beautiful. He was younger than Sunggyu yet he seemed a lot more mature even tho he stayed a child by heart.

Woohyun was unbelievable...

amazing.

Unbelievably amazing.

Sunggyu crossed his arms in front of his face, blocking the light and groaned.

He felt so little, so useless. He wanted to disappear.

But he wanted to see Woohyun again. He needed to see him again.

It didn't take long for Sunggyu to fall asleep, not even noticing how exhausting the day had been for him.

And for the first time in five years he slept through, not having any nightmares at all.

He felt at peace.

Time used to pass by in slow motion for Sunggyu. It started running the moment he met Woohyun.

Sunggyu wanted to stay away from Woohyun, he really wanted to.

He couldn't say no to the puppy eyes appearing in front of his front door every second day, however.

Woohyun managed to become a part of his daily routine without even trying to.

He existence. That was reason enough.

Sunggyu realized he started becoming depended on Woohyun the moment he felt lonely.

He was always lonely the days Woohyun wasn't around.

It wasn't a feeling he approved of. He felt needy, annoying and just.. left behind.

“You've changed.”

It was a warm summer day and Myungsoo came over to pay a visit. He didn't visit often these days anymore. He didn't have to, Woohyun was there.

“Have I?”

Sunggyu looked at the warm smile Myungsoo was giving him and he knew he had changed the moment he returned the smile.

Sunggyu had found his smile again.

“You're smiling, Hyung.”

He folded his hands in his lap.

“I know,” was all he managed to reply.

More time passed by, and Woohyun was still by his side.

Sunggyu started leaving the house more often now. He started appreciating the nature again, noticing the small details.

He remembered the beauty of life. Bit by bit.

No rush. There was no rush.

“Woohyun?”

The other man was sitting next to him on a park bench. His head was thrown back, his eyes were closed, a smile gracing his lips (as always).

“Hm?”

“I want to meet your support group.”

Woohyun's eyes shot open, his knuckles turning white as he was grabbing the wood a little too harshly.

“Are you sure? Oh my god Sunggyu, please tell me my ears weren't deceiving me just now!”

Sunggyu chuckled. He still wasn't used to hear his own laughter but it still felt nice.

“I meant it!”

The next second, two strong arms were holding him tightly. And Sunggyu just died. Again.

The following day came too sudden. Sure, it was Sunggyu's own suggestion.

He still didn't feel quite ready, tho.

But Woohyun did.

There he was, 8am, looking too good to be real. And this time Sunggyu opened the front door for him. (Not that Woohyun would ever climb that tree again).

“You ready, beautiful?”

No.

“Yes.”

It was hard to cope with Woohyun's constant compliments at first but he had slowly gotten used to them. Or maybe he just didn't have the energy to have a five minutes long discussion with Woohyun at least three times a day.

Woohyun helped Sunggyu enter his car all gentleman like before he put the wheelchair in the back. All done.

It was a twenty minutes drive until they arrived at their destination.

Woohyun asked him to sing and so he did.

Sunggyu rediscovered his love for music. And once again he had to thank Woohyun for that.

His voice had become rather rusty with the time but he improved slowly again. And he enjoyed it. A lot.

Life had its good sides after all. Not everything was lost just yet.

The room was big, the walls white, everything was bright. There were self painted pictures pinned on the wall, they were adorable.

Nobody was here yet besides them. Sunggyu was relieved.

“So,” Woohyun took a chair and sat right in front of Sunggyu, taking his hands into his own “I told you they weren't like you, right? I know you're handicapped as well but they're, well, different. I don't want you to be here because I think you're like them, you need to understand that. Do you understand?”
 

Sunggyu nodded.

“Good. Listen, I love these people, they've taught me a lot. I just want you to be here with me and watch. They're not freaks, don't worry. Some people are scared to approach disabled people, god knows why, they're ignorant s. I just want you to learn about this part of my life.”

Sunggyu nodded again, this time with a smile on his face, he felt more at ease.

Woohyun was right. They were amazing. All different but amazing.

There were sitting in a circle, just talking about everything. Their bond was strong and even noticeable for someone who barely knew them, for someone like Sunggyu.

They accepted Sunggyu for the person he was from the first second onwards. They didn't judge, it was quite the opposite even.

He belonged because he was human. Like them.

None of them was perfect, they were not even close to being it, but they made the best out of life. They were happier than Sunggyu had ever been. Flaws were accepted, respected and understood. It was okay to have them because everyone did.

Each one of them was different. Some couldn't walk like Sunggyu, some didn't have control over their hands.

Depressed people, short tempted people, alcoholics.

People who had Down Syndrome, who couldn't talk and only smiled.

It was amazing. They were amazing.

They were a family, it wasn't hard to realize how much they cared for one another.

And in the middle of all happenings was Woohyun. The brightest person among them all. The center.

They trusted him, they sought his advice, they hugged him, they loved him.

The more minutes passed by, the more Sunggyu came to realize that they didn't take everything for granted. They got excited over the smallest things, thanked everything and everyone and were in fact the most polite people.

A few discussions came up but they were quickly solved due to them understanding each other blindly.

Sunggyu was amazed.

It made Sunggyu think. A lot. He wanted to cry over the wasted years of his life, cry over the years he hadn't known Woohyun, hadn't known them. He wanted to cry because he was so frustrated with himself, for being such a jerk.

He wanted to apologize to Myungsoo, wanted to explain everything, wanted to become a better brother.

Sunggyu wanted to live.

It wasn't the past minutes that had showed him, that made him understand. He had started realizing things months ago.

Woohyun had entered his life months ago. On the one hand it felt like it was yesterday, on the other it was like he had known him all his life.

Sunggyu had never been as grateful for someone has he had been for Woohyun. He was his personal angel (not like he'd ever openly admit that. At least not yet).

It ended all too soon.

“What do you think?”

He was still on the verge of tears, his head hurting from all the over thinking he did.

“You were right. With everything. I- how are you such an amazing person?”

Woohyun giggled and Sunggyu decided it was his favorite sound of all time. He loved it.

He loved everything about Woohyun. Something his heart agreed to by speeding up. As always when Woohyun was close to him.

“I'm not the amazing person, it's you. Seriously, it breaks my heart seeing what you think of yourself. You don't know how beautiful and amazing you are. How special, unique, different. I knew it the second I saw you, Sunggyu. If you think of me as a good person then that's all I could have ever asked for. But it's all thanks to you, trust me.”

Sunggyu swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling dry as Woohyun was moving closer.

“No, I, Woohyun you need to understand, I was nothi-”

Sunggyu was silences in the most beautiful way. He was silenced by love. He felt warm lips moving against his and he knew Woohyun was a keeper. Sunggyu couldn't run but he'd try his best to learn it again if it was for Woohyun.

---

idk what to do with this, there are so many more things to say. sequel?