Minseok and Lu Han’s No-Kiss List

1.    김준면
2.    김종대
3.    도경수: 사탄
4.    오세훈
5.    박찬열
6.    변백현
7.    张艺兴   장이씽  Zhang Yixing

Lu Han and Minseok draft the first edition of the No-Kiss List in their junior year of high school. The two are sprawled out on the floor of Minseok’s living room, half way between the coffee table and the television.

“For the sake of our friendship, these are people that neither of us are allowed to kiss,” Lu Han explains.

The list is Lu Han’s idea, like almost everything else in their friendship. In retrospect, Lu Han was always the one getting them into dumb .

The first name to go on the list is Kim Joonmyun.

“Who’s that?” Lu Han asks, sounding confused. Minseok can almost see the cogs in his brain working, racking his brains for any familiarity with that name. Is it someone from school? Someone from soccer?

“You don’t remember Joonmyun sunbaenim?”

Hearing sunbaenim seems to raise a flag in the back of Lu Han’s mind and he props himself up on his elbows, capping the black pen he had been doodling with.  

“He was student council president and a senior when we were freshmen,” Minseok continues. He can still picture the immaculate uniform, ever present sweet smile, and handsome face of the first person he had ever had a crush one.

“Why the hell would I ever kiss him? I’ve never talked to him in my life and I don’t even know where he goes to college now,” Lu Han says, brows furrowed.  

Minseok shrugs. “You never know,” he says lightly.

Lu Han is still skeptical. “Let’s say I do somehow meet Joonmyun sunbaenim again in the future. Why can’t I kiss him?”

For a moment, Minseok doesn’t answer because it’s something that he’s never shared with anyone else before, including Lu Han, who has been his best friend since elementary school. When he speaks up again, his voice is softer than before. “First love,” he answers shortly.

(They run into Joonmyun sunbaenim two years year later when he ends up as the TA to their intro government class in college. Joonmyun sunbaenim has grown to be even more attractive in the three years since they’ve seen him. Lu Han makes unnecessary catcalls and comments from their seats in the back of the class. Minseok is not pleased.)

The second name on the list is soccer captain Kim Jongdae.

Minseok looks down at the name Lu Han has written in his ugly, crooked scribbles and pouts.

“Jongdae is kind of cute,” he grumbles. “I thought it was common knowledge that we both want to kiss him.”

“Exactly, another reason why he’s off limits,” Lu Han says at once. “Besides, one of us is going to be team captain next year, and I don’t want Jongdae’s decision to be swayed by any external factors.”

“External factors?” Minseok wiggles his eyebrows suggestively before getting hit in the face with a flying pen.

(Jongdae ends up picking both Lu Han and Minseok to be co-captains for the soccer team when he graduates. Minseok makes sure to complain for weeks about how adding his name to the No-Kiss list had been such a waste of time, when one of them could have possibly been face with Jongdae instead, preferably himself. Lu Han is not pleased.)

The third person on the list is Do Kyungsoo. This one is a mutual decision, because Kyungsoo is their close mutual friend.

“Also, he can be kind of scary,” Lu Han says, picking up a red pen instead. “If one of us tried to kiss him, we might die.”

Minesok agrees. When he leans over Lu Han’s shoulder to read the list, he sees that Lu Han has written Kyungsoo’s name in bold.

(Kyungsoo finds out about their No-Kiss List during their first year of college. He says it’s stupid and that they’re stupid too, until he finds out that he is included. When he sees that he has been labeled as Satan, he throws a fit and traps both Lu Han and Minseok in a headlock, one under each arm as he attempts to squeeze the life out of them. Kyungsoo is not pleased.)

The list stays like that until their first year of college, where Lu Han gets stuck with lanky Oh Sehun as his roommate when Minseok gets a single.

“You can’t kiss him,” Lu Han insists before Minseok even gets to meet the guy.

That perks Minseok’s interest. “Why? Is he hot? Will I want to kiss him?”

Lu Han snags a blue pen from Minseok’s desk and starts adding the new name. “If you kiss Sehun, I’m going to be the third wheel in my own room. I refuse to let that happen.”

(When Lu Han finally lets Minseok meet his roommate, Minseok is disappointed to find that yes, Sehun is kind of hot, with model like features and y long legs. However, after getting to know him, Minseok realizes that Sehun is also a needy brat and thinks he may have dodged a bullet there.)

Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun are added to the list at the same time in their second year of college after Lu Han and Minseok have moved in together off campus.

Minseok comes back to the room that he shares with Lu Han one afternoon to find the binds drawn closed and the room enveloped in darkness. There is a vaguely Lu Han shaped bump under the covers and quiet sniffling.

“Um…” Minseok says.

When Lu Han’s head pops out from under the blankets, he is waving their old No-Kiss List with two new editions, inked in a purple ball point pen. His blond hair is messy and sticking up all over the place, and Minseok sees that Lu Han’s eyes are suspiciously red.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Minseok asks. He tries to sit on the edge of Lu Han’s bed, but thinks better of it halfway, ending up with his awkwardly hovering half a foot above the bed. The last time he had sat down on Lu Han’s bed without permission, he’d gotten a bruising kick to the ribs.  
Lu Han lets out a strangled laugh when he sees and reaches out to pull Minseok the rest of the way down. “Just this once,” he says threateningly as he curls himself around Minseok’s back.

(He doesn’t talk about it that day, or the day after that, but Minseok eventually p