Title (2/5)

To be honest the title doesn’t excited me at all. It’s rather plain and not appealing, at least for me. And since the story is just starting I can’t relate the title with it yet of course.

Description/Foreword (10/10)

Your description really suits the story, I mean, with this I can see an overview of the story. It goes straight to the point and that’s good. The amount of information that you put is just perfect, it doesn’t say too much. And of course, the length of the description was perfect too, not too long and not too short.

Characters (7.5/15)

Well, I can’t say too much about it, since the story is just starting and is kind of difficult to analyze the characters right now. Actually I have to see how they evolve, since just as humans, the characters have to be dynamic, constantly changing, their likes, their perspective in life, etc.

On the other hand I can’t identify yet Maylin’s personality, I feel that is not well defined so far, she’s a little bit ambiguous. And I’m very curious about Jongin tho, I don’t know, maybe because of my Sekai feels. Anyways, I’m so sorry for the low score, but as I said before the story is just starting and there is no enough material for me to notice each personality in its fullest.

Layout/Poster/Background (7/10)

Okay, the poster is very cute and like a plus I love the pictures on it. Unfortunately there is no background, so it looks a little blank. However I like the font you use to write the chapters, the font size is perfect too, it wasn’t too small or too big. But I think the chapters were too short for my liking, you know.

Storyline/Plot (9/20)

Is not an original plot. Is the typical love-hate relationship, right? And I think is a little predictable too, but since is the beginning you could add some very cool twists to make it more unique and unpredictable. Play with your readers’ mind, to put it in some way, and make some ups and downs to make something unexpected…I simply love unexpected thing and I know I’m not the only one here who does. Yet I’m not saying that I don’t like your storyline because I think that is lovely, plus I love fluffy and very romantic stories, so yeah, yours is compromising in that aspect.

Grammar/Narrative elements (19/20)

Your grammar is very good, but you did a few mistakes. From time to time you mix verb tense:

"He watch, amused as the little brunette tried to keep her temper in check when the group of girls she was waiting on refuse to acknowledged her presence for the nth time."

→ He watched, amused as the little brunette tried to keep her temper in check when the group of girls she was waiting on refuse to acknowledged her presence for the nth time

"He didn’t have work and it’s usually the days when he picks up random girls on campus and has fun."

→ He doesn’t have work and it’s usually the days when he picks up random girls on campus and has fun.

Now, leaving aside grammar, your writing style is simply beautiful. I love the way you describe the weather and places, since not many people can do that. It makes the lecture a lot more entertaining and adds quality to the writing. Good job!

Flow (10/10)

This is the point that’s more important to you for what you put on the comment and I may say that the flow is going very well. Things are happening in the right peace, so you don’t have to worry about this, you are doing it great! The flow feels very natural and the lecture of your story is very pleasing.

General enjoyment (8/10)

As I said before your story is very pleasing to read because of the great flow and writing style. Even though the plot is not original, is cute and entertaining. However I’m not going to lie, is not THAT interesting, but for some reason I wanted to keep reading, I don’t know how to explain it, but it was very enchanting.

I’m really curious about the relationship between Sehun and Jongin. And I want to know if Sehun is gay or not, because supposedly the guy rejected him because he didn’t feel the same way, but nothing about his uality…well, maybe I’ll know it in the future. I’m sorry again for my Sekai feels!  Oh and I can’t wait for more fluffy moments.

Finally I want to say that I enjoyed your story. It’s refreshing and lovely. Don’t be frustrated If it wasn’t the score you were expecting, since the story is just starting, so if you want to know in the future about it again, I can’t review it once you finished it. Yet I think you have a really good score. Good luck!

Total (72/100)