How does it feel when we're falling in love?

I always not understand if i ever falling in love, because i don't know how it feels. They said when you're falling for someone, your heartbeats got faster, you'll blush, smiling unconciously, want to see the person you're fallen of everytime everyday, thinking about her/him nonstop and others. But i never had one.

Of course i'm not that innocence. I had some boyfriends before. But in my memories, i never had one of 'fallen in love' symptoms. My love experience started of interesting or fun to begin with, when it becomes dull and not fun anymore, naturally it comes to break up.

After break up, I look like a girl that never had a relationship before, more not look like a girl that just has a break up. No tears, no sadness. Honestly when i'm alone, i've missed them, those lame jokes, the caring text messages, good morning and night messages, its more like something i used to have, and i still not over it.

Dating for me is like playing games, when i want to i'll play, if i get bored i'll leave. I dont like being trapped, I love freedom. I don't like serious relationship, i prefer let it flow. So maybe its me who don't understand love. I even scared to fall in love or maybe i've fallen in love but i don't even realize.

I just need to figure this out, so why don't you help me and i'll tell you my life story?