The first thing I felt was extremely cold.  The next was a strong hand gripping mine like their life depended on it.  Opening my eyes I’m quickly blinded by the glaring yellow ceiling light.  “Guys, she’s waking up.”  The voice vibrates and bounces around in my head along with the hurried footsteps of people approach.  Eventually my eyes adjust to the light and I see Youngjae standing over me, his eyebrows are furrowed together in concern.

    I sit up and see about five ice packs fall off my face.  That explains why I felt so cold.  A loud noise that sounds like thunder causes me to wince in pain.  It feels like any noise goes in one ear and punches my brain.  “Ya, Mark, go take care of him.”  JB points Mark to the room adjacent to the kitchen.

    “How are you feeling?”  Youngjae asks me in a soft voice and holds my hand for support.  I try to stand up but loose my balance and fall back down on the couch.  Jackson suddenly appears right next to me and pushes Youngjae out of the way.  My senses slowly start coming back to me and I regain my balance.

    “Are you okay?”  Jackson is looking at me like I’m some porcelain doll that with the slightest touch could be broken, and I don’t like it.

    “I’m fine no thanks to you.”  I try to ripe my hand out of his but only cause myself to fall again.

    “It was an accident.”  His voice is cold and his face becomes pale.  I start to feel more stable and successfully get up this time.

    “Tell that to my face.”  I point at the bruise that is most likely forming on top of all the others.  I start walking toward the door but I’m blocked by all the boys.  They all have serious expressions on their face and Jackson grabs my hand and holds it tightly.

    “Who hurt you?”  Bambam crosses his arms and waits for me to reply.  No way would I tell them what really happened.

    “None of you business.”  Clearly that is not what they wanted to hear.  

    “We’re going to ask you again.”  This time it was Junior who asked the question, only a little bit more forceful.  “Who. Hurt. You?”  He enunciates each word and has a deadly serious look in his eyes.

    “And I’m only going to say it one more time.  None.  Of.  Your.  Business.”  I mimic his speech and  rip my hand out of Jackson’s.  In an attempt to get past them I try to push my way through, but they won’t budge.  This is getting annoying.

    Jackson turns me around and looks me straight in the eyes.  “How are we suppose to protect you if we don’t know who to protect you from.”  Trying to keep my cool I shrug him off.

    “I don’t want to be protected, I don’t need to be protected, and if you want to protect me from someone it should be you.  Now let me go.”  Nobody moves for a couple of minutes, it’s just Jackson and I staring at each other angrily.  Then I see JB giving a slight nod out of the corner of my eye and the boys step away.  I’ll take that as my cue to leave.

    It doesn’t take long to get home after that.  I was only out for about an hour and my parents are not usually home now, so at least I don’t have to worry about that.  What am I going to do?  I have to get back on my parents good side, I have to deal with Subin tomorrow, and to top it all off I have to deal with got7.  Peachy.

    Hopefully my face will look less like a concrete block hit me and more like my usual self by tomorrow.  I grab a bag of frozen peas out of the fridge to ice my face and start some homework.  Since I couldn’t stay to do it after school now I have to stay up late and finish it.

    Hours later I hear the elevator door ding and my heart drops.  Glancing at the clock I see it reads quarter after one, meaning the time my parents get home.  I run to the fridge to put the peas back in and rush to the door to great them.  I didn’t realize how late it got.

    When they enter I can see the surprise on their faces to see that I am still up.  Usually at this time I would be sleeping.  I greet them and bow respectfully and once they walk past me I go back to my work.  My father goes to their bedroom and my mother sits across from me at the table.  Here we go, clean up crew.

    “Honey, you know we both love you and are so proud of how smart you are.  We just want you to always do your best and be kind to everybody.”  More like they want me to follow their plan for my life or else.  But instead I smile and nod to her as she walks to their bedroom.  If I had one thousand won for every time mother gave me a similar speech after a fight I could afford my own place by now.

    Luckily it takes only a few more hours to finish my work and I gladly crawl into bed.  My mind wanders to everything that happened today.  The got7 boys, that weird man that I ran into this morning, Subin, my parents, the list goes on and on.  And who in the world does Yugyeom like?  If my life could just go back to a drama free one that would be great.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Thank the good Lord that my face is not swollen this morning.  After about an hour of blending shades and trying to cover all the purple marks I am heading out my apartment feeling satisfied.  As sad as it sounds, I’ve had many years of practice. 

    When the elevator door opens it reveals a surprising scene.  Nothing is out of the ordinary, everything is normal.  My suspicion level rises when I walk out of the building and still don’t seem them.  This is weird.  Of course I don’t let my guard but the whole walk to school is uneventful and just like before, nothing out of the ordinary.  

    Minji greets me at the entrance and fills me in on all the gossip.  I zone out for the most part until she abruptly stops and grabs my wrist.  I wince in pain but it seems to go unnoticed by her, she is intently gawking at whats on my wrist, the got7 bracelet.  I completely forgot I still was wearing it.

    “Is this what I think it is?”  She doesn’t even give me any time to respond.  “Oh my gosh do you know how crazy this is?  Subin has been after this forever and when she finds out… oh but it won’t matter because you are under the protection of got7.   Does this mean you’re the new queen of the school?”  She keeps rambling on about the bracelet but I quickly unsnap it from my wrist and shove it into my backpack.  

    “It means nothing.”  I give her a deadpan stare and she looks slightly shocked.

    “Yea but Seolhyun, do you know how much power you could have?”

    “I don’t want any of it.  Honestly I just wanted to be invisible to everybody and have a peaceful and uneventful time at school.”  I walk to my classroom and start preparing for the day and leave her standing out in the hallway.  Nobody really looks at me today but I think it’s because I’m giving off a ‘don’t mess with me’ vibe.  As usual lunch comes quickly and I head there with the crowd, but instead of sitting at a table I go back to the classroom where find Namjoon eating his lunch just as I thought he would be.

    He jumps out of his seat when he sees me come in.  “Seolhyun!”  His face becomes red and he starts to fumble with his hands.

    “I thought I would join you, there is nobody at lunch that I really want to talk to.”  I give him a smile and he returns it with one that spreads across his face.  I sit in a desk next to him and begin to eat my lunch.  “So tell me about yourself Namjoon.”

    He looks down at his lunch and starts mumbling about something.  He looks so nervous I can’t help but smile a little bit.

    “Well, my name is Park Namjoon, I’m in class 1-F, I live in a small apartment with my mom, and I want to do something important with my life.”  Not once does he look up at me, just fumbles with his food while he talks.

    I nudge his shoulder and let out a small chuckle.  “Come on, that sounds like something you would say on a dating website!  Tell me what makes you you.”  He seems really surprised by my question.  Not like before, more like a genuine but happy surprise.  

    “I’ve never told anyone this but,” he looks back down at his tray and his face becomes red again.  I can tell he is getting embarrassed.  “I write songs and raps.  I want to become an idol.”  He continues to look down at his food and starts playing with his rice.  I take a bite of my lunch and we continue talking about random things.  Namjoon is a super cute guy with a heart of gold and I try to encourage him to try out for a company.

    “That’s so cool!  You should go for it!”  I pat him on the back and give him an encouraging smile which he returns.  We both have finished our lunch and he looks ready to say something important.  That is until he looks past me and instantly pales.  The sound of the classroom door opening startles me and I turn around to see Mark giving Namjoon a stare that could scare the devil.  Mark slowly approaches and never takes his eyes off of Namjoon.  He grabs my hand and leads me out of the room, I don’t struggle because I’m still pretty sore from the events of yesterday.

    Once we make it down the hall he finally looks at me, “we have been looking for you.”  His voice is monotone and his gaze is now unreadable.  Now I know why they call him the silent one.  He led me to a different classroom most likely one used for another grade and opened the door to reveal the rest of them waiting inside.  As soon as I enter Jackson quickly comes to my side with a concerned look on his face.

    “How are you doing?”  I notice that he doesn’t touch me and his eyes scan my face for any noticeable injuries.    

    “I’m fine no thanks to you.”  I turn around to leave but Mark is blocking my path.  A defeated sigh escapes my lips and I turn back around to face the rest of them.  “What do you want?”

    JB leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.  “Where have you been?”  I raise my eyebrow at him.  Does he really expect me to tell them everything about my whereabouts?  I don’t owe them anything.

    After it becomes clear that I’m not going to say anything Mark steps forward.  “She was having lunch with Namjoon when I found her.”  Jackson starts laughing and the others join in.

    “What are you doing having lunch with a loser like him?”  BamBam asks and whips a tear from his eye.

    “Yea I thought we took care of him a long time ago.”  Youngjae says and continues to laugh.

    “Well I think he is an amazing guy and he is the only nice person that I met since coming here, besides Minji.”  Yugyeom’s head perks up and looks at me but everybody else seems to be looking at something behind me.

    “How do you know Minji?”  Yugyeom asks in a serious voice.  I was about to respond to him but Jackson seemed to have other plans.  He literally picked up a chair and chucked it across the room.  It hit the wall with a sickening smack.  Talk about anger issues.

    Jackson looks me straight in the eyes, you could almost see fire burning behind is dark pupils.  “Tell your beloved Namjoon that he will get what’s coming to him.”

    “If you hurt him I swear that you will get whats coming to you.”  We both stare at each other angrily for a couple minutes until Junior pushes Jackson back.

    “Perhaps we should talk about why we actually brought you here.  JB why don’t you tell her what we found?”  I look at JB now who opens up a folder that I didn’t notice was on the desk before.

    “We decided to find out about you and your past, see who could possibly want to hurt you because you won’t tell us who did yesterday, and we have some questions to ask.”  I can feel all the life being out of me.  Memories start to flash before my eyes of possible things they could have found and I begin to feel faint.

    “Take a seat,”  Bambam says with a sly smile on his face, “because you won’t be leaving until we have all of our answers.”  Jackson pulls out a seat for me and I take it considering the fact that I might pass out soon if I don’t try and calm down.  He sits closely next to me, I can tell he is still mad put he grabs my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles.  It’s oddly comforting.

    “It says here that you lived in the country for most of your life, you were homeschooled, medical records show nothing out of the ordinary, the only thing that seems to be alarming is that you saw a therapist.”  JB flips through the different pages of the folder.  “Because of confidentiality we were unable to see why, so care to explain.”

    The mention of therapy takes me instantly back to the green building that I would visit often.  I can almost smell that office as if I was sitting in it right now.  It always smelled like peppermint because Dr. Jung said it was a calming scent and it would make his patients more comfortable.  The feeling of that green couch comes to mind, it felt like velvet and I could probably fall asleep on it if I wanted to.

    My parents had me see a therapist after the incident.  They took me out of it after a year when they realized I started talking about the abuse they put me through.  Dr. Jung was my only friend during that time and he really understood what I was going through.

    “Hello?  Anybody in there?”  Youngjae asks and waves his hand in front of my eyes.

    Memories begin to fill my head and the touch of Jackson’s hand reminds me of someone else’s, someone who intends to harm me.  I rip my hand out of his and he gives me a confused look.  I can feel the panic rise from my stomach into my chest.  All of a sudden I can see myself in that dark room that I was kept in for so long.  The next memory that hits me is my parents yelling and hitting me for getting myself into that situation.  The panic rises to my throat and I feel like I can’t breathe.  

    It’s probably been a solid minute of silence and by this time my breathing is heavy.  All the boys are looking at me like I’m crazy and I don’t blame them.  I abruptly stand up and make a run for the door but before I leave I turn around to say the only thing that I can think of.  “Please just stay away from me.”  I sounded pathetic but I didn’t care, I just had to get out.  I slam the classroom door behind them and run out of the school.  Never would I ever think that I would skip school but my panic attack is really starting to hit me hard and the only thing I want to do is be home.  The tears were streaming down my face as I pass countless concerned people on the streets who stop and stare.  I’m so beyond embarrassed about crying in front of others, and I also showed a weak side of me to all of the boys.  Now they will know my weakness. This thought only makes me cry more.

    When I finally reach my building I try to remain calm and not draw any more attention to myself.  The last thing I need is the doorman calling my parents and telling them that I’m skipping.  I decide that the best thing to do is try the kitchen shortcut, that way no one will see me but the staff and I know that none of them know who I am.

    I keep my head down and walk around the building, luckily the kitchen backdoor is open and I maneuver my way through the maze of kitchen pots and flaming stove tops.  That is until I see some familiar black working shoes and look up to meet Soojung’s worried eyes.

    “I’m taking my break,” she yells over her shoulder.  She gently grabs my hand and pulls me into the employee break room.  She then grabs a brown paper bag out of a locker which I can only assume is her lunch and motions me to sit down.  “You’ve been crying.”

    Soojung pulls out a sandwich and starts calmly eating it.  I don’t like opening up to people but there is something so safe about her that makes me want to tell her everything.  “Tell me why child.”  She calmly says and gives me an encouraging looking.  Maybe it has something to do with the emotional state that I’m in or maybe it has to do with her motherly nature, but the tears start flowing out.

    “I don’t expect you to understand, but before moving here we lived in the country because people were after my family’s money.  There would be kidnapping attempts all the time and one time they succeeded. They held me for ransom and they…”  I choke up remember all the horrible things they did to me and a shiver runs down my spine.  Soojung quickly comes to my side and hugs me while she rubs my back.  It’s comforting and my breathing slowly goes back to normal.

    “You wait right here sweetie.”  She leaves the room and I’m left with my thoughts.  Why am I telling a complete stranger this?  I feel pathetic and stupid and vulnerable.  Maybe I should just leave.  I wrestle with my thoughts for almost fifteen minutes before I get up and head for the door but I come face to face with Soojung.

    “Don’t you go running off now child, sit.”  She points to the chair which I plop back down in.  She puts a bowl of soup in front of me and hands me a spoon, “eat.”  I give her an uneasy look but I take a spoonful of the soup she put in front of me.  It looks like some kind of chicken noodle and I take a bite and almost faint.  This soup is the most amazing soup I have ever eaten.  My tastebuds are crying and when I look at Soojung she gives me a knowing smile, like she knows this is the best thing in the world.

    “Soup always makes me feel better.  Now tell me more sweetie.”  She can tell I’m hesitant to but I feel like I can trust her for some odd reason, so I decide to go on.

    “My parents paid the ransom and ever since then they blame me for all of their problems.”  I start playing with my soup by swirling the spoon around and around.  “They say the only way I could ever repay them is if I become a well known doctor.  The main thing they want for me at this point in my life is to get into Harvard Medical School.  Putting me into a private school I guess increases my chances of getting in and that is one reason why we moved to the city.”

    The tears begin to well up in my eyes but they don’t spill over.  I can almost hear my mother’s voice as she tells me all the trouble they had to go through to get me back, how it would have been easier to just give me up but that would make them look bad.  My father’s stone cold disapproving look pops into my mind.

    “Is that where you got those dreadful bruises?”  My head snaps up and I freeze.  How can she tell?  As if she read my thoughts she goes over to one of the lockers and opens it up to reveal a mirror.  When she angels it towards me I see a girl with disheveled black hair and streaks of mascara running down her face.  Her makeup has been washed away by the tears revealing now yellowing bruises.  Soojung approaches me and begins to rub my back again.  I don’t understand why but it’s so comforting and it makes me feel like everything will be okay.

    “Why don’t you go get cleaned up okay?  I have to get back to work.  Come see me tomorrow sometime.”  She gives me a reassuring smile and heads out the door.  I decide to take her advice and head upstairs to take a shower.  So much has happened this week and so many emotions revisited that I just need a break.  I take a long hot shower and wash all of my worries and problems away and down the drain.  If only it were that simple.

    Once I get out I put on comfy sweatpants and a loose t-shirt.  I head out to the kitchen and grab the tub of vanilla ice cream I keep in the back of the freezer for emergencies and a big spoon.  Then I plop myself down on the couch and turn the tv on and find one of my favorite shows, Larva.  I take a huge scoop of ice cream and shove it in my mouth.  This is bliss.  That is until I hear the elevator door opening and my heart drops down to my stomach.  What have I gotten myself into now?