After two years I was in China only now that I opened my heart to accept the situation that has happened and I started to open my heart to find myself again. It is hard for me to believe my brother's death was so painful for me to accept the reality. I think my parent decided to send me to China to pursue my studies is not that bad. Here, I have a home. My parent send me allowance every month. I have everything that I need here. The only exception is my heart doesn't fill enough. I studied at Tsinghua University. Tsinghua amongst the best universities in mainland China, extremely competitive. I learned that hard work can make me look forward and forget my past.

After two years I left my parent and live by myself, finally I can suit myself here, since everything are new back then when i first landed at this country. Everyone are strangers for me. I know no one. But now I work in a cafe owned by a widow near my apartment. Although my parents did not know my work, but I still continue. I believe this is the best way for me to start hanging out with people and moving forward.

FLASHBACK.

Jay, Wolf is really great, I can't wait their next comeback

Jay, growl is so fantastic we should do a cover

Jay, I want you to come with me to the Exo concert, you must promise me we will go together

Mum, what happen to Jay, is he alright

Dad, where is Jay, I want to see him

Jay why did you leave me, you have make your promise, you will protect me, we will go everywhere together. I can't believe you go. I don't have anyone

BACK.

Jay has gone. He died because of a heart cancer, I can't believe my parent, Jay himself don't tell me about his suffer. I thought everything is fine. Jay never shows that he is sick. He looks normal, he dance, he sing, he play football, he hang out with his friend, he guard me, he teach me, he make me laugh, he always there for me and he made all his promises as though as he will forever live. Jay was my guardian, even though I still have my parent. My parent are too busy with their work, make me more close to my one and only brother. Now he is gone , I think I've lost everything. I still remember when we came home from school he sang me Exo's Baby Don't Cry while holding tight my hand. It was his favorite song. Actually we the only common thing that we love is Exo. He like Exo so much. He buy all their albums, but not for himself, he gave the albums to me. I really appreciate that. He love to sing, he even compose his own songs. He once said that he want to be a composer and write a song for Exo.It has been two years since he died, I hardly believe that even now.

Exo is my passion. I love this Kpop group even more after my brother started to stan them. Xiumin, Luhan, Kris, Suho, Lay, Baekhyun, Chen, Chanyeol, D.O, Tao, Kai and the youngest Sehun.I feel a connection with them althugh we are far, they are like my family although I just know them by the screen. I believe them after Jay. After Jay passed away, I received another bad news.  EXO’s Kris filed a lawsuit against the company. I thought it was just a rumour, I don't need to believe that. But, it was true, he also left. He also broke the promise. Kris is my bias, I can't believe he leave the group, he leave me.