Dear Hana,

I’ve attempted, albeit not successfully, to write this letter countless of times before, but I never knew how to start. Honestly, I still don’t.

So I decided I’ll start with my feelings.

Was I in love? – I don’t know.

What is love really? The internet describes it as a strong feeling of affection and my dictionary agrees.

I used to believe love was always only about desire and trust. I used to believe that we’d grow up together, being smart enough to never have a single argument. I used to believe loving someone was having happiness that knows no bounds. But when I felt as if the happiness was fading, I was scared.

I became resentful and the arguments never stopped. Things weren’t going perfectly like how I had imagined and instead of slowly fixing the problems; I began blaming them on you.

But I loved you. I am certain now.

Every time we had fought I wouldn’t forget to start up the water so you’d arrive home to a warm bath that could relax you after work. I wouldn’t forget to leave encouraging notes when I knew you had a presentation to do in front of your boss. You were the same; you would leave me dinner in the microwave when I got back late and you would always text me that good luck when I had a busy day.

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