The small shine of sun hit the corner of Yoongi's teary eye and he woke. Faintly, there was birds tweeting outside and echoes of passing cars rolling about. Waking up like this was normal, but he felt unsettled. It felt like his head was splitting in half. His body felt uncomfortable trying to move. He didn’t want to lift his head off his desk, but he had to move. He had to do something to stop this pain.

'I should...I should just take a shower, yeah..'

He tells himself this, but he nearly fell from trying to take a single step. He had to catch himself by leaning against his desk. They ached terribly from him sitting in a chair all night. He took a moment to stay still before wobbling his way into the bathroom.

 

You’re quite a lovely person, aren’t you?

Yoongi took a breath of air and exhaled as he stepped out of the bathroom. His skin didn’t feel tight and disgusting anymore. He could open his eyes without any strain and he could almost smile from the feeling. In other words, he was refreshed and it made him feel good.

He took careful strides across the room and laid on the occupied bed in the middle. Without any pretense, he reached over and gently caressed the face in front of him. Compared to his cold, pale cheeks, these were warm and full of color. His eyelashes were short but these were a long, beautiful lashes that loved to bat in front of him all the time. Yoongi’s eyes went lower and his thumb brushed against soft lips. He could kiss them all day if he had the time, and listen to the voice that passed through for even longer. He would never know what would come out of these lips, and this little thing always kept him at the edge of his life. This thrill threatened to push him or to keep his sanity grounded but it was barely enough. It was like he was falling deeper and deeper each time but he couldn’t stop.

I never thought I could get over you, but maybe you feel the same way, too?

Trying not to make any loud sounds, Yoongi scooted closer and wrapped his arms around the sleeping body. His face quickly changed into a pained one.

You haven’t tasted sincere love, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t be better but I hope I’m enough.

If anything were to change, it would be the way his thought. He felt unsuitable to be called a ‘boyfriend’ to someone who deserved more than the universe. He felt unworthy to be placed here in this room, to have arms to hold this angel close to him. ‘Am I alive? Or am I just in a sweet dream?’ he would think from time to time. But Yoongi would just look back at his lover’s face for a moment, and smile shamelessly to himself. The sound of their breathing was their background music, and the beat of their hearts meld into one. Even the small bit of his wet hair laid against such soft hair like this was amazing. Living like this was enough for Yoongi, but would it be enough for the both of them? This was his insincere emotions blinding him from what he wanted for the both of them.

Yoongi knew that he wasn't the best at expressing himself. His words would fumble if he didn't prepare, and sometimes he would act on impluse. He would hurt the people that meant the most to him and drive them away. If he didn't pay attention, then he would do something distressing. People would get tired of him. Does this make him a bad person? He didn't think so, but then why would it hurt so much? If he said one wrong word, took a step over a boundary he wasn't supposed to; it would be all over. Why couldn't people understand his heart?

He leaned his head and let their foreheads touch barely.

Maybe one day, I'll do better.

He let out a shaky breath. His heart was racing.

And you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore.

He leaned closer and let their lips brush for a moment. They slipped a little deeper for another moment before parting away. "I'm..really blessed, aren't I?" he whispered against his lover's lips.

Yoongi blinked a little bit then exhaled the breath he didn't even know he was holding. A couple tears slipped out but he made no sign to wipe them away. Instead, his arms held tighter and he tried to remember a day where he didn't have this love, this special friendship in his life.

Those were darker days, but I'm starting to forget them.

He stared at the delicate soul before him.

I don't think I can imagine another day without you anymore.

That day, neither of them knew what would become of their relationship together. It wasn't their first, and it was foolish to hope that it wouldn't change. Still, Yoongi held onto this thought and dived in. He would swim endlessly in his sentiments with all his fear and strength. He would swim until he found a place to rest, and he wanted it to be in these arms only.

I love you more than I can ever tell you, but thank you for letting me love you anyway.

 

Yoongi's eyes fluttered open as he felt fingers tread across his hair affectionately. It took him a couple seconds to focus his eyes until he was met with brown ones staring down at him. But why? “Did..” his voice wouldn’t even come out.

“Yeah, you fell asleep, hyung. I woke up a little bit after.”

“Mm..”

“You can sleep more, hyung. It’s okay.”

This wasn’t an unfamiliar phrase shared between them, and Yoongi snuggled back into the tender love given to him. It went on like this for only a couple moments before he was lauded back into a quiet slumber.

"I heard your crying again, why.."

The birds weren’t chirping outside anymore, but the sun was still out. The light glowed against Yoongi’s fair skin, making him shimmer like fireflies in the night sky. making him shine like he was the sun too. Jimin placed a kiss on his lover’s cheek then leaned his lips towards his ear.

“I’m the one that should be blessed. I love you so much...”

 

Somewhere, a place where we belong, this time is where we love and it'll always be here for us.