“The woes of a wounded people can’t be ignored. That I acknowledge but I’m just a kid with a dream that I’ve been striving.”

            “Why can’t I be selfish when others can selfishly sacrifice everything?”

        “Why must it be me? Is it me who have sinned?”

“Is it my fault? Was it even my choice to begin with?”

 

 

Han-Bin been locking himself up in his own little recording studio for a few hours already, ever since—

   He chocked on his own sobs, desperately trying to hide the voice of his sadness, anguish.

 

Netizens protest the debut of iKON’s B.I due to his father’s crimes

 

Han-Bin runs his hands thru his already messy mob of hair as tears continue to fall down his cheek as he silently cry.

He felt sorry for all the things that his father have done.

He really did.

But still he didn’t think it was his fault. He can’t fathom why this is his fault. Why must he suffer for his father wrongdoing.

He is 19 for God sake! Still a kid-

He didn’t even know anything until the news came up on the net, until his mother told him about it and his company warn him about the upcoming disaster that goin to come up after that.

YG have done their best to protect him, that he knows.

But the netizen is relentless and Han-Bin is not a fool.

Everyone trying to act normal around him that it just suffocating.

They always careful with everything they’ve said and done.

Han-Bin noticed the sympathy and worry and sometimes, judgement in their eyes, in his brothers eyes (iKON) and their other labelmates (YG)

He tried his best to not worry them, as a leader he should appear strong. That what he always thought, what he believed in.

So he smile. He laugh. He play along and try to be as oblivious as he can.

 

A fool.

 

But he is just a kid in the end.

 

A kid who is also a victim of the situation.

A kid who is hurt and betrayed by his own father that he always look up to because his father was a good man.

A kid who is being taunted(bullied) by the netizen.

A kid who is forced to take a role of a grown up man and take the blame for what he didn’t do– that he didn’t have any control whatsoever.

A kid who is forced to make a choice of giving up his family or his long life dream that he strive for, giving up on his dreams to debut with his brothers.

 

A kid who is now alone, in a small studio, hugging himself while he cry his heart out in silent.

 

What should he do now? What should a kid like him do now?

 

Han-Bin can only pray that to anyone up there that is willing to listen to him now because now, he truly is alone.

 

 

**

Writer note :

I think in Han-Bin's case, why I write that now he is truly alone is that because of his situation, I don't think he'll seek comfort from anyone. He will try and withstand everything, keeping it roughly inside. Leader's pride yknow-

He can't seek anyone because he may be afraid to be a burden to anyone. His mother must have endured a bigger hardships that he does and his team mate must have struggle a lot for their debut. As a leader, as the oldest son, I think he will try and not to worry them.  So tell me what you think?