*

Oh Sehun, at the age of 3, moved into a new neighbourhood in Seoul. The Oh family lived opposite you.

It was early when you were woken up from your sleep - time? At 3, the face of a clock were just numbers in a circle, but it wasn't your wake up time yet and you weren't a happy bunny - might've as well been 10 AM, not that you would've realised. The humming sound of trucks buzzed from across the street irritated you.

Somehow, along the lines of climbing down stairs and clinging onto your parents, you remember being carried outside by your father. The next thing you realised was staring at a sleeping boy on his father's back.

You didn't know what happened next - perhaps you fell back to sleep. A few days later, or maybe it was only a few hours; you were introduced to Oh Sehun and thought he was cute. You hid behind your mother's legs.

Sooner or later, the only person you played with was Oh Sehun. Pre-school became enjoyable for you. Walking to and from school with him everyday became the highlights of your days.

 

Oh Sehun, at the age of 12, was nicknamed 'Sehuna' for his pretty looks. He never really minded it.

"Oh my god..." your friend muttered under her breath - or the lack thereof. You sat with ignorance, continuing with your YunJae fan fiction.

"You have got to be kidding me. That new boy, that Oh Sehun boy, is your neighbour. Since forever. He's the right one, right? Oh my god, oh my god! Yah! Yah, are you listening?!" you sighed as you dog-eared your fan fiction prints.

"Yes, Kim Jieun. He's the Oh Sehun I was talking about." you nodded slowly, as you turned your attention to your pencil and started doodling non-sense on the desk.

"But you never mentioned he's... He's..." Jieun was lost for words.

"A pretty boy?"

"Beautiful..." you choked on air at the choice of her adjective.

The said Oh Sehun clutched onto his rucksack straps as he navigated himself to an empty seat. From the corners of his eyes he spotted a familiar face in the sea of excited strangers. He gave you a joyful smile and a little wave, glad to see someone he knows; before he settled down alone as people started swarming around him. The boy looked nerved by the attention he was getting from his new classmates - mainly girls - at slightly before 8 in the morning.

As your best friend rattled on with her motor-mouth, you continued with your doodling. Between heartbeats and nervous breaths, you glanced up at the pretty boy and mused at his slim shoulders and neat-combed hair reflecting the little light that came through the window. In that fleeting moment, you agreed - yes, he was beautiful.

The clock struck 8 and before Jieun could interrogate anything out of you, the teacher came in to call everyone to silent and the new kids to the front.

"We have two new students in this year. Be nice to them, alright?" the class chorused in an excited agreement; she gestured to the boys that it was their turn.

"My name is Kim Jongin, nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends."; ending with a polite bow. The class stared at him in silent - as if taking in what they just heard - before erupting in cheers; in which, Jongin jumped in surprise before going red under the stares.

You looked at Jongin and couldn't help but instantly like him. He had such the charisma that made everyone do so. You really hope you could be friends with him as he had just said.

The class settled down quickly again, enthusiastic for the second boy.

"Nice to meet you, everyone. I'm Oh Sehun and I'll be your care." he gave everyone a straight 90-degree bow before stepping backwards. The class responded with screams from the girls and a 'you mean Sehuna, pretty boy?!' from someone. The teacher told him to be quiet, while Sehun gave no response to any of it except blush furiously.

You smiled at Sehun who gave you a weak nod, then shuffling back to his seat to avoid further redness spreading to his ears.

 

Oh Sehun, at the age of turning 13, promised to be there for you. You were glad you didn't have to repeat a year.

It didn't take long for Sehun to settle in, that was no surprise to you. Sehun has always been a magnet of friends - you were attracted to his magnetism since the beginning. You were glad to be in his circle of friends - with the persistence of Kim Jieun, both of you managed to fit into the circle of boys.

Kim Joonmyun, Do Kyungsoo, Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun - he calls Sehun 'Sehuna' after hearing about it - Oh Sehun and Kim Jongin. Jongin and Sehun stuck together as the new kids since the beginning and never lost touch. The rest were their seniors of different years.

Soon enough the flowers withered and summer rains started drizzling - everyone was thankful that summer was around the corner. That meant hanging onto the lower bounds of passing grades for you. You have never been above average in terms of grades, let alone average. On the other hand, Sehun passed - not with flying colours because he could not English - but with ease.

You were more than thankful to your mum that one afternoon when Sehun came over to your house because he forgot his keys. His parents were always at work, only returning late into the evening, but tried their best to come back home for dinner with him. You walked home with Sehun everyday, but that particular day, Jongin was with you guys. You weren't sure if you liked it as that because Sehun never paid attention to you on these kind of afternoons. Your mother, as the oh-so-ahjumma she was, she loved Oh Sehun. For his pretty face, gentle mannerisms and passing grades. She praised Jongin for his kind gestures and modesty. He offered to clean up the plates after your mother whisked up some snacks for them - warning you that you'll only gain weight eating, while offering the boys some to take home. She never really thought of what she said, often times embarrassing you. More often than not, upsetting you.

You were stressed enough about failing your midterms and you didn't need anymore pressure than that you have given yourself. "Yah... Sehun-ah, why can't she be a little like you. Your homeroom teacher called me today, she said if this one-" she points to you, "doesn't pass the end of years, she'll be repeating this year." Your mother sighed, she spat out more and more comparrisons 'Sehun this, that, but you that, this.'

You've had enough of this and threw your plate into the sink before stomping upstairs - all in loud obvious silence. Your mother groaned in frustration, while the two boys looked at each other awkwardly. You've never understood why people wanted to use power and violence when they're angry - now you know too well. Having been taught violence was never the way, the one and only way you expressed any strong emotions was crying. So, you cried and cried. Jongin had left already when your mother started with dinner. Sehun went home when his parents arrived home. Your father knocked on your door, calling all for supper soon. You cried into your pillow and said you weren't hungry. Half an hour later, there was another defeated knock on your door but you did not answer. You heard the sound of ceramics being placed on the floor.

You're not sure if your mother realised her mistake or not, but later that night, Sehun came knocking on your door. You didn't answer either but he continued knocking tiredly. Soon the knocking died off, replaced by some shuffling before Sehun had his back against the door.

"You know, it's not the end of the world if you fail your midterms. Or, in fact, the year end exams." You didn't say anything because that's exactly what everyone says - because, after all, it does matter.

Silence ate away in Sehun's stomach, while only knackered sobs could be heard from you. So, Sehun continued on - seeing as you're not shooing him away.

"Your mother... You know her better than anyone else, you know she doesn't think before she talks-" he looked around in hopes that the said person wasn't listening, "-she only meant to... um... motivate you."

All be said but wasn't comparing a child with another child a big no-no in Parenting 101? "You're not alone, you know that? You're not the only one carrying the burden of good grades and expectations. You can ask for help, right?"

You took a hasty breath climbing out of your bed onto the floor.

"The teachers... Miss whatever-her-name-is... She'll be willing to help... There're extra classes..." Sehun stopped as if contemplating something in his head as you inched closer to the door.

"I'll help you, if you want. I think- I hope- I can help you. Probably not English-" the boy let out a dry laugh "-but other things I can help."

You crawled near the door, and positioned yourself so you backed the door and laid down hugging you Pom-Pom Purin plushie.

"Sehun..." a whisper seeped through the crack at the bottom of the door. Sehun jumped at the sound of your voice, the first time that evening (apart from the sad cries).

He kept repeating your name softly, almost comforting you.

"You're not alone... You're not alone... I'll be here helping you... You're not alone..." you nodded slowly, giving Sehun a soft 'Uhm' in signal of agreement before drifting off to sleep at the sound of his promise.

 

Oh Sehun, at the age of 13, became class representative. He was popular and somewhat charming.

"Sehuna~ Can I copy your work? Please?" Classmate A leans back on this chair to Sehun's desk.

"What? Aga-"

"Wait. What homework?!" Classmate B came panicking to his desk.

"Maths."

"." Classmate B then invited himself to drag Sehun's neigbouring chair to sit on. "Let me copy, too, class rep."

Sehun started complaining, but took his notebook out, nonetheless. "Maybe I should just let you guys fail..." From the desk behind him, you nodded to Kim Jieun's story about her weekend pretending to understand it.

Only you knew he copied from Jongin.

Rushed homeworks and pages of equations later, Sehun was asked to collect the said works from the class to deliver to the teachers' office after lessons by their maths teacher. As he walked passed his classmates he mumbled, "I just saved your whooping arses again, you s." They flashed him a combo of smiles and peace signs.

Before he leaves with everyone's work, he called out for you; "You're coming with me." After a few questioning glances exchanged between you and Jieun, you got up and followed him out.

"Do you need some help?" you offered to him, reaching out to take the books from him.

"Do I seem that weak to you? Heh." Sehun turned the stack away from your reach. "I'm obviously a pretty boy but I'm not that weak. Thanks for offering, anyway." He gestured you to follow him, and so you did.

"Why'd you call me out?" Your plans on finishing that fantastic YunJae fic (that the author finally decided to start updating again) were interrupted by Sehun's request.

"Nothing... Just... Nothing..."

A few awkward silences later, you started questioning why you're still following him and realised your kiddy crush on him never faded away.

"I-"

"Thi-" you both started after deciding the silence had been dragged on for a second too long.

"You first, mine's not important." You quickly cut in, glad to be able to postpone your question.

Sehun nodded and stared ahead, "This after school you have clean up duty, right?" In which, you hum in response.

"I'll wait for you." Before he scurried off ahead of you.

Your feet stopped its tracks and a smile grew on your lips, thankful that you let him go first because now you didn't have to ask him to go home with you.

Only God (and your maths teacher) got to see Sehun's burning cheeks.

 

Oh Sehun, on his 15th birthday, was late to his party to help you. You fell in love.

It never really went away. Not really, not at all. It just changed forms. Your little kiddy crush turned into so much more. You weren't sure about Sehun, but his small gestures here and there got your hopes up.

You heard a shout for you from outside your window. You looked out to see the person you were wrapping the present for looking straight back at you. You found it somewhat romantic, so you averted your eyes before shouting back, "Be right there!"

You picked up your bag and rushed out the door with a 'Bye, Mum!'

Sehun had walked ahead of you, and damn his long legs took him far. Over just a year, the boy had been growing like a giraffe - but still a kid after all, with his shoes untied. You weren't all that tall either so as fast as your little legs can carry you, you jogged to position yourself next to him.

"How could you let the birthday boy wait for you, I mean, it should've been you waiting for me but I guess, I'll be the gentleman that I am and waiting for the lady. Nothing could really get me down right now, of course nothing, because it's my 15th birthday and like you guys went all the way of throwing me a 'surprise' birthday party - though how it's supposed to be a surprise anymore, I'm not sure - but...."

Sehun tended to ramble, you've noticed, when he's restless. You've noticed how he tended to pull on the straps of his backpack or the hem of his shirt, when he's nervous. You've noticed how his shoelaces would always be in a single-knot when he's excited (they're normally in doubles because he's says they keep coming undone). You've noticed a lot, many trival details about this dork-Oh sitting next to you on the train.

It's been just over 15 minutes on the train and 4 stations away from your house, which was a 5 minute walk away from the station (3 if you cycle) and Oh, lord... Please stop talking. As much as you (now, fully aware) that you like him, hearing him ramble was, not only unusual and slightly annoying, but embarrassing. You couldn't do anything but let the birthday boy talk as you nodded and smiled at him, pretending to listen - after all, this was your forté with Jieun as a bestfriend. You'd tried to interrupt in multiple times but his excitement keeps refraining you.

"-not supposed to be thinking about this but you better get me a good present, because what I gave you las- Hey! Where're you going!?!?!"

The announcement on the train sounded through the metal box, "The doors are closing. The doors are closing." With that, the doors shut behind you and you were off onto the platform. You rushed round to the opposite platform, and stood there panting. Your LG Env2 (i.e. slidey phone) kept ringing and vibrating in the pocket of your jeans. You ought to answer Sehun, at least.

"Hello?"

"What the were you doing? You just got up and left?" You were sure Sehun was being rude to the other passengers.

"Shh. I'm sorry, okay? I-"

"What the hell was that?" He ignored your shushing.

"I'm going home to-"

"What!?"

"Oh, for s sake, listen to me. I'm going to get something important. Just go to the party first, alright? I'll-"

"No."

"-catch... up..." All right, then?

"Wait for me at the station you got off. I'm getting on the train back there now."

"But Sehun! You'll be late! Plus, I need to get it myself."

"If it's just something, then I'll go with you. I'm on the train anyway, it'll be there really soon. This station-"

"It's your present..." you mumbled.

"-isn't far... Are. You. Kidding. Me? You could've just given it to me later!"

"I haven't finished wrapping it yet!" You knew you were getting louder, but you were playing with your nails now.

"Either way!" You really wished he wouldn't come, and  Why the hell is this train not coming yeeettt??

"Also..."

"What. Now????" he's clearly not trying to hide his agitation. "I'm here now. Wait for me on the other side." Sehun's train departed the platform orderly and you could see him walking/stomping up the stairs.

"I... Need to buy... Buy... pads..." from the other side you saw Sehun stop mid-stride.

"Oh." OH SEHUN, THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

"Yeah..." he continued walking up the stairs, evidently calmer now.

"I'll... go with you. And I'll um... text Jongin." The kid hung up and used his new Blackberry Bold to text his friends ('cause, I mean, it's his birthday and rich kid).

He soon arrived next to you, awkwardly blushing as you managed to not look at him. The train finally came and both of you boarded.

"You're... Okay, right?" Both of you sat in empty seats.

You nodded, still avoiding eye contact.

"I mean... No, cramps, right? I heard that whe-" You furiously nodded your head. And Sehun stopped.

A few silences later, "Are you sure you're okay? You don't have to go if you don't feel well, I heard it's painful when you have yo-"  Oh. My. God. You poked his side to shut him up and laughed.

"Okay.. Fine... You're okay, right? Okay, you're okay... I'm sorry for worrying?" You hit his arm gently.

"Oh, Sehun. I'm fine. Stop worrying, okay? Thank you for... Worrying so much, though." In a quieter voice, you whispered "I get this every month, alright? I can handle it." And with that Sehun turned into a tomato.

...And how can I not fall in love with you?

Much of the rest of the journey was sat in silence, except for Sehun mumbling before you got off the station to your homes, "Sorry I got mad, I just wanted to ask you out... Before we got there." Your name rolled off his tongue and you couldn't help but turn to hug him.

 

Oh Sehun, on his 18th Valentine's Day, noticed you were wearing make-up. You dreamed a lot.

Your eyes felt like they were doing weights but Just for today you kept thinking. It's been three years that you and Sehun have been officially a thing - it was going all-too-well. 'Finally.' Jieun had said when you told her.

You wanted to put in the effort to make it special this year. You baked chocolate cake for him and bought him coupons for his favourite bubble tea place. Last night, you stayed over at Jieun's so she could do your make up and hair this morning. You had spent all of this month's allowance on these various types of lipstick - matte, shiney, cherry, raspberry - eye shadows, blush. It should be worth it, you told yourself.

So, in the morning you popped your head into Sehun's classroom. Someone shouted, "Sehun's not here, yet!" You nodded but your heart sulked.

"Go see him during break, then." Jieun patted your back. And to think I was so excited and nervous.

You went again during break, "Still not here!"

Then again during lunch, "He's here but not in the classroom!" Your eyes lit up and skipped back to your classroom, you were probably covering the corridors with flowers as you skipped by. Maybe he's looking for me?

Lunch break passed by with you ending up eating a bun alone, because you wanted to share the lunch box with Sehun. Strange, worrying thoughts were popping in your head here and there.

The last bell rang and you grabbed Sehun's Valentine's cake and rushed out before anything, your things still on your desk. Just as Sehun was about to leave the classroom, you shouted out for him. "Oh Sehun!"

He turned to you and flashed you that heart melting smile. "Happy Valentine's Day. Wanna go to the roof?" You nodded excitedly. Oh? Is there something special? Is this why I didn't see him during the day at all?

You were, after all, a girl and these frilly romantic things that only happened in movies occupied more than half your brain. Maybe it'll happen to you?

Sehun pushed open the rooftop door for you, and you stepped out expecting roses and candles and cake - only to see the bare, plain concrete glaring at you. Oh... A boy is a boy after all... Only disappointment weighed you down.

He closed the door behind you both and held your hand. "Sorry I wasn't here all day."

"Where were you?" You held up the cake in front of you, "This is for y-"

Sehun cut off your sentence with a kiss. He guided you to sit on the floor, still kissing you, and set the cake down aside. After a while, he pulled and looked at you in silence before his lips. "Lip stick... You're wearing make-up." It was your first time wearing make-up and it made you happy he noticed.

He leaned back in to continue the kiss and you volunteeringly fell into the rhythm of his kisses. Between kisses, he breathed out your name and said, "Next time..."

"don't..."

"wear..."

"any"

"lip thing..." You nodded.

"Especially..." You put your arms around his neck and tilted your head.

"Lip gloss..." Something ticked in your head.

"It gets..." tick

"Messy..." tick

"Afterwards..." tick

crack

You abruptly pulled back, "What?"

Sehun looked at you slightly confused, and you didn't back down. You stared right back at those eyes you fell in love with.

"This is the first time I've ever worn make-up, Sehun." Your eyes felt hot but you didn't want to cry. You felt angry, upset and all sorts of other feelings you couldn't name.

Sehun could feel his breath catch in his throat and breathing became a chore. Guilt weighed in his stomach.

"I..." Sehun was out of words while you just stared. Staring was like the only thing you knew how to do. You eyes never left his, even when the boy averted his eyes. From the corners of your eyes - now burning with hot tears, threatening to spill - you could see him fiddle with the hems of his shirt.

"What did the three years mean, Sehun?" Your voice was strained and the boy did not answer.

"Nothing? Even if you don't see me as your girlfriend anymore, did this life-long friend not mean anything to you? At all? We've been together ever since I remember. Sehun, meeting you was my first memory. Has all this been in vain?" The way you said it was more of a statement than a question.

The said boy just sat quietly, with his face down but looked at you. Anger built up in you, the tears you tried to keep in flowed out uncontrollably. You weren't a pretty crier but Sehun's seen you cry many times. One too many times.

"Sehun... Sehun..." You could do nothing but repeat his name life you had when he promised to be beside you.

Sehun felt the déja vu hit him like a wave of tsunami. He felt his own hot tears well up before sliding down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry... So sorry..." Your name rolled off his tongue, the way it did everytime.

You picked up the cake and held it above your head, ready to smash that stupid box of calories - that took you a week to learn to bake - onto him.

You couldn't. Not at Sehun. So you set in on your lap. Sighing, you reached to gently turn his face to face you - like you did everytime. Sehun closed his eyes as you did yours, you leaned forwards and placed your lips on his. It was soft and gentle. Not quite a peck, but not quite a make out. Your lips moved in beat with each other, ever so gently before you leaned away and opened your eyes. Sehun's brown pairs remained closed, his breathing audible and steady.

"Oh Sehun... Thank you for my wonderful high school days." You moved the cake box onto his laps and his eyes shot down to see the rectangular object that was going to hurt him on his laps.

"For old times sake." You put the coupons into his shirt pocket and patted the place where his heart resided.

You got up and wiped your tears off of your cheeks, thankful you used waterproof make-up. Your strides became longer, the further you got from Sehun. It felt like your legs were going to give up on you and bring you crawling pathetically back to Sehun. So, you kept striding.

Sehun shouted your name and you stopped and turned. Stupid, stupid body. It had become second nature for you to turn when you hear that voice calling. Sehun did nothing but stare at you, his hands on the box, his lips whispering your name. All too familiar - his voice, his lips, his eyes, his touch.

You smiled at him like everytime, tears daring to escape.

"Sehuna." The wind carried your voice away.

You closed the door behind you to your classroom. You were thankful that most people have left the school and your journey with red eyes to the classroom was not interrupted. Dejected, you gathered your things into your backpack and prayed no one would come in. It seemed your luck had run out today when the door to the room slid open. You immediately looked down at the stuff and quickly packed everything.

A voice called you out, a voice that sounded so gentle right now. You looked at the owner and saw Jongin. He took a glance at your face and the next second was by your side hugging you.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry..." he trailed off.

You only nodded and returned his hug, crying into his chest. Somehow Jongin knew it was about Sehun. Of course, he would. Always observing from the sidelines. Jongin knew most things. He moved his hands to your head and patted it before sighing. "It's all right, now. It's all right. I'll bring you home. You don't have to talk about it now."

He picked up your things for you, not letting go of you. "Do you want my glasses? To cover your eyes." He took out his glasses from his messenger bag, to which you nodded and put them on.

That evening, you went home with Jongin and offered to buy him a new shirt because your mascara stained it.