- I feel like I am waiting for something that is not going to happen –

Leeteuk

*Leeteuk POV*

I have been in relationship with sora for 3 years. I don’t really remember the exact date but it’s after we went to nami island for my birthday.

*Flashback*

It was after we back from name island. I drove the car from name to seoul. We had have a midnight snack at small tteokbokki hut near her apartment. I know her apartment. But I never go to there.

“sora, can I ask you something?” i asked her while waiting for our tteokbokki

“ne oppa” she answered it confusedly

“why did you kiss me?” I asked

“uhm” she was confused

I was waiting for her answer afraidly. I was afraid she was upset. I even couldn’t dare to see her eyes

“uhm that because its for your birthday present.” She answered it.

“you don’t feel I’m your man? Its okay” I asked again. I gave her my smile. Bitter smile.

“uhm”

The tteokbokki finally ready. We ate it in silence. We usually fed each other but not for that day.

“oppa” while fed me with tteokbokki she called me.

I ignored her. I don’t know why. I was not upset. I was just disappoint

“oppa, why?” she asked me in her sad face and shaking voice

“anieyo. I’m fine.” I answered it without see her face

“are you upset?” she asked me again. Reached my hands but I released it.

“I’m okay I’m okay.” still in my shaking voice

“I’m done. If you done come on let me take you home.” I stood up from my seat and go to the car

“oppa don’t be angry” she held my hand with her two hands in front of car.

“anieyo I’m fine.” I answered it but now with my sincere smile.

I opened the door and she entered it. I go to the other side then I drove her home. We were awkward inside. Eventhough, we wasn’t awkward anymore on screen but the previous conversation led us to another awkwardness.

Finally we arrived at her apartment. I opened the door. Although I was upset as a gentleman I still have to keep my manner.

“thank you oppa.” She said. We were still awkward when suddenly she kissed my left cheek and said “my man”

She left me. I was stiff. I couldn’t use my brain. I feel the whole world was in freeze. Did she said ‘my man’. I stood still there for more than 5 minutes to gain my consciousness.

 *Flashback end*

Now, I am waiting for her. Waiting for something that wouldn’t happened

*Flashback*

October 2012

We were on date at our favorite café. I need to talked about this. I really need to propose her before my military duty. I was waiting for her finished her schedule at the café near her agency.

Finally she come in rush.

“annyeong haseyo oppa.” She greeted me and pull the chair.

“what do you want I will order it for you.” I asked her

“cold americano and croissant please.” She answered it with her beautiful smile.

“oke. Wait here.” She nods cutely

I back to our seat and I saw her busy with her book. She’s studied English now. She said she need to learn it to pursue her dream to become a Hollywood actress.

“when will your last exam?” she startled by my question. She was busy wit her books until she wasn’t realize I already back to my seat.

“2 weeks later. Oppa I’m nervous.” I can hear her afraid voice

“you can do it. Fighting” I smile to her. To give her more spirit

“thank you oppa” she packed her books and put them in her bag.

“btw why suddenly you ask to meet? We usually meet on weekend.” She asked me. Yes we has agreed we set weekend as our time for date and that day was wednesday

“I need something to say” I said it while holding her hands.

“whats that oppa?” she asked me confusedly

“you know I will enlist the end of this month?” I asked her. She nods

I released her hands. I took something from my bag and it was a ring. I need to propose her

She was shocked. “oppa”

“will you waiting for me?” I asked her. I opened the box.

“I love you oppa. I really love you. But I am afraid” she answered it in her trembling voice.

“i didn’t ask you to marry me.” I said it immediately.

“we just engaged, sora” I added

“I already asked from your parents. If you agree we will arrange the event this weekend.” I said it again

She was avoiding my eyes.

“sora look at me” I raised her chin

“I am not ready oppa. Can we just be in this relationship? She asked me

“why sora? You don’t trust me” I was upset hearing her answer.

“its not like that please don’t misunderstand.” She reached my hands and caressed them

“how long time you need to think?” I asked again

“I don’t know oppa. Your enlistment is near and I cant handle with the long distance relationship. I wont force you but if you cant, I’m okay if you look for any other girl” she said while avoiding my eyes. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH HER. Did she ask for break up?

“you don’t want to wait me?” I asked again.

“its not like that” she still bowed her head

“then what?” I raised my voice. I need explanation I don’t understand her mind.

“I will wait for you oppa but please can we keep this relationship as it is?” she asked again

“I’m not ready with further relationship.” She said again.

I still don’t understand, actually. She didn’t want to get engage? But she didn’t want to break up either? But she will wait for me? 2 years is not short. I cant keep my eyes on her of course I really need to engage.  How if other guys get her while I’m not around. She’s shining, beautiful, perfect who wont fall for her?

I still cant manage my face expression but I have to smile. I closed the box and gave it