Oh my God,

It’s tomorrow. The undersecretary of the United States sent by the president himself comes tomorrow, along with la crème de la crème of military experts, generals... Please hide me in your pages, journal, I don’t want to go!!!!!! I’m beginning to understand why Joseph was so edgy all week. If this is supposedly not the first time he meets them and yet is still so nervous about it, how do you think I feel??!  

How do I even greet them? Should I shake their hands? Everyone’s hands? Not shake their hands at all? Or maybe greet them the Korean way and bow? Should I talk or let Joseph do all the talking? What should I wear? A dress? A skirt? Jeans? Heels? Boots? Sandals? Jewelry? No jewelry? I know we can’t wear jewelry in the lab but we’re talking about a state visit! What about the make-up?!

I’ll never be ready. Well, technically I am. I put my presentation speech right in front of the doorstep so I’m sure I won’t forget it and I can recite it both forwards and backwards. But in my eyes, I’ll never be ready TT_TT

Joseph, the whole team and I made sure we didn’t forget anything: the whole lab is nice and clean, the tour is perfectly mapped out, all the reports were simplified as to be both short and clear, and everyone prepared their best smiles. Now everything rests on the boys’ shoulders.

If they are not ready, I’m gonna kill them!!! They are ready. There’s no reason for them not to be ready. Even Joseph admitted it. To them, it’ll just be another training, that’s it. All they have to remember is to say “Hello, my name is…” in English (which was the hardest part of their “new” training, to which I can definitely relate, poor things :-/) one by one and bow to the audience at the end. I just hope they will be okay. What if they become nervous to see so many unknown faces? What if they hurt themselves because they can’t focus on what’s around them anymore?

Maybe I’m over-thinking it. After all, they weren’t that nervous when I arrived. I bet they won’t care at all! And if there’s a problem, Daesung can still smile at them ;)) I know it always works on me!

Now is not the time to be nervous. I must focus on my job and remember all the numbers and statistics I’m going to throw at them (and there are lots of them!). I must neither disappoint Joseph nor the team. I don’t care if they won’t be my friends, I gave up on that eons ago. Once again, all that matters in the end is Joseph. I must make him proud of me and show him that I am still worth all the things he did for me. I want my big wet Good job smooch by the end of the day!  

You just wait Jo-Jo, and all of you big G.I Joes out there, I’m coming,

Joan <3*

* Aaaaaaaaah someone kill me!!! Please sun, don’t rise! Never rise again !!!! I want my mommy TT_TT