When you're too in love to let it go.

Taehyung gaze fixed at his cell phone as he wait for the message from a fellow guy named Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook has been so busy these days, and Taehyung ust can't help but decide to sent 50+ messages to Jungkook because he is worried and to be honest, he miss Jungkook too. It's been a long time since the last time Jungkook message him first. It's always been Taehyung for these past few weeks, and Taehyung is just tired because he feel like Jungkook doesn't make any effort. Taehyung is busy too, but he always try to communicate with Jungkook by sent him text messages everyday. Taehyung do notice that Jungkook has change, he doesn't seem interested to talking with Taehyung anymore, and Jungkook always use 'busy' as an excuse when he doesn't reply to Taehyung's message or when he doesn't answer Taehyung's phone calls. Taehyung try to understand him, a life as a freshman in a college must be hard.

One of Taehyung's friend, Hoseok, once said that Jungkook might not into him anymore, and maybe he just doesn't want to be with Taehyung anymore. Hoseok also said that it's quiet obvious by the way Jungkook has avoided Taehyung's phone calls and Taehyung's invitation for a meeting. But Taehyung is still a Taehyung, he doesn't want to believe it before he hear it from Jungkook himself.

And the other reason is because Taehyung doesn't want it to become true. He loves Jungkook so much that it's hard to imagine a life without him. 

"Hey Jungkook, your phone keeps ringing."

"Ah, it's probably from nothing," Jungkook said as he reach out for his phone. He sigh as he sees the name who keep sending him message, but he decide to just ignore it and even put his phone to silent mode.  "So, how about our plan on Saturday?" 

"I already ask Yugyeom to come with us, and it seems like he is interested to join," Bambam, one of Jungkook's friends that he meet in his first day in college said. "So, it's going to be us, Yugyeom, Jimin, and Yoongi." 

"Great," Jungkook brightly smile. "I can't wait for Saturday. It's going to be fun."

Before Bambam manage to say other things to Jungkook, there is suddenly someone who run to them and that someone quickly took the seat beside Jungkook. It turns out to be Park Jimin, Jungkook's bestfriend since middle school.

"Hello Bambam!" Jimin waved at the Thai boy. "And hello, Kookie!"

"Where's Yoongi?" Instead of answering his bestfriend's question, Jungkook decide to ask about the whereabout of Jimin's boyfriend, Yoongi instead. "It's so un-usual seeing you without him."

"My world doesn't revolve around Yoongi, you know!" Said someone who always cling to a human named Min Yoongi 24/7, Jungkook said inside his head. "He is busy with his assignment, and I decide to give him some alone time to work."

Before Jimin can continue talking, Bambam suddenly got up from his seat. He said that he need to meet someone, and both Jungkook and Jimin just nod their head. The table are silent for a minute, before Jimin decide to break up the silence.

"Jungkook--,"

"Don't. Just don't."

"Jungkook, Taehyung keep asking me about you. He is worried as hell because you wouldn't answer his phone calls and doesn't reply his text messages either. If you want to broke up with him, then just do it. Don't just ignore him like this."

"I can't broke up with him," Jungkook sigh. "I still love him, Jimin."

"Then why you ignore Taehyung like this?"

Jimin wouldn't understand. Someone with a happy and perfect relationship like Jimin wouldn't understand Jungkook's feelings. Jungkook is tired. He is tired with his and Taehyung's constant fight, he is tired with the sad and hurt feelings he had whenever Taehyung did something that would hurt him. Jungkook is tired of being hurt, he is tired of being sad. He wants to be happy, but Taehyung doesn't give him the happiness he want. Jungkook knows that Taehyung always try but it's him who always reject Taehyung's effort to make him happy, and Jungkook also knows that he is being selfish right now, because he knows that Taehyung is tired too. He knows that Taehyung is tired, but Taehyung still want to fight for their relationship. But Jungkook just doesn't feel the same.

It hurts Jungkook very much, being in this relationship with Taehyung because Taehyung is just a dumb one who always forget everything Jungkook said to him. It hurts Jungkook because Taehyung is a dumb one who always act kind to every people that he doesn't make Jungkook feel special because he treat everyone the same. It hurts Jungkook because Taehyung is so damn oblivious about the fact that there are many guys and girls out there who mistaken Taehyung's kindness into flirting. 

But what hurts the most is the fact that Taehyung wouldn't make any effort sometimes. When Jungkook being angry at him, he would just say 'i'm sorry, don't be mad at me anymore please' without saying anything else. Taehyung always thought that saying sorry will solve everything. Taehyung would easily give up when it comes to an angry Jungkook, and Jungkook doesn't like it at all. 

Jungkook knows that he is at fault too because he get angry easily. He knows that he can be overly sensitive sometimes, but he just wants Taehyung to understand him.

It hurts to be in a relationship like this with Taehyung, but Jungkook can't say to Taehyung that he wants to broke up either. Because deep down inside, he still loves Taehyung and it will be very hard to let Taehyung go. 

If I hold on to you, it hurts. But if I let you go, it hurts even more.