Even when everyone said that you were a bad boy, I liked you for being real

It felt right, but they were right

She is leaving

And I can’t do anything

21 missed calls, 21 messages. I know who it came from, even not bothering to see. I read your first message, asking me to listen to it. You didn’t need to, for I know, even how much I stop myself I just couldn’t. I am fool, am I not?

From the moment we first met, I got used to your indifference

And it’s wrong, it’s been so long

Love is leaving

Like a fool, I’m blankly standing here

Even before I started falling for you, I knew your indifference, I knew how you to act like you just don’t care, I knew that at times you tend to not notice how you are hurting me. But I still fell for you, allowed myself to fall deeply, madly inlove with you.  I’m used to looking at my back and seeing you just standing there, whenever I wanted to give up. You wouldn’t even run after me coz you know I’ll be the one to do so.

Can you feel the heart-pounding-feeling that you longed for?

From the girl who is in your eyes right now?

I’m looking at her, getting farther away

She becomes a small dot, then disappears

I knew you loved and cared for me once, I was just so stubborn then not to admit it to myself. I turned blind-eyed with how you treated me like a dust that you could blow off so easy. I knew that you have changed, from being your star, I became I mere dot, unworthy of your attention. But I hold on, believed that one day, you’d realized.

But just like what you have said, the excitement, that heart-pounding feeling you used to have whenever we are together, was not just there anymore. That’s when I woke up from my idiocy. That’s when I decided that this foolishness has to stop.

That beautiful girl, won’t have tears for you

She won’t even wait for you like this

Will this go after time passes?

I remember the old times, I remember you

The first steps I took from walking out of your life were the hardest. It felt  like I was dragging tons of solid rocks behind me. And every step I took, I kept glancing back, hoping that you would stop me. But to my utter frustration you didn’t.

I waited for you, days and nights. Kept making excuses why you weren’t able to neither send me a message nor call me. Even when I heard from people around me telling stories how you partied hard, that you were with her. I turned deaf, hoped and prayed, that’s how fool I was.

Why do good girls like bad boys?

Why do bad boys like bad girls?

That’s why I love you, but why don’t you know my heart?

If you, If you

If it’s not too late

Can’t we get back together?

I thought it won’t get any worst. But you were always full of surprises; you were still that guy who was so unpredictable. You just had to slap into my face how happy you were with her. You just needed to show the world how she had become your new source of happiness.

There I was, wallowing in my sorrows, hoping that one day it would still be me and you. How foolish of me to think that I was still your world. How foolish of me to locked up myself for the pain was unbearable. And there you were, parading the new love of your life.

You were my world, I limited myself to our own circle of friends, denied any invitations from my friends so I’d always be there for you, turned down every opportunity to shine more for I don’t want you upset. Right there and then, I gathered myself up, pulled out the courage to lock up all the sentiments and memories I have for and of you.  And I told myself, there will be no more US.

Coz I’m so good to you, you love her but her kiss is a lie

Coz I’m so good to you, you kiss her but your love is a lie

If you, If you

If you’re struggling like I am

Can’t we make things a little easier?

I struggled; I was like a child trying to walk for the first time. You were my pillar, every decision and steps I took should have been compromised with yours. I was used to you being the center of my world. I was used to dreaming things with you in it. It was hard, luckily, I have friends and family who were there every steps I took, picked me up whenever I crumbled.

I should have been good to you when you were around

I have realized that I had been too good to you, that I forgot myself. Now, I finally see myself of all the worth that I am.

Can you say the words from when you first confessed to me, to her, who is smiling in front of you right now?

The girl who has you, won’t have any foolish tears

She won’t even have this longing for you

I believed it when you said you loved me

I wanted to believe that you were different from other guys

Like a fool, I gave you my heart

Because of you I’m locked in a deep sadness, swallowing my tears alone

How about you?

Are you really fine?

Guess are break up is setting

Days, months had already passed, I started getting a hang of all the things that had happened. Finally opened myself to meet new people, found the chance to improve myself and finally, I started reaching my dreams.

I started acting again, the thing that you forbid me coz you were jealous of the guys that might get paired up with me, then I wonder, are you? Fool. As soon I realized what I had just asked myself, I shook off hose feeling, and told myself that this is for me.

I started meeting and gaining new friends. I’m usually out with them, I enjoyed myself, at times I just don’t want to go back home, for in my lonesome, that’s when I have nightmares, nightmares of our memories. I kept telling myself that I’m ok, kept believing it, but that hunting feeling of a love lost still lingers in me. But you will never know, you’ll never get the chance to see that vulnerable side of me.

Did it have to be me? Why did you do that?

Was it a sin to love you? Why am I the only one hurting?

I should let you go but it’s not easy

Now, once again, you try rescinding the world I have managed to build, a world that you’re not in it. You have asked me once to let you go, beg me even, why do you have to write this song and ask me to listen to it? I’m whole again, are you that cruel to break me into pieces again?

You sweetly melted me, you lightly deceived me

You hotly drenched me, you coldly left me

Just like today, on a drizzling day

I remember your shadow

Do you remember that day? That day you have begged me to let go? That day you told me that you were suffocated of what we have? That you have found someone else? That I was not longer making you happy?

It was pouring rain, the tears sliding onto my cheeks mixed with droplets of the rain. It was cold, not because of the wind blowing, but because how you didn’t wrap your arms around me. I closed my eyes, hoping that it was just a dream, but when I opened my eyes, I only saw your shadow getting farther away and never looked back.

Cuz I was good to you, I just can’t cut you out

Maybe I was too good for you; it’s no use being good

Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer

I take them out and reminisce again by myself

Why didn’t I know the weight of sadness that comes with breaking up?

You had your chance Ji, chances to be précised. But you just took it all for granted. I was just too good to you then, too good to fool myself in believing that you there was still us. All was in the past Ji, all we had our just memories that I’m choosing to lock up in my drawer. And I have no intentions of opening it again, coz I’m scared to be weak again.

I hope I can say what No Woori had said, that, “I think you forgot the fact that I just have no feelings left for you to mind your love affair.”

 I loved you, still love you and will always do. But it will be just feelings vaulted up and will never be vulnerable to get broken. There will never be us anymore coz,

We broke up.