"Where'd he go? I told you to watch him! Find him now and bring him back here or else you're all fired!" I heard the event's producer yell at the security guards. 

I feel guilty for my selfishness to be the cause of their impending unemployment but for now, I really needed this escape. I promise I'll make it up to them later. I weaved my way through the crowd, did my best to go undetected, until finally, I reached my destination. I was enjoying the solitude of the moment when suddenly, a young boy (perhaps a senior in high school) suddenly took a seat right next to me. 

"So how does it feel hyung? To be on top of the world? How does it feel to have the crowd scream your name? How's it like whenever you see your songs achieve an all-kill? Do you still feel grateful and in awe whenever you win an award? Tell me, hyung. I want to know." 

I took a glance at him and recognized the young man to be my company's recent favorite trainee. I took a deep breath and sighed. 

"What kind of answer are you hoping to get, kiddo?" I .

"Just the truth." He answered sincerely.

"The truth is....all of that...at the end of the day. It feels...." I paused for a second and tried not to let the reality of it wrap me in its bittersweet embrace.

"LONELY. That's how it is. It feels lonely." I said. He didn't say a word after that. He just stood up silently and pat my back before leaving me to my own dangerous thoughts.

I'm out here all alone, counting the stars, and found myself thinking of her. I thought about our memories, and how everything I've loved and once had, has now become everything I've lost. I remember that day we first met, when I mistook her for a crazy obssessive fan while lashing out at her. I remember how she slapped me hard and every word she said after that. I remember how it all began. Loving her was the most exquisite form of self-destruction, and even if I knew I'd suffer the heartache, I'd do it all over again. 

The rain began to pour and yet I didn't even bother to seek shelter. In this moment, I'd rather delude myself into thinking that I'm one with nature. That maybe the rain is my tears during the cloudiest hours and the thunder and lightning are sounds of my heart breaking. I laughed bitterly upon recalling that time I told her to stay away from me. I remembered the words I told her as if it were just yesterday:

"Do not fall in love with me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments and kiss you in every beautiful place so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible and when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people."

I wish my memory would just stop there, but damn my parents for letting me inherit their superior minds for I could still recall her response while having the entire scene vividly playing inside my head:

"Well then that's too bad. You should've told me that before I fell in love with you. Now it's too late. I'm not letting you off easily. You have to be responsible of this stupid heart of mine for making it beat so fast just when I never even wanted it to beat at all. Be a man and take responsibility."

I laughed as the tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. I remember everything about her, the way her eyes would twinkle whenever she smiled, the way her nose would flare whenever she gets upset, and so much more that it breaks my soul to an irreparable state. 

In my muddled confusion and messed up emotions, I found myself knocking at her door. It took a lifetime for her to open it but when she did, I was greeted with a glare. Before I could be slapped with a rejection, I got on my knees and begged her to listen to me, promising that this will be the last.

"You're right...I do have trouble sleeping at night for breaking your heart. How can I not? But you know what? I guess you're experiencing the same thing too, huh? Because you broke my heart just as how I broke yours. All is fair? Maybe. I know I'm not making sense right now, even I couldn't understand myself...I just wanted you to know that...I LIED. I lied when I said I didn't love you anymore. I lied when I told you never to call me again. I lied when I said I don't need you, because the truth is, I still love you. I still want to hear your voice at 4am or at midnight. Whenever the phone rings, I always hope it'll be you, no matter how twisted and selfish it may seem. I need you more than air and I realized it a second too late when you started to walk away. 

I know this is selfish but since this will be the last, I'll tell you anyway. One day, I might probably see you holding hands with someone who took the chance that I wasted. You might not even notice me because you're too busy laughing with the stupid jokes he makes. It will burn my heart seeing that beautiful smile on your face and realizing that I'm not the reason for it anymore. The truth of it will hit me again and again until I could take it no more...that it's you. It's always been you...and I'm a fool to have lost the moon for chasing dimly lit stars...

So uh..before that day comes, I'm telling you in advance, that for the rest of my life, and in the next, it's always going to be you. I'll never expect you'd feel the same for me too after all that's happened, but at least, know for certain that no matter who will enter your life, no one will love you more than I do right at this second..

Uh...yeah...so..uh..that's it...." 

I couldn't utter a goodbye so before I could even hear her reply, I took the chance to run away. In the middle of the dimlit street, I ran until I could hear a faint voice calling out my name from afar. I stopped in my tracks and listened well until that person is now standing right in front of me...Her. 

There were tears in her eyes and I couldn't decipher the meaning behind it. 

"YOU PABO!" she scolded me lightly as she hit my shoulder repeatedly. I caught her hand to put an end to it until I braved myself to capture her in an embrace. So it's true. That maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you're at your worst. I felt her arm hold on to me tighter and even if her face was buried in my chest, I heard that simple sentence which brought light to my dark world:

"I just want you to know too...that in this lifetime and the next, my answer will always be you."

END.

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I silently made a ten second countdown before I heard the muffled sniffs of the person beside me. Wordlessly, I held out a box of tissue, which she gladly accepted without hesitation. I did another countdown until the gentle cries became a full-blown sob. I knew this would happen. It always does.

"Ya! What's so sad? Why are you crying? The movie had a happy ending anyway!" I as I scooped her up in my arms.

"Bec..b-because after everything they still ended up together. I'm just so...soo....happy and sad at the same time...it's so romantic and touching!" 

"I don't get what's so romantic about an airheaded rockstar wannabe who ditched his girlfriend only to go back to her in the end." I said, a remark which was then rewarded with a glowering facial expression and menacing stare.

"Aish. I knew it. We should've watched that Spy movie! At least by now we'd be laughing instead of you crying." I huffed. 

"I love you." Just three words and everything else faded in the background. This yeoja and her sneaky ways to melt my anger. 

"I love you too. Now let's go to sleep." I kissed her goodnight and cradled her in my arms.

It's been five years since we got married and eight since we were together and yet, everything is still the same. I smiled to myself as I drew her closer to me. My wife. Seo Joohyun. She's not perfect, no. But in moments such as this, when we're lying on our bed and she fits my limbs so easily...when she's dragging her lips on my neck even in her sleep...I guess I'm allowed to boast that she's pretty damn close..and truth be told, that kind of perfect imperfection is more than enough for me.

-THE END-