‘Forget to breathe’

One shot

It wasn’t your thing. 
Attention, you know? You don’t want to have that much attention. You loved being in the back with your problems. You had to worry about something. It would be boring to be loved by everyone. You more prefer annoying people with my problems.
OF COURSE NOT!
You want to leave this hell. You want to be free from this sh*t.
You felt ugly and useless. But you didn’t tell anyone. Why?
No one cares about you, and no one should, because you’re a piece of sh*t right?
Well until that day.
There was this woman, blonde and tall, she just came up to you and smiled as if she won in the lottery. She asked you to talk about your problems for the camera. She asked so many people. And you. You didn’t agree at first, but being followed around by a creepy, tall and blonde woman isn’t even better.

“I hate myself. I feel ugly and useless. I don’t want the attention from others, it’s stressing. Of course, I dream of being the No 1. But I can’t be one, while hating myself. I hurt myself and I think no one likes me. Not even my family. They live apart from me. So, nothing to lose. Thank you.”

“And what could help you?”

“Being loved by the one I love.” 
She smiled.
“Who?” 
“As if I would tell that one to the camera.” You smiled.
You rarely smile.
“Is he in your year?” You just grinned and gave her a small nod. She smiled again and your smile left. “Can I leave now?” She nodded.

Ever since you got messages. 

Yes, someone seriously noticed you.
At the first few ones were only Emoticons or hearts, useless.
You always were confused and felt pranked. You thought about the reason. Maybe because you gained weight?
So you stopped eating. You only drank water and ate about an apple a day. It was hard, but you were chubby, you had to change, so that someone could love you. 
One day, there was this apple on your table. And a message: ‘Please eat more! I’m worrying.’ As if. 
You threw the apple away and leaned against the wall angrily. You wanted to be left alone, to get a rid of everyone around you.
After dropping a lesson, you came back. 

‘You’re beautiful and someone forgets to breathe when they see you.’

You got red. You got red because of a stupid letter, written by someone, who didn’t even care about you. But you weren’t able to throw it away. You kept it. 

For a few days there were those useless notes again.
After you were ill for a few days, okay you’ve been hospitalized for not eating enough, you got another note.

‘If only you knew how much I love you. I don’t even know what to do, when you’re not around.’
Your mouth hopped up a few times and you cried then. Not long, but you did.

‘I’m happy to see you again.’

‘I am going to fall in love with you. You don’t even have to love me back. I’m going to give you my heart.’

Everyday.

Smiling for a few seconds.

There was this school party. You wouldn’t be there if your crush wouldn’t sing there. But he did. You saw your definition of perfection up on stage.

_________ (Bias Name)

You wanted to scream his/her name.  But everyone would laugh at you. You stood in the back, looking at your crush. His/her hair was so beautiful, his/her voice was unbelievable. 
And then he/she sang every line. Every message / note you received. You just cried. He / she looked directly at you. 
It felt like a dream.
It wasn’t one. He / She came up to you, smiled and you two hugged each other gently.
Then your lips nearly touched.

“WAKE UP, IT’S SCHOOL AGAIN!” 
“AISH MUM!” You threw your blanket away and sat up. 
Of course it was a dream. How could a story like this happen? 
Yes, only in a fan fiction, movie or dream.

In school _________ (Bias Name) came up to you, kissed your head and smiled. 
You were confused.
“You forgot yesterday evening so fast?”