Update!(1) Posted more of the story, and edited the previous parts. Thanks for viewing this.

Posting the first half of the short story. Hurt/comfort. Noona-dongsaeng relationship

-1/3-

It’s a small and stupid feeling, a thing really, but she can’t help but let it consume her. Ji Hyo knows that she’s not really, well, ugly, and that the constant teasing was all in good fun, but sometimes, times like these, it hurts.

She lets out a small sigh, and she looks over at the female guests of the episode. Skinny, pretty and young. She knows it isn’t the fault of these idols that her screen time has been cut significantly, since they are the guests after all. But it’s times like these that she starts to wonder if she is getting uglier. She is getting older, and this frustrates her to no end. Not to mention her weight.

It’s stupid, but Ji Hyo can’t help it.

-

Kwang Soo looks over to his Noona, who has a blank face on her. However, he notices the little sigh she lets out and the looks of envy she had hot towards the idols when she thought no one was looking at her.

Noona must be thinking about her appearance again…

Kwang Soo had noticed that his Noona had been more moody lately , and her smiles were not as wide when the other members were teasing her, especially when they compare her to the guests.

He quietly (although it was very obvious due to his height), walks towards Ji Hyo and bend his back slightly so that his mouth is beside Ji Hyo’s left ear. “Noona, are you upset again?”

Ji Hyo became still for a few seconds and Kwang Soo starts to wonder if he had gotten the wrong signals from Ji Hyo, but then he sees the small nod she gave him. Before he feels the pain in his head.

“Yah!” Ji Hyo shouts, and starts tugging at his hair. Instinctively, Kwang Soo retaliates by grabbing fistfuls of Ji Hyo’s hair, as the two started to squabble.

“Aigoo, look at those two fighting.” Jae Suk commentes as the rest of the members and guests look on with amusement and interest.

Kwang Soo could spot the “Bad Ji Hyo” character which has appeared and realised that he was too intimate with her on screen. Quickly, he takes on the betrayer role and shoutes back “Song Ji Yok had just cursed at me!”

Laughter could be heard and Kwang Soo decides to end the fight before it startes to drag.

 He will need to talk with his Noona after the recording.

-

Ji Hyo fidgeted. She had seen the look from Kwang Soo and was eager to escape the potential talk that would arise. She would prefer to solve her own problems by herself rather than relying on others to do it for her. Besides, it wasn’t even a big problem. Just a minor self-esteem issue.

Where is her manager?  Ji Hyo bites her inner cheek while her eyes scan the area, wanting to avoid Kwang Soo. To her surprise, the giraffe was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone home. She lets out a sigh of relief. Both at the disappearance of Kwang Soo, and the sight of her familiar black car.

She quickly opens the car door. “Thanks, Oppa, I had no idea-“. As she unconsciously sits herself in her usual seat, she sees the giraffe on the opposite side of her seat. Oh god.

“Hyung, lock the door please!” Kwang Soo commands as he sees Ji Hyo trying to leave the car.

Click.

With nowhere else to escape, Ji Hyo huffs in defeat. “What do you want from me?”

-2/3-

“I think it’ll be better if we talk alone,” Kwang Soo murmurs. As much as Ji Hyo’s manager was close to her, Kwang Soo feels that the entrance of another person would make his Noona more unwilling to talk to him.

“Alright… Oppa, can you take us to the nearest café?” Ji Hyo asked. Her manager nods.

The journey towards the café was filled with uncomfortable silence with Kwang Soo fumbling awkwardly around his seat, and Ji Hyo with her arms crossed.

Ji Hyo’s manager drives them to a secluded family business café . “The latte is nice, remember to help me order one when you’re leaving.” Ji Hyo’s manager smiles and unlocks the door.

“Thanks, Oppa. I’ll call you when I’m ready to leave.” Ji Hyo exited the door, and waits while she sees Kwang Soo trying to exit from the other side, but failing miserably as he hits his head against the car celling. “Ugh, Kwang Soo.” Ji Hyo grumbles. “Quickly.”

“Noona…” Kwang Soo calls out pitifully. “I think I’m… stuck.”

“Oh god.” Ji Hyo lifts both her arms up in the sky in disbelief and rolled her eyes but she walks around the back of the car and went to Kwang Soo’s side. “Sit down first!”

Kwang Soo whines but complies, folding his long limbs back into a sitting position.

“Put your legs out first, and bend your head when coming out.” Ji Hyo orders and watches as Kwang Soo follows her commands. “How did you even get into my car in the first place?”

“I had the help of your manager, and seriously Noona, can you consider buying a car which welcomes taller people.” Kwang Soo whines.

“Shut up. And no way in hell am I letting you into my car again.” Ji Hyo stares at Kwang Soo, before stifling a giggle which was bubbling inside her. The situation was pretty funny. She quickly bites her lower lip to stop the smile which was threatening to form on her face. She was supposed to be angry at Kwang Soo.

Kwang Soos secretly rejoices as his eyes caught the familiar curve on his Noona’s mouth. At least she isn’t that angry at me now.

“You better me buying me coffee.”

-

The two are sitting on a flight of stairs which has a nice view of the quaint village which they had filming earlier in the day. The air was filled with the sounds of them sipping on their coffee. No one was willing to start a conversation.

Kwang Soo finally relents, and realises that he was the one who had asked Ji Hyo out, so he should be the one starting the conversation. Except he has no idea how to do so.

“Noona, I-“

“Kwang Soo ya,” Ji Hyo interrupts. “Do you think that Noona looks ugly?”

“Of course not!” The answer flies out of Kwang Soo’s mouth. “Noona, why are you even thinking of such thoughts, you were never like that in the past.”

“I… I just…” Ji Hyo hesitates and looks into Kwang Soo’s eyes, which were bright and attentive. She couldn’t bear to admit it herself. “It’s just…I… nothing much, just a weird feeling I get sometimes. I must be getting old haha.” Ji Hyo laughs awkwardly and turns her body slightly away.

“Really?” Kwang Soo asks suspiciously. “I sincerely doubt so.” He places his hands on Ji Hyo’s lap. ‘Is it, because of him?”

Ji Hyo freezes. How did Kwang Soo- No, it must be a wild guess from him. She tries to shakes it off. “Silly, I’m having a pretty good relationship with him. I’ve already told you, it’s just an older woman thing.” Ji Hyo hastily swipes Kwang Soo’s hands away from her lap and tries to stand up.

Kwang Soo was quicker. He grabs Ji Hyo’s hands before she could fully stand up. It is because of him. Kwang Soo knows because Ji Hyo had never called him Silly before. Throughout his 4 years of knowing her, Ji Hyo had hurled several abusive words (Like stupid), and actions (Such as beating him up), on and off-screen, but never Silly.  

“Noona, stop lying to yourself.” Kwang Soo stands up as Ji Hyo continues to have her body turned away from him. “Even the rest of the family had sense that something was wrong.” It was true. During a dinner with his other Hyungs, Ji Hyo excluded as she had something on, they had discussed about the weird behaviour that Ji Hyo had recently adopted. However, they shook it off as being just a phase while Kwang Soo thought otherwise.

“Let me go.”

“No, Noona. I will not be leaving until you tell me what is wrong.” Kwang Soo was determined to finish this once and for all. It hurts him to see his Noona unhappy.

“Kwang Soo, if you want me to still consider you as my dongsaeng, you will let me go. Or you can forget you ever had me as your Noona.” Ji Hyo said quietly.

“Noona.”Kwang Soo screams internally, confused at whether he should let go.

“Kwang Soo.” Ji Hyo says, dangerously calm. “It is not your place to interfere in my relationships with others, especially when it comes to him.”

Kwang Soo lets go of her hand.

“Thanks for your concern, but I don’t need it. I can call my manager to bring you home.” Ji Hyo finally turns around and gives Kwang Soo a small smile. She takes out her phone from her pocket.

“You know what Noona, I don’t even care anymore.” Kwang Soo closes the distance between them and wraps his long arms around Ji Hyo, enveloping her in a hug.

“Wha-“

“I don’t care if I’m no longer your dongsaeng. Heck, I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t want you be hurting anymore.”

“Kwang Soo. Get off me.” Anger was evident in Ji Hyo’s voice as she struggled to free herself from Kwang Soo’s grip.

“No, you listen to me. Call me selfish, but it hurts me when I see you hurting. It hurts me while I stand aside and watch as he hurts you. It hurts me to see you think lesser about yourself. It hurt me see you hate you for who you are.” Kwang Soo voice dies out at the end as his breathing became unsteady, tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.

“…” Ji Hyo stops struggling, and for the first time, she seriously considers to end her relationship with him. It is because of him that I’m changing? Changing to someone who hates herself? Or is Kwang Soo exaggerating?

Ji Hyo feels the familiar tightness in her chest, which she had been controlling for the past few weeks. Is Kwang Soo right? Have I been changing? Since when did I even start to hate idols? Don’t I usually feel like a proud older sister when they get more screen time and make them feel comfortable on the set? “I- I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.” She could sense wetness on her head, and realises that Kwang Soo was crying. Because of her. For her.

"Kwang soo. N-Noona is sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She gently pats Kwang Soo. She was stronger than this. She would not.

“N-No.” Kwang soo sniffles. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry.”

“It’s okay.”

She would not. She would not. She would not… cry.

Ji Hyo sees her vision becoming blurry and the tears which were welling up in her for the past weeks flows out of her.

-