“I’m going back to Singapore.” You said before you pressed your face on the pillow under you, groaning and wagging your feet with your hands clutching the pillow really tight, so tight you thought you might cut a hole into it. You jumped to your bed immediately after you entered your room with Rina following you. 
“Yah! Don’t be so pessimistic!” You heard your cousin said and then felt the bed on your side droop when she sat beside you.
“No! I want to go back!” You’re so upset. You’re so mad. You did your best. Yet Yang Hyunsuk still didn’t choose you. You don’t know what you did wrong. You were so confident that he’s going to choose you because of his comments. You felt so betrayed and misled. “I’ll just audition for a recording company there, at least I won’t have to worry about translating the songs I’ve already written to Hangul.” You said.
“Quit sourgraping, Kaela. You are SM’s first choice. You’re still in for the next round.” Rina pushed you so you’d roll over. She wants you to look at her, because right now she’s just put on her I’m-older-than-you-so-you-listen-to-me persona with her hands on her sides looking so ready for a lecture. 
“But I don’t want SM!” You whined. “Can’t you see? I belong in YG. My style suits YG best.”
“But YG didn’t choose you, so move on!” She purposely raised her voice to get your attention. 
She’s right. YG didn’t choose you. “You’re right. I have to move on. That’s why I’m going back to Singapore so I can start-over and move on there.” 
When you noticed something flying towards you, it was too late because it already landed on your face. Rina threw a pillow on your face! It didn’t hurt though, but still! “If you quit, you won’t be able to make Yang Hyunsuk regret his decision. Plus this is just the casting round, they haven’t offered contracts yet. You might still be able to change his mind. If you win this contest, you will be the one to get to choose your agency, remember?” She ranted. And she has a point. You did tell the staff earlier who interviewed you before your performance that if YG doesn’t cast you, you will make him regret it. Rina is right. Gah, when is she wrong? “So, you’re still one of the strongest contestants because you are SM’s first choice...” 
There she goes again. She’d been building up SM Entertainment to you since day one. “Yah, yah... How much did SM pay you, huh?”
Rina raised her brow at you, pretending to look insulted. “Why are you so against the idea of being in SM? They’re bigger than YG technically and they’re so good with marketing and they’ll be able to-”
“No. No. No. No. No.” You rose to a sitting position so you can level with Rina. “I don’t want to be an idol. They’re just going to dress me up in pink like Barbie, make me do aegyo and worse- much worse, make me dance!” 
To your dismay, Rina just laughed at your face. You gave her a look. “Mianhe. I’m just-” She tried to calm her system first before she spoke again. “Didn’t you hear what BoA said when she called your name?” She asked and you tried to remember but you didn’t hear it. You were already so consumed with fury to even focus on the events after Yang Hyunsuk called out his choices. You only realized that BoA called you when another contestant beside you pushed you forward. Rina rolled her eyes, “She said that it may be about time for SM to have someone as unique as you for a change.”
You shrugged. “Easy for her to say. She’s not the boss.” You find it hard to believe that SM is actually capable of keeping their hands off of everything about their artist. You’ve heard so much about that company. And so much about YG too that’s why you’re so interested in being a part of their family. 
“And you think YG is any different?” She countered. You chose to keep your silence. Again, she has a point. “This is Kpop world you’re trying to enter, Kaela. In here, artists don’t get that much artistic freedom; most especially in the big three labels. In here, artists are told what to dance, what to sing and even what to say.”
You grimaced at the mental image. “You do realize that you’re only making me want to quit all the more, do you?”
Rina smiled, shaking her head. “What I’m saying is, if you want to break-in to Kpop and still retain your sound and your style; you have to be smart. I know you only want to to share your music.” She said and she’s right, you don’t really care about other things aside from being able to sing your songs and make more music of your own and not being able to do so would be a deal breaker for you. “But-”
“So you’re saying that SM is the smart choice?” You asked, trying to beat her to her point. 
“Maybe. I really don’t know.” She answered and you made a face at her but she wasn’t distracted. “For now, don’t think about which company you’re going to end up with. What you need to work on first is to please the audience, capture their hearts and get their votes. You need to gather a fan-base. Your goal for now should only be to win. It will be easier afterwards because if you win; and you already have a huge following, you will get to negotiate your own terms and conditions to all the entertainment companies who wants you to debut under their label.”
You clapped your hands. “I knew I should have chosen Korea University instead of NUS.” You said and Rina laughed so hard. 

$$$

The battle audition is up next and here you are, so early in the morning looking for a parking space at SM Entertainment’s headquarters in Cheongdam for training; that’s what you were told. You’re all instructed to gather outside the building together with all the other contestants casted by SM from the previous round. This is the part where one contestant from each company are to do a face off and the first placing contestants will automatically proceed to the top 10 while the second placing contestants will face the other second placers and the last placing contestants finally get’s eliminated. 
After your talk with Rina, you’ve officially finalized your game plan. The goal as of the moment is to win this contest and then everything else according to Rina’s plans follows. She said your anger is okay. It’s good. You can use it to your benefit, to motivate you. Right now all that you want to do is to sweep Yang Hyunsuk off of his feet and make him take his words back. 
You sighed as you shook your head. Men.
You decided to park in front of a closed clothing store a block away from the building thinking that since you’re not really an SM trainee or employee, you wouldn’t be allowed to park in their own parking area. Plus this store looked like they’re already out of business so it’s probably okay to park here. 
As you get closer to the building, you noticed a lot of people in front of it. It was actually the Kpop Star staffs and crew that have assembled in front of the building. There were other people that have started to crowd the area too, curious about the commotion. 
A staff saw and recognized you and you greeted her. She’s one of the floor managers of the show. She told you to follow her so you did. 
“Annyeonghaseyo!” You said, smiling and bowing to the staff you met as you passed by. The moment you were spotted, one of the camera men immediately turned the lens on your direction.
Rina told you to please the audience. Oh please. You’re here in this business to express and not to impress. However, she’s right. Golly, how many times do you have to say that she’s right? There! You said it again. 
It’s just that you can’t bring yourself to act in front of the camera. If people would like you, they’d have to like you for who you are.
Koreans are a big er for aegyo. Anything and anyone that’s cute, basically. And you’re not cute! You don’t want to be cute! You’re cool. And unique. That’s how you want to be identified. 
So as the camera approaches you, you greeted the cameraman, bowed and smiled a little and passed by him immediately looking for the floor manager who was walking so fast. The other contestants are gathered in front of the building’s entrance. They haven’t noticed you yet. A small SM Entertainment logo can be found right beside the entrance of the building too. 
But the moment you moved to start walking, you felt something on your feet pulling it backwards when the rest of your body was already moving forward. Later on, you found yourself sprawled on the ground and thank heavens for instinctive reflex because you automatically had your hands on the ground to prevent your face from being intimate with the earth’s rough surface. You heard the sound of footsteps towards you now, you know you’ve just gathered everyone’s attention and even the bystanders. How embarrassing. There were two pair of hands holding your arm and touching your shoulder.
“Gwenchanayo?” 
“Gwenchanayo, Mikaela-sshi?” Asked the staffs.
“Gwenchana.” You uttered. You’re fine. You’re not hurt. Except your image. You bit your lower lip and lowered your face to hide it. You remembered the camera. You looked on the other side so it won’t record your face and looked down to your feet to see what caused your fall only to realize it was an electrical cable that is in fact connected to the cameraman’s camera! 
“Come on, get up now. Hold on to me. Can you stand?” Asked one of the staff and you did hold on to her as she assisted you ‘til you’re on your feet. Then they checked for any injuries on your body.
You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled in your throat at your mishap. You didn’t have a choice but to look at the cameraman, your shoulders still shaking because you didn’t want to laugh but you can’t hold it. “You’re not going to broadcast that, are you?” You asked. “You’re laughing at me.” You made a face at him. 
The camera man just smiled, also stopping a laugh. “Mianhe...” He said. He still has the camera on you, so you forced a frown on your face. 
“But it’s your fault, oppa! It was your camera’s cable that tripped me. You should at least make it up to me by deleting that part.” You walked towards the cameraman. The staffs behind you who helped you up were laughing, as well as the other cameramen on the corner. “Please delete that, hm?” You cocked your head to the side, really wanting to convince the cameraman but instead he keeps on pointing the camera to your face. 
“It’s not my job.” He said. 
“Chincha? Whose job is it?” You asked again, determined to beg. 
“He’s not here.” He answered. 
Frowning some more, you even stomped your feet because it looks like they’re all ganging up on you and they’re not taking you seriously when you are as serious as a heart attack. They better not broadcast that part or else your image is going to be ruined. A cool person is not clumsy, and though you are a little awkward and you lack grace with your movements; the audience does not need to know. “Kojinmal.” You said and he laughed even more. “Ahh, you’ll delete that part right? It’s a waste of airtime anyway.”
“It’s cute. You still look cute, even now so don’t worry.” The other cameraman behind the one you’re attacking right now said. 
Cute! What in the world? They did not just call you that.
“I’m not cute! I’m cool.” You declared and they all laughed all the more and that’s when you know you have to give up. Image be damned. You’re not going to waste time talking to them anymore. You sighed and pointed your index and middle finger at your eyes and then pointed the index finger at the cameraman in your I’m-watching-you gesture. But instead they all laughed again, which; in the process, made you laugh too. So before you embarrass yourself even more, you walked away from them. 
When you joined the other contestants, they asked you what happened and you only smiled and politely diverted the topic to something else as smoothly as you can. The thing is, the only person you find yourself comfortable with is Yoojin but she probably is currently in YG Entertainment’s building. You sighed once again. There’s also the possibility that you’re gonna go up against her too. She’s also really good so you consider her as one of your strongest competitor.
BoA came out from the building shortly after and the recording has begun. She praised all of you for making it to this round and encouraged you all to do your best so that you’d make it to the top ten which is the live shows. 
“Your opponent will be revealed tomorrow, as a surprise right before your performances.” BoA mentioned. “But for today, we’re going to prepare you for tomorrow’s Battle Audition Round. We’re going to let you experience how it is to be an SM trainee for one day.” She said and welcomed you all to her home. She lead the way and you all followed her like a well behaved group of students on a field trip. 
The hallway looked and felt like you’re in a picture gallery of an art museum, except that the pictures hanged on the walls are of SM Entertainment’s artists. 
BoA led you all to a spacious studio, still on the ground floor. You were all told to sit on the shiny floor as the rest of the crew set their equipment up first. 
“Did you dye your hair or that’s natural?” Myong Minyung asked you out of nowhere. 
You smiled at her. “It’s natural.” You answered. She even asked if she can touch it and you told her it’s fine. Yes, your hair color is your mother’s and it’s really jet black and straight. It’s never been dyed or curled because your mother loves your hair and she would like for you to keep it as it is. 
The recording has commenced again with BoA standing in front of all of you. Then, she called you individually for your song assignments. It was your turn first. “Mikaela.” She said and you stood immediately. BoA was smiling at you as you walked closer to her. You recognized pride in her eyes and you suddenly felt a little pressured and wished she wouldn’t give you that kind of look. It’s like the kind that expects something and you don’t know what she expects from you and you don’t want her to expect anything from you at all. 
Out of all the other artists in SM, you are more familiar with her, and you wouldn’t be if not for Kpop Star because you had to research about the judges and the mechanics of the contest. You’ve only ever heard of the other SM artists by names or rather group names. 
You are definitely more familiar with YG Artists. You’re not really a fan of hiphop so Bigbang’s music is not your style. You are more into WINNER and a little bit into 2Ne1 too. You also like Lee Hi and Akdong Musician. 
“Do you know a lot of Korean songs?” She asked you and you bit your lower lip. You can’t tell her that most of the songs you know are actually YG songs since you’re now in SM’s team. BoA must have detected your limited knowledge about Korean songs so she moved on to another question. “How about my songs?” 
“Ne. I do.” You answered. But it’s going to be very uncomfortable singing her song in front of her and having her to judge you afterwards. 
Laughing as if she could read your mind, BoA handed you a lyric sheet. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you sing one of my songs...YET.” She jested and the rest laughed including you because you really thought she would. “Can you read the title of my song choice for you, Mikaela-sshi?”
Your weakness is reading Hangul, but it’s a good thing most Kpop song titles are in English so it’s a piece of cake but you squinted at the lyrics because they’re definitely in Hangul except for some one-liner English parts. “Good day.”
You heard gasps from behind you. 
BoA laughed once again, understanding the reaction from the other contestants. You’re not quite sure why. “Do you know that song?” You shook your head, biting your lower lip. “This is a song by IU and it is very popular because of the three-step high notes at the end of song. Not a lot of singers can pull that part off but I have a lot of faith in you.” She said and you groaned because although it sounds like a complement, in truth, it’s a huge pressure on your part. “The highest note on that song is an F#5 and I’ve heard you hit a G#5 before so I think this is the best song for you. We’re going to practice that song later on.” She really sounded so sure and you’re so overwhelmed. She wished you good luck and then called out the next person.
The moment you were back on your place beside Minyung, you scanned the lyric sheet. You found the three-step high notes that BoA was talking about. The first note is an E5, second note is the F5 and the last note is the F#5. You cocked your head to the side, allowing yourself to analyze the notes. 
Honestly, there’s not a problem reaching these notes for you because technically they’re just pretty much sitting right next to each other on the piano. In musical theatre, this is actually common. Not that it’s always easy because it still depends if the jump is within the same octave range or not. Now in this case, it is.
Back in elementary, when you started musical theatre you were classified as a mezzo soprano and through extensive training you have developed proper control and good resonance of course only within your range. You were told, a smart singer will choose to show off within her vocal range where she is more comfortable while a not-so-smart singer will show off higher than her vocal range and so tendency is she will sound strained because she is not comfortable and that’s a shame. 
In this case, you are going to sing within your range. You have a 3 octave range from C#3 as your lowest and up to E6 and your belting range can reach up to; well, just recently, a G#5. You prefer to sing in your head voice when you go beyond your normal range so...
You were very focused on your planning when you realized that BoA already finished calling everyone and is now currently saying something. You looked up to her to listen to what she’s saying.
“Today, I invited two of the most beautiful voices in SM Town and in the industry to join me in coaching you for tomorrow’s battle.” She said and all eyes turned to the door to see who will come in. You could see shadows under the slightly opened door and then someone appeared by the doorway followed by another one and then the entire studio was filled with gasps and giggles from the other participants.
You smiled because you know that these boys are SM Artists and though you don’t know their names, their faces look familiar. They look very handsome though, no wonder the girls in your team are very entranced. 
Secretly, you poked Minyung and whispered to her. “Who are they?” 
Minyung’s mouth dropped open and she started laughing at you. “The tall one is Shim Changmin from TVXQ and the other one is Byun Baekhyun from EXO.” She said and you nodded, thanking her afterwards. 
The boys introduced themselves individually and you could feel the excitement emanating from your team mates and it’s contagious. 
“Alright, let’s start with the coaching. I will call you one by one again and you will sing a song of your choice that should compliment your range so we can give you proper advice. Let’s start with Mikaela.” Says BoA and you exhaled. It seemed like BoA is following a certain list where you are always the first one. 
You stood, keeping a smile to your face. You’re not at all scared or intimidated because to be very honest, you are already used to receiving criticisms from your voice teachers before. 
The two boys looked at you and probably noticed your foreign features first because they stared at you longer than necessary and the one named Baekhyun had to nudge the taller one called Changmin to break it. 
“Does she speak Korean?” Changmin asked BoA who explained that you’re actually half-Korean and you do speak Hangul pretty fluently too. He looked so relieved afterwards. 
BoA then told you to introduce yourself and you did. “What are you going to sing, Mikaela-sshi?” She asked. You spotted a guitar on the corner of the studio right beside a keyboard and BoA followed your line of vision. “You want to play an instrument?”
“Can I?” You asked and one of the staff handed you the guitar. You checked if it’s still in tune and you adjusted it quickly before you looked up at the three people in front of you. “I’m going to sing Angel by Sarah Mclachlan.” You said and started strumming the guitar. You chose this song because you wanted to show that you can’t only belt but also sing slow smooth and relaxing song. “Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance...” You smiled when you heard Changmin groaning on the first line. “For a break that would make it okay, there’s always some reason...” 
“Ohhh the control...” You heard Changmin comment. 
“-to feel not good enough, and it’s hard at the end of the day...” You closed your eyes. You don’t want to continue looking at the judges, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to focus on the emotion of the song. McLachlan wrote this song about the Smashing Pumpkins keyboard player who overdosed on heroin and died. The ‘angel’ symbolizes the drug that the person gives in to repeatedly as he seeks release from all the things that makes him lonely and unhappy in the real world. Somehow, before you found out McLachlan’s explanation; this song reminded you of your mother. She’d always call you her ‘angel’, telling you that as long as you are with her, it’s all that matters. She said that you save her from pain, sadness and struggles everytime she looks at you. And you’d like to remain her guardian angel forever, and hopefully to all the other girls out there through your songs. “You’re in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here...” 
When you opened your eyes, you were surprised to find BoA welling up. Her eyes were glistening with tears threatening to fall and she wiped them off even before they did. Then she stood together with Changmin and Baekhyun to applaud you.

$$$

It was a long day. You spent almost seven hours here at SM’s building and finally, finally you’re all done for the day. 
After Changmin and Baekhyun has left you had a break for lunch and then resumed for the vocal training and to practice the songs assigned to you. Another person was introduced by BoA which is one of the most trusted vocal instructor in SM. He was on-point and very upfront. Minyung was even brought to tears by the criticism she received. 
When it was your turn, he just pointed out your weakness that you already know and acknowledge. He said you use bad technique in order to retain your fuller tone at the higher parts of your range. You push your larynx down whenever you attempt the lower notes and pulling it up only to create a strained tone in order to hit the higher notes. The transition from chest to mix voice up to the head voice needs a little more practice. 
“Thanks for your hard work. Go home safely.” Says the director and then all of you started gathering your things, in your case; it’s just your bag as you didn’t bring any instruments. 
You suddenly felt the pressing need to pee so you told Minyung and the others to go ahead since you know your way out already. When you got out of the restroom, you were just about to head out when BoA saw and called you out. She’s with someone, probably her body guard or assistant because he’s very bulky and he’s holding her bag. BoA’s probably already heading home herself. You bowed to her when you got closer but she immediately put her arm over your shoulder.
“You did great earlier. You always touch me with your interpretations.” Then she laughed. “I’m not allowed to have favoritism, but let’s keep that between you and me.” She whispered. 
You smiled at her. She finally said it. The words you didn’t want to hear. You don’t want to be close to BoA and establish any connection with her because you know she’ll want you to choose SM and you don’t want to disappoint her. “Kamsahamnida.” 
“I can see myself years ago whenever I look at you. I was just like you, very confident, very determined and I’ve always known what I want and I work hard to get it. But along the way, I realized that I can't really get what I want all the time.” She said smiling fondly at the memories in her mind. “I can feel your determination and it makes me want to cheer for you.” 
Wow. Kwon BoA can relate to you. Did she also go through what you have gone through? 
“I want to guide you.” She sounded so sincere and genuine that it warmed your heart. “Don’t hesitate to come to me if you have any questions or anything, okay?” 
You nodded, expressing your thanks again. She’s rendered you speechless. Then you heard voices behind you. Loud ones, talking, laughing boisterously and screeches of shoes on the floor as if they’re running around chasing each other.
BoA and you looked behind you and found a group of boys looking at your direction who immediately spotted BoA and have started bowing and greeting her. You recognized one of them. Byun Baekhyun. These handsome boys must be EXO.