I was looking my reflection on the mirror. I’m not that pretty likes Kim Tae Hee, Jeon Ji Hyun or whatever, but I’m beautiful as myself. Today, I am going to walking down to the aisle with Dad. Formally, he and I will be tying our love knot by a marriage. We will be getting married today after known each other for so long. Our relationship blooms when both of us were 17, during our high school. He is the student council President and I am just an ordinary nerd. But, we love each other and planned to get married today. I was nervous, but I know Hyuk probably will be even more nervous. I immediately stand in front of the mirror. I was wearing pastel gown and held a bouquet of white roses, it means a heavenly love. I touched my face reflection upon the mirror. “Hyuk-ahh, let’s die the things that only separate us,” murmured me.

          However, my pastel daydreams didn’t last long. Mom and my soon-to-be mother in-law come upon to my room. Their faces were paled while I tried my best to gives then my wan smile. “Yeon-ahh, Hyuk...is missing,” said my mom. I smiled bitterly at mom while fixing my pastel gown. “Mom, don’t scared me off like that,” replied my while looking at my white pearl earrings upon the mirror. “He is nowhere to be found,” said Hyuk’s mother. “Everyone is looking for him,” said Hyuk’s mother again. My mom faced her feet. The moment I heard his mother word, my knees feeling very numb. I can’t even stand on my own two feet and fall on the floor. “It doesn’t make any senses. Hyuk…he promised me,” uttered my heart. Yeah, he promised me. He never broke his promises with me. Not even once.

          I mustered up my courage and walk passed through mom and Hyuk mother. While carrying my smartphone, I kept dialling his number but no avail. As I reached the aisle hall, everyone is looking at me. That’s right. Hyuk isn’t there. His friends are looking at me. The crowd are looking at pathetic me. I walked down the aisle all alone ignoring those hurtful whispers. He’ll come. As long as I believe him, he will be running here. I was standing there like a statue ignoring every single word people are tormenting on me. Then, my little brother comes. “Everyone, thank you for coming today,” he said. My dad is standing next to him together with my mom and Hyuk’s mother. The crowd were whispering among themselves. How many embarrassments for my family and Hyuk’s family?

          “No!” cried me. “E-e-everyone, please be seated. Hyuk…he’ll come,” cried me as the guest intend to leave my wedding hall. I kept my poker face and wait. But, the crowd and guest ignored me. I can see my workplace boss and his son stand to leave the wedding hall. But, I won’t leave. My boss’s son glanced and smirks at me. Okay, he can do what he is going to do. I will stay here. Soon, the hall becomes empty. Dad asked me to go home. Hyuk will come. He will. Why? Hyuk, will never hurt me, yeah. He must have his own reasons. Whatever his reasons are, I am not going to get angry with him. Then, the night passed the day; I was still standing there all alone. The workers come to clean up the wedding hall.

          I walked by the roadside with my pastel gown. Why did he left? What the wrongs that I’ve done to make him disappear on our wedding day? Why didn’t he told me before if he was angry with me? I sat on the bench and looked at the passer by. They are whispering looking at me. Hyuk-ahh, why did you left? I did nothing why do I deserve this kind of humiliation? At least, can you tell me before hand? My tears rolled down my cheek and I kept hitting my painful chest that suffocates me. It’s hurt.

4 YEARS LATER…

          “Where is Executive Choi?” asked the new boss. He is Lee Hong Bin. He is our previous President son. Starting from today, he will lead the company. He always tries to point out my mistakes. “I’m here,” replied me. He nodded for a second and smirks. That is his ways. Always smirking and humphing like hell. He pretends to be cool city guy, and snobbish. “The truth is, I’m still wondering, why our business trip is to EUROPE?” asked me. “Executive Choi, this will create large opportunities with global society,” replied Executive Kang. Mr.Park and the others were clapping with the new CEO ideas.

          “Since everyone is agreeing, then I got nothing to say,” said me. I picked up my files. Then, the CEO approached me. “You’re going too right?” asked him. “No. I got many works,” replied me and left. He smirks at me. That cold guy, always approached me. I can still remember how he smirks at me during my wedding day. As I walked to my working table, Mr.Park stands in front of me. “Yahhh…you’ll come right?” asked him. “Never,” replied me with a bitter smile. “Yahh..It’s been how many years you are working like a crazy ! It’s time for you to rest!” cried him. I admitted he was a good uncle to me. Sometimes. “I need to work,” uttered me and passed through him.

          “If you think that only by working you can forget him, move on!” said him. Everyone in the office turns silent. The CEO and his y looking secretary also stunned in front of the meeting room looking at me. My heart somewhat hurts, and my sweat turns cold. I tried to hold back my anger. “As long as I wait, he’ll come. Hyuk will come back,” cried me looking at him. I immediately grab my bags. “I’ve got outdoor jobs, I’ll be leaving!” said me. I slowly pressed the down elevator and board. Alone. I sat at the elevator corner, and sighed. “Hyuk…I will wait,” uttered me.

          I walked timidly passed by the roads. Then, as I was trying to cross the road, someone grabs me by my waist. A car skidded fast right in front of me. “Do you want to die?” asked a voice. My CEO. Lee Hong Bin. “Is dying possible? No…I need to wait for him first, and then I’ll die with no regrets,” replied me and pushed his sturdy chest slowly. He walked next to me. Then, he pulled my hand and sat on a bench at the nearby park. “I was there 4 years ago,” said him. “I know it’s hurt for you, but that guy won’t come back,” said him. Now, it’s my turn to smirk at him. He don’t know Hyuk, how can possibly he said like that. “He’ll be back. Soon,” replied me.

          It’s weird that people asked me to move on. Hyuk is still missing without any words until today. Not only me, his friends, mother and family didn’t manage to contact him. “That European trip, let’s go. Who knows you might meet him there,” assured him. I looked at Hong Bin. Is him joking? He smiled at me and patted my back. “You’ll do the arrangement all right?” said him and smiled. Then, he pinched both of my cheek. “Smiled like that. Your long lost fiancée will be happy to see you smile like this,” compliment him. HongBin-sshi, is not that cold as I always think him to be.

          I can see everyone is sleeping. Then, a head fall onto my shoulder. This Lee Hong Bin is really. I tried to pushed his head, but never mind. I look at the rings on my wedding finger. It’s been four years since he left. “I like you…Yeon-sshi,” said him in his dreams. I quickly look at the guy whois in a deep sleep on my shoulder. Did he just say my name? No. Get to your sense. Hyuk. Hyuk. Right now, in the past, in the future…it will always be Hyuk. I don’t care about anything else as I with Hyuk.

          “Wake up,” I said. He immediately woke up looking straight into my eyes. “Why don’t you look at me just once Yeon-sshi?” asked him while glancing at me. I cannot avoid his deep stare and gulped down. “Pretend I hear nothing,” said me while looking away. He sighed and smiled. “If you request some times, then I’ll give you time to think about my confession,” uttered him slowly. “No need,” told me while biting my lower lips. He laughed slowly, “Think about it,” he said and continues his deep sleep. I looked at both of my palm; “Think about it,” his lingering words kept harassing my mind. It suffocates me, and I find it very hard to breath.

          It has been three days since our so-called business trip. Here, we are in Amsterdam. I wonder why the tourist guide let us wander around. As I was sitting on a bench, Hong Bin approached me. He smiled once and pulled my hands running away from our groups. Then, we climbed a flight of stairs. I exactly have no idea where is he bringing me. As we reached the top, I can see the scenery like painting. “It’s pretty,” said me. He nodded and held my hands. “Do you know, why there are gaps between fingers?” asked him. I moved my shoulder up and down instead of telling him I don’t have the answer. He held my shoulder, and said “because my fingers will filled the gap,” told him. “Just like your heart,” narrates him. Then, he continued to look at the beautiful view. I kept silent. “I’m not telling you to give me your answer now,” utter him while tucking his hands in the pockets.

          Since the second confession, Hong Bin avoided eye contact with me. He neither talked nor approached me. Now, we are already in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. The tourist guide was mumbling some words that I can hear it clearly. Mr. Park was standing next to me. Eunji and Chorong were fangirling all over the good looking tourist guide. As I looked on my right, I can see a guy whom I been longing for years were snapping pictures. Then, he looked at those pictures smiling and sighed. I was not wrong. It was him. Hyuk.

          I don’t know what ghost possessed me, but I pass through Eunji and Chorong and held Hyuk’s sleeve. I didn’t realised my co-workers were looking weirdly at me. Hyuk seemed surprised. He has been gone for so long. His attire looked really different. He was wearing a knitted cap, and long-john sleeved even though it is summer. “Hyuk-ahh, I found you!” cried me happily. I was very excited and ecstatic to meet him. But, his response was unexpected. He pushed me aside. “Why are you here? Get lost!” cried him. I was biting my lower lips and gulped my saliva down. “Don’t you miss me? I miss you a lot, to the moment I was choked with my feelings,” said me and tried to help both of his arms. “I dislike you! That’s why I left! Go away!” cried him. My co-workers were astonished. “I don’t want to marry you! It’s all stupid. My feeling to you, there’s nothing!” cried Hyuk. Who is this guy? It’s not Hyuk. I know Hyuk. He’s not like this. He is very amiable and friendly. “Who are you?” asked me. He smirks at me and held my shoulder,” Me? I’m Hyuk. I have dumped you four years ago!” whispered him and left. Before he walked leaving me, he cried “Don’t come and look for me again. Pabo-yaah!! I really dislike you! A lot!” said him and continues his walk slowly.

          “Hyuk-ahh… doesn’t left me! All I have been doing these years is waiting for you. Day by day I believe that you’ll come back. Like a fool,” uttered me. My knee was not strong enough to support my weight. I don’t even realised people were looking at pathetic me. I was really immersed with my world of Hyuk. Hyuk is completely left from my world. He said he dumped me four years ago. Just like everyone was saying to me, it was real. I’m the one who never sees the truth. I was the one who living in my pastel daydreams world filled with Hyuk. I am the fool who kept waiting. Hong Bin help me to stand and embraced me tightly.

6 MONTHS LATER…

          I was again in a white gown. Me. Today I become the bride again. Then, someone knocked the door. I was afraid to look, but then it was Hong Bin. He looks good in the suits. “I won’t run,” he said and held my cheek. “I’ll wait for you…” said him. I nodded. Why do I get married with Hong Bin? He is a nice guy. And, I think I have fallen for him a bit. There’s a saying said, if your first love is your true love, then there won’t be second love. My first love? Hyuk. Since our meeting six months ago, I don’t received any news about him. As I was preparing to walked to the aisle, Hyuk’s mom approached me. “You look pretty, I wish my son is here,” said her and hugged me.

          Then, I walked through the aisle. Hong Bin was there smiling at me charmingly. The guest was happy to see me. As we tied our vows, and Hong Bin kissed me, everyone was clapping. Then, someone I really know walk at the aisle. Hyuk. He was very different from before. He was wearing a respiratory aid while pushing his IV drops. He walked solemnly at me and the groom. “You look nice,” uttered him. “Are you all right, Hyuk-sshi?” asked my husband. Hyuk smiled at him before facing me. “What’s wrong with you?” asked me. As I tried to reach him, he falls onto my shoulder. “I-I-I don’t have many time left, I’m sorry…” said him. Hong Bin helped me and let him lie on my thigh. “Why don’t you tell me that youre sick?” whispered me. He held my cheek and I held his cold hands. “I love you…” uttered him before closing his eyes. His hands were cold. As I called his name repeatedly, he didn’t answer me. “Hyuk-ahhh, Wake up!” cried HongBin.

A DAY LATER…

     I am very sorry...

It's not that I don't want to tell you

but

every single thing is too late for us...

by the moment of our previous wedding

the doc told me

i don't have many time left

perhaps, do you still remember to travel around the world with me?

looking at all of those romantic and exciting place?

I'm sorry Yeon-ahh

It will be a lie if I does not missing you

However,

I CAN'T LIVE LONG...

You deserve happiness,

but..

it's not from me...

I ALWAYS ADRESS YOU AS MY ANGEL BEFORE...

You...remember it right?

But, in the end...you can't be my angel

It sounds cruel...

leaving you on our wedding day!

Reject you when you see me again,

but it was the best for you

I LOVE YOU

FOREVER LOVE-HYUK.

   

  I was still standing in front of graveyard. Hyuk didn’t tell anyone that he was deadly sick. Why did he left on our wedding day? It was too late to tell me. It does sound cruel, but he said it was the best for me. Then Hong Bin come and stands next to me. He handed me an album. It was an album about pictures. In every caption that Hyuk writes, he tells me how much he had been missing me and hoping we could share the views together. My tears rolled down my cheek. “Are you jealous?” asked me to my husband. He smiled. “Hyuk…he told me to take care of you, a day before he left the wedding hall,” said him. Hyuk-ahh. Even now you’re gone, nut the reminiscent still strong in my heart. In next life, let’s meet again. When I see you again, I will hold you tightly. My husband Hong Bin than held my hands. “I vowed Hyuk to look after you,” he said. I nodded. Hyuk-ahh, thanks for everything. Let’s meet again!