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Baekhyun stood frozen, unable to react. He felt afraid for some reason, he didn’t want it to always be like this for as long as he would stay with Chanyeol. He wanted to be able to greet him like any other normal person, but as he was about to force some words out his mouth, the tall man stalked closer to him, the smile vanished from his face. It was only when he was close, standing in front of Baekhyun while the small man was seated on the edge of the bed, that he realized that he had now officially missed out on the concert as it was today. Chanyeol cleared his throat when he went to sit next to Baekhyun.

“You need to stop freaking out when you see me,” he said with his voice low and Baekhyun looked down at his lap, embarrassed out of his mind. Of course he knew that, but he had somehow hoped that it was maybe not so obvious to Chanyeol – but in hindsight, that was impossible anyway. He felt the tall male’s eyes burn on his face, but he was unable to look up and speak his mind and he hated himself for it. What made him feel even more guilty, was that Chanyeol hadn’t taken the time to change or shower, but went straight into his room.

“I’m–”

“What is it about me that makes you so uncomfortable?” Chanyeol interrupted and because he sounded tired and somewhat hurt, Baekhyun looked up at him – but he wasn’t finished yet. “Is it because I’m… famous now?” To that, the small man frowned and shook his head. He had to get himself straight right now and he needed to say what was on his mind before Chanyeol would want him to leave or anything alike.

“No, that’s not it,” he said and though his heart was pounding, he forced himself to not look away from the other male’s eyes. “It’s just… I like you,” he said and was afraid Chanyeol wouldn’t have heard him, but there was a soft smile playing on the tall man’s lips that had Baekhyun look away in the end after all.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to stay here if I thought you didn’t.” He saw right through him and Baekhyun’s cheeks flushed red easily while he was thinking of what to reply to that, but he couldn’t come up with anything – only proving Chanyeol’s point more. “But that doesn’t explain why you can’t be cheerful around me like you are with Jongdae, or even back in high-school,” he pressed and Baekhyun mumbled something about liking him is enough to do that, but on second thought, it probably wasn’t really. There was just something about the tall man, something that he thought was difficult to describe. Then there was another thing that popped to his mind, something that might very well be the reason after all – especially added to the overwhelming presence that Chanyeol was to him.

“Well you can apparently see right through me, but I don’t – I don’t know what you think and so I’m cautious or something… because I don’t want you to dislike me but I’m not sure at all and it makes me feel scared that I don’t know.” There was a silence, one in which Baekhyun wanted to hold his breath or disappear, but in the end, he merely turned to look if Chanyeol hadn’t fallen asleep by any chance. He hadn’t. He looked at Baekhyun’s troubled expression for a little longer before he shook his head.

“I played for you, gave you my number, cooked for you, practically begged you to come stay at my place,” Baekhyun looked down, but his face was cupped by Chanyeol’s hands and he was forced to look in his intense eyes again. “What more signs do you need?” Baekhyun wanted to protest that he didn’t need signs, but concrete information, but he hadn’t the heart nor the time as his lips were kissed softly. His eyes naturally fell shut when he kissed the other man back, reveling in the moment because this was actually happening – finally.

Their first kiss ended quickly though and Baekhyun opened his eyes again, only slightly startled to see Chanyeol hadn’t moved away more than necessary to break the kiss. After all, he could still feel the other man’s breath on his face. There was a fond smile on Chanyeol’s face and the urge to kiss him just because of that, was almost visibly fought by Baekhyun who turned to look down.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said, merely to get the small man to look at him again, “don’t be afraid anymore.”

And in the following days, Baekhyun tried not to, because Chanyeol was his boyfriend now, they had decided. It still seemed difficult to let go, though. He went to work again with Jongdae and everything seemed back to normal – except that he didn’t have to work during the day and although he felt lonely every now and then, he wouldn’t say it. He felt better because he wasn’t always tired and he would wake up to small notes Chanyeol would leave him. So in only a few days, he started feeling guilty that he wouldn’t even be up by the time his boyfriend left home. And because Chanyeol had a terribly busy schedule, he barely even saw him anymore at all. He would come to the bar every night when closing time drew near, but they weren’t able to even get a little bit of cuddling time. When they’d return home, there was the same struggle every day because Baekhyun was still hesitant.

“Baek…” Chanyeol said, with some hesitation because, although he was pretty sure it wouldn’t happen, he didn’t want to upset his boyfriend. Baekhyun turned to look at him with a small smile, obviously tired from the long night at the bar. “Could you come with me for a bit?” the tall man asked and he knew it was really out of place, but Baekhyun felt the nerves again. Nevertheless, he followed after quickly changing out of his working clothes and into something more comfortable.

“What is it?” Baekhyun asked when he sat down next to Chanyeol on the taller male’s bed – something that hadn’t really happened in the short time they were together. Chanyeol lied down the second Baekhyun sat down and it wasn’t hard to see that something was bothering him – exactly what the small man was always afraid of.

“You need to let that go, you’re completely straining yourself,” Chanyeol said and the only reply he got, was an unintelligent huh? “The only thing you should be in control of, is yourself – not me, not my thoughts, not anyone else’s thoughts. Because you can’t and it’s making you like this… you’re always holding back because you’re afraid I won’t like it.” Baekhyun stayed silent for a while. He hadn’t expected any of that, if he were to be honest. He could have, though, because Chanyeol saw through him rather easily, he had already noticed. What was bothering him most, though, was that everything his boyfriend had said, was true – he was holding back and he didn’t like it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, for a little while unsure what to say or do, because he wanted nothing more than for Chanyeol to be happy – which was why he always waited until he was sure, as to not do anything that his boyfriend didn’t like. The air was pulled from his lungs though and Baekhyun yelped when he was yanked to lie down next to Chanyeol. Another thing which hadn’t really every happened before. There was a grin on Chanyeol’s face and a comfortable tingle in Baekhyun’s stomach.

“Don’t apologize to me,” Chanyeol said, fingers tangling in Baekhyun’s neatly kept fringe. “I’m sorry if any of that made you uncomfortable.” Baekhyun closed his eyes to his boyfriend’s touch and shook his head lightly.

“No you’re right. I just don’t know if I can,” he replied pensively after which he opened his eyes again, however, the look on Chanyeol’s face had Baekhyun hide his face in the crook of the tall man’s neck. He wasn’t purposefully nuzzling his neck or anything – it just happened because his scent was appealing and the warmth attracting. “You always look at me like that,” he muttered under his breath when he cuddled closely to Chanyeol. A short chuckle erupted from the body Baekhyun lay against and a nervous feeling coursed through his own body again. It was a reminder of the fear he had – not only of rejection, but of acceptation and what would come after as well. He needed to realize, though, that it would all simply not matter if he accepted that he wouldn’t be the only person in his own life any longer. But that meant giving up part of the control he needed so badly. Or maybe that was simply his own idea and he didn’t need it. Maybe what he really needed, was to let someone in, someone to enjoy life together with, instead of alone.

“Of course I do.” There was a kiss on top of Baekhyun’s head and the small man smiled. There were certain things he realized, things that needed to change if he really wanted to be happy – although he hadn’t been as happy as he was now in ages.

The next morning, Baekhyun woke up to the sound of Chanyeol’s alarm, although the volume was low. They still lay entangled and although Baekhyun was still tired, he willed himself to get up and turn the alarm off. Chanyeol hadn’t woken up from it, it seemed. He untangled himself from his boyfriend to grab his phone from the nightstand and slid his finger over the screen in the appropriate place before putting it back again.

“Chanyeol,” he said, bringing his face down to the other man’s and to his surprise, his eyes already fluttered open. “Your alarm went off,” he said, resisting the urge to slip back into bed and cuddle a little more. It had been the first night he spent together with Chanyeol and he didn’t really want it to end. There was an unexpected moan from Chanyeol, who apparently didn’t really feel like getting out of bed either. “Come, I’ll make you breakfast,” Baekhyun proposed because he hadn’t been able to do so before because he had never been awake before well after Chanyeol had left.

“It’s five-thirty,” Chanyeol replied, voice thick with sleep and that feeling in Baekhyun’s stomach awakened again. He pressed his eyes close for a second to will it all away before he smiled and went to prepare breakfast anyway.

He went to work with Chanyeol and decided that it was what he wanted to do, how he wanted to spend his days. He wanted to look after Chanyeol and have the tall man look after him, too, instead of doing everything he ever did for himself. There were secret cuddles and kisses when they were out of the sight of so many prying eyes and Baekhyun was finally able to give in to every little bit of need he felt – whether Chanyeol would like it or not. 

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I decided to end it here ^^' I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for the support c: